Page 83 of Fated Shot

“You didn’t fail him.”

“They gave me everything after my dad bailed on me, and this is how I repay them? First Reid, now Penn?”

“What are you talking about?” I ask.

“They’re going to hate me, never going to forgive me, and I’m going to be alone.” A single broken sob rips out of him. “I never wanted to be alone.”

Every inch of my soul is shattering at the wounded man ahead of me. I try my best to comfort him, rubbing his back.

“Shh, it’s okay. You’re not alone, Jack.” I’m not convinced he can hear my words as he continues staring blankly forward, tears still streaming. “I’m here, okay? Just rest, everything is okay. Everything will be okay.”

At my words, he closes his eyes—not in a comforted way, but as if rejecting what I’m saying, forcing himself not to believe it. I just keep rubbing his back, softly tickling his face, until eventually he stops shaking. His breathing is finally regulated enough that I allow myself to close my eyes along with him.

“I love you.” I whisper so softly even I couldn’t hear the words out loud.

Chapter 33

Jack

I had a dream Mia told me she loved me. I was warm and at peace before the cruelty of the day and reality invaded my body.It’s not real life, Jack.

I woke up beside her, though, barely remembering anything from last night. I’m partially grateful for whatever form of self-protection has blocked it out, but also humiliated. I stay blinking down at the beautiful girl in front of me. Sun-kissed cheeks, freckles painting every inch of her face, she’s too perfect for this world, she’s too perfect for me.

I’m meant to be alone, it’s been destined to be that way forever. I think I’ve always known it would all come crashing down, I just thought I might have more time to avoid the inevitable. Her impossibly long lashes flutter open under my stare as I shut my eyes in a desperate attempt to not get caught.

“Jack.” The sincerity of her soft voice pulls at my heart. She has every inch of it.

I meet her doe-eyed gaze, peering right into my soul. Taking a deep breath, sinking further into reality, I start, “I’m sorry for last night. I’m not sure what came over me.”

The last thing I remember is falling asleep to her rubbing my back. I let myself lean into that feeling, just wanting to be around her one last time.

“You don’t have to apologize, I wish you had called me. You just disappeared.”

“I couldn’t face them.” I swallow hard at the recognition of my own cowardice. “I can’t face them.”

Admitting it out loud feels worse than a puck to the face.

“I just panicked.” Weakanda coward, a winning combination.

“You need to talk to me, Jack. Let me in, I want to know what’s going on in your head.”

Everything was too good. I knew it, too. I just didn’t want to come to terms with it. I’m going to lose her anyway, she might as well know the truth.

“Penn’s brother used to play hockey too. Reid, he was even better than both of us. Team Captain, headed straight for the draft. Even then, everyone knew he had a huge career ahead of him.” It’s difficult to talk about even now. It should be him playing for the Tundra. It was his dream, but instead, it’s me.

“I made a bad play. I had possession of the puck and ended up passing it to him. It was a suicide pass, I didn’t even look around him to see the two massive defensemen who charged at the same time. He didn’t stand a chance; he fell to the ice just like Penn did. Knocked unconscious for over ten minutes. I thought he was going to die.”

I try to continue through the dryness that’s invaded my mouth.

“That was because of me, Mia. I’m the one who got him injured. After a hit like that, it was too much of a risk to keep playing. He easily could have gone pro; he was so much better than me, but with one stupid play, I destroyed his career and ruined his life. I took everything from him.”

I wait for her reaction, preparing for her to bolt out of bed and my life.

“You can’t blame yourself for that. Hockey is a physical game.”

“It was my mistake, Mia.”

Even after all that, the Brooks family still somehow kept me around, coming to every single one of my games. I don’t know how you can forgive someone after something like that, but somehow they did. Over time, I came to terms with it and let myself believe I could be a part of their family. But now this? I don’t deserve them, I don’t deserve to be happy.

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