Page 65 of Dopplebanger

Evan clapped me on the shoulder. Then his eyes met mine. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but you look like shit.”

“Well, since there’re so manyrightways to take that, I’ll choose one of them.”

My brother laughed, but the humor faded as quickly as it came, his expression growing serious. “You know, I was so pissed that you’d try to take Gwen from me. That you’d cross that line…”

“Hey, you were the one who?—”

“I know, I know.” Evan held up two fingers. “Peace, remember? I came to declare peace. What I’m saying is, now that I see you and how miserable you clearly are without her, I realize I never cared about her the way you do.”

I clenched my jaw, working to keep a lid on those damn mushy emotions that refused to stay down. “I tried to tell myself it was messed up to even think about crossing that line with her because you two had dated, but…”

“But I forced you on that road trip, and she’s super-hot.”

“Among a lot of other things. I know it sounds cheesy, but I’ve never connected with anyone like that.”

“Yeah, you’ve definitely got it bad.”

“I’d like to say something noble, like if you’re not okay with it, I won’t pursue her. But I can’t do that.” Earlier I’d deluded myself into thinking maybe I could cut my losses, but talking about Gwen, thinking about her… It sent resolve coursing through me once again. “Not that I know how to get her to forgive me, or to even fucking talk to me, but if she ever does, nothing will hold me back.”

“Well, if you want the advice she gave me when she thought I was just some random drunk dude with the wrong number, she said to show the girl how much you care, and to be there for her.”

I thought I’d told her how much I cared, and I wanted to be there for her, but it was hard when she wouldn’t let me.

Maybe she needed more than that. Maybe she needed proof that we were supposed to be together, and I just so happened to have experience with proof and beyond reasonable doubts. In fact, getting rid of reasonable doubts was in my job description.

Gwen and I might not have months of history, but that didn’t mean shit when it came to love.

Love.The word echoed through me. I hadn’t let myself dare think the word these past two weeks, but it’d popped in there before I could stop it, and the knowledge of how much I loved her washed over me, no way I could deny it, and I found I didn’t want to.

And after I proved to her that I knew the real her—the one she didn’t let everyone see—I intended to tell her. If I could get her to believe that, hopefully I could get her to believe in the rest. To believe in us.

An idea started forming. One I really hoped wouldn’t end with her filing a restraining order against me. If anyone could appreciate going after what you wanted, surely it’d be a girl who ignored signs about pools being closed.

“I’d recognize that look anywhere,” Evan said. “You’ve got the Haynes scheming face on.”

If my scheming was less tricking and more winning over, surely that made it okay. “Go big or go home, right?”

Proving that even after all the shit that’d happened the past few weeks, when it came down to it, my brother was a good guy, he said, “What can I do to help?”

THIRTY-TWO

My eyes fought to stay open, and I covered my yawn with a hand as I pushed inside Doc Lovejoy’s Vet Clinic and Grooming Center. Lately, I hadn’t been sleeping much. Too many thoughts of a certain guy, which left me irritated about the fact that I couldn’t just forget about said guy.

He’d stopped calling five days ago. Which was what I wanted?

Shoot, even in my head I put a question mark on that. While theoretically it would help me try to get over and move past everything that’d happened, I hated how much disappointment I experienced over him giving up already.He doesn’t think I’m worth fighting for.

Which was an unfair thought since I’d been the one not returning his calls, and I still didn’t know if I could ever forgive him, and yeah… Long story short, I hadn’t been sleeping and my mood tipped toward the constantly-discontent side of the spectrum, which made me feel not like myself. To make matters worse, I didn’t have time to stop for coffee this morning, so I didn’t even have the caffeine I needed to fake being my bubbly self.

“Morning, Gwen,” Dr. Lovejoy sing-songed, and I pulled out the plastic smile. Usually she was the tired one who took an hour or so to fully wake up and I was the one giving out chipper greetings first thing.

“Morning. I’ll get you those reports—I did them last night, I just wanted to doublecheck them when my brain was fully awake and functional before I emailed them to you.”

My boss was giving me this weird smile I didn’t think I’d seen on her before. “No worries. Er, I mean, yeah. Get right to your computer so you can do that.”

Oh-kay, then.

I rounded my desk, and warmth somersaulted through me. My boss had gotten me coffee from Sacred Grounds. I didn’t even know she’d been paying attention to where I bought my coffee. A brown bag sat next to it, too, and I opened it up, my mouth watering when I spotted the chocolate muffin inside.

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