Page 2 of Unwrapping His Naughty Secret

I read it over one last time. I’m not using my real name, of course. I’m not a dummy. And I’m aging myself up because I’ve heard too many horror stories about creeps who only want to perv on college coeds. If anyone asks, I’ll morph my part-time job in the Admissions office into my actual career or something.

Nobody will ask. You’re overthinking this.

Which is how I handle everything in my life. I did extensive research dives on every college I considered. I picked Ridge College because Conception Ridge has a growing tech sector, but it’s an affordable town, so if I meet the right person and want to settle down and have kids, I’ll be able to do that without breaking the bank.

Definitelynotputting that in my dating bio, though.

First things first. Cara needs a kiss.

Kira, age 25

I like ice cream, preferably with all the toppings, and waking up early enough to see the sunrise (because dawn is pretty cool, but also because it’s extra quiet then and I’m a bit of an introvert). Looking for someone with experience to make my first kiss really, really good. No creeps need apply.

I tap the submit button. An icon flips on the screen, and then there’s a green button next to my inbox. Time to see if anyone is interested in helping me out.

Twelve hours later,I’m shocked at how many creeps replied.

Eager to become a slut, huh?

I’d make you wait for your first kiss until you’ve taken me bareback to the root, bitch

Horny bio, I like it. Do you like to get on your knees, honey?

Delete, delete, delete. Twenty-seven responses, and none of them are what I was expecting. I edit my profile to be clear that I’m not interested in sex, just a first kiss. That doesn’t slow the creeps down, and by lunch, I’ve turned off notifications.

I still check every few hours, but I don’t need to know when another perv has dropped into my inbox.

It’s late that night when I get my firstreasonable reply.

Hunter

Did you get a deluge of weird replies? Because I posted something similar a few months ago, an eager/honest profile, and it was like waving a red flag for perverts. I’m still getting them.

He attaches a photo of his own bio.

Hunter, age 43

Haven’t dated in twenty-two years and I’m not really sure where to start again. We didn’t have apps “back in my day” so I could use a tutor for this space. All interested instructors will be wined and dined like a queen. Or a princess. Whatever you like. Delete this, Hunter. You aren’t ready for the internet.

I giggle and press my hand to my face before replying. My cheeks are burning.

Kira

Is Hunter your real name?

Hunter

Yes? The app said we had to match our government ID

Kira

They don’t check that

Hunter

*groan*

Kira

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