Page 98 of Blades of Obsession

My thoughts spiral, crashing into each other like waves in a storm. I can’t think straight, can’t focus on anything other than this overwhelming sense of loss. It creates a black hole that’s tearing through my heart with every beat.

It hurts in my chest.

Worse than the day it did when I was seven and finally realized my mother was never coming back.

Please make the hurt stop.

Please.

I pull out my knife. The one thing other than Amelia that makes me feel anything. I press it to my neck and make a surface cut, nothing too deep. Just enough to feel it. I deserve to feel it. A few drops of blood make their way onto my black slacks. And I cut again in another body part. And again. Over and over.

I clutch at the sheets, fingers digging harshly into the fabric trying to anchor myself to reality. But reality is slipping away, replaced by a swirling vortex that blurs the line between love and complete, insane,desperateobsession.

I feel like I can’tbreathewithout her. And I won’t. Not for long anyway, because I’m going to get her back even if it kills both of us in the process.

The knife digs a little deeper into my thigh, and I grunt. But it helps. It clears my mind a little. Makes me feel a little better.

Think. Think. I have to think of a plan.

I know her like the back of my hand, so it shouldn’t be too hard. But I have to stay calm, keep my head straight. I can’t freak out like the last time I lost her. At least this time, she’s not in any imminent danger, trapped with a man hellbent on revenge. So I can focus. Somewhat.

The plan I come up with is far-fetched, and she may not even believe it, but damn if I don’t try. When I dial Asher’s number—seems like I always call him when I’m in a bind—I hear a faint moan before he says hello.

“You guys can’t stop for one phone call, really?”

“Hey, fuck face!” Frankie yells in the background. “Next time I see you, I’m kicking you in the balls for whatever you did to Amelia.”

“Frankie!” Asher scolds, followed by the sound of two quick, resounding smacks that echo over the line.

“Asher, I don’t have time for this. Come to my fucking room so I can talk to you privately.”

Asher sighs. “Go over in the corner and stay there until I get back, I mean it.” A few moments later, the creak of a door sounds before he hangs up.

“What’s up?” he asks, closing my room door behind him.

“I need you to get into her phone system and block all outgoing and incoming calls except for me, John, and her mother. Oh, and Frankie. Rhett too, just in case. But that’s it. Especially make sure her father’s won’t be able to get through.”

“Amelia’s?”

“Who else would beher? Huh? You’re pissing me off. And stop saying her name.”

“Okay, well, I’m busy with Frankie right n—”

“Asher, I swear to God.” The interruption is harsh, desperation threatening to break through in my voice. “I’m not asking twice. I need it done,now.”

“You should get into the military because you sure know how to bark orders. Let me go get my laptop, damn… Whoa, what the hell happened to your neck and arms?”

“Don’t fucking worry about it! Just get the laptop,” I snap.

“You need to take a chill pill,” he mumbles, walking out of the room. He’s around Frankie so much, he’s adopting her vocabulary. She’s always telling someone to take a chill pill.

While he’s gone, I call the rest of the people I need to, to set the plan into motion. Starting with John.

“What do you need?” he answers. He knows I wouldn’t call him unless I needed something.

“Amelia’s going to call you probably sometime tomorrow. Whatever she asks for, say no. No matter what.”

John laughs, a sound that’s more mocking than anything. “Aren’t you putting too much effort into this one? This is the second or third time you’ve needed help in dealing with her. Like fuck, you can have any girl you want. There are billions on this planet, I know one who will bark if you say to bark. And you’re letting yourself stress over one.”

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