Page 62 of Dopplebanger

“Guinevere, please.”

Man, that hurt, the misery inside of me growing fangs and sinking them into me until internal bleeding seemed imminent. “I can’t. Just let me go.” I threw the word he’d used back at him. “Please.”

He pressed his lips to the back of my neck, then dropped his arms and took a large step back. “I’ll give you some space. But I’m never gonna let you go.”

THIRTY

“I need you to at least pretend to enjoy our show,” Tori said. “You didn’t even drool over Elijah, and he’s doing some really deadly stuff while maintaining his gentlemanly edge.”

I pulled my gaze off the TV. Not that I’d seen any of the show. She could’ve told me that everyone had just died, and I’d be like well, that’s too bad. In addition to not being fully present, my emotions had been set to the numb setting. You’d think it’d be nice, but it was more like… drifting. Pointlessly drifting, at that.

All day long I faked it at work, then I came home and pretended to be okay.

Tori turned to me. “Listen, love, I’ve tried to give you some time, but it’s been two weeks since I picked your sad butt up from the airport, and you’re starting to scare me. If you miss him that much?—”

My head jerked up, my eyes doing a combo of pleading and threatening for her to not say it. When Ethan emailed me a flight itinerary, I’d wanted to tell him he could shove his plane ticket bribe up his very nice ass.

Except I wouldn’t have added the “very nice,” even if it was true.

But I’d needed a way to get home in time for work the following Monday morning, and I hadn’t wanted to go back home and explain to my parents or my friends what’d happened. Even when I’d told Tori the whole story it sounded like this twisted, tawdry soap opera that couldn’t possibly be true.

Sometimes I wished I’d imagined it. Or even made it up.

Yet thinking of the time Ethan and I spent together as “not real” also made this awful ache seize hold of my chest. In short, I was a freaking mess.

“Did he call today?” Tori asked.

My chin tried to quiver, but I forced it to remain firm. “No.” I knew that eventually he’d give up. Two weeks was admirable. And since seeing his name on my phone screen hurt, I’d begged him to stop calling. I’d gone to block his number a dozen times. I could never quite follow through, and I didn’t want to analyze that, either.

How could I miss someone who’d deceived me and hurt me so badly?

I hadn’t seen Evan, either. He’d texted once, just a simpleI really am sorry. I know it’s a cliché line, but I really would like to stay friends.

“So that was the goal, right?” Tori arched an eyebrow. “Which means you’re glad he didn’t?”

I would’ve appreciated a less skeptical tone, as well as that question mark on the end of her statement, but I decided to pretend they weren’t there. “Of course. I need to move on.”

She sighed like I was being difficult.

“Are you saying I should just be okay with him pretending to be someone else?”

Tori held up her hands. “I’m on your team. I’ve just also never seen you like this. Not even after you found that beeyotch and your douchehole ex in bed together.”

“Not sure calling her a beeyotch fits with how I forgave her and am trying to slowly let her back into my life. Same with the douchehole.”

“Girl, you can go ahead and forgive them, but I’m going to hold on to my grudge forever. It’s my right as your best friend.” She pulled me into a side hug, dropping her head against mine. “Look, as evidenced by my Klaus crush, I’m not totally opposed to guys with a lot of gray area. But I think that if you did happen to give Ethan another chance—and I’m not saying that you should or have to…” Her worlds blurred all together, into a stream that not even I had a chance of interrupting. “But I do think the boy got in over his head, and that he does genuinely care about you. And from everything else you said, he’s not usually a gray area guy. He’s a refined gentleman who sometimes does bad things for his family.” Tori tipped her head toward the screen, where my fictional boyfriend, Elijah Mikaelson, was talking calmly one second and then ripping hearts out of chests the next, all in the name of defending his family.

“It’s okay because he’s a vampire.”

“So you’re saying if Ethan was a vampire you’d forgive him?” Tori tapped a contemplative finger to her lip. “Maybe I’ll tell him to try that next.”

I cocked my head, giving her the narrowed-eyed glare she deserved. “It’s okay becauseThe Originalsis fiction.”

“Ah. You have a loophole for everything.” She paused, and my instincts told me I wouldn’t like the next words out of her mouth. “Except the guy you fell in love with.”

“I did not…” Great. My body chose now to lift the numbness so I could experience the full impact of the pain. My heart knotted so tightly that it couldn’t keep pumping, yet it kept on trying, and the only thing it succeeded in getting through my veins was anguish.

It was crazy. I mean, yeah, I fell a little bit for Ethan, but that was because we’d fast-forwarded all the beginning stuff—the part where I’d been dating his freaking brother—to the already intimate phase.

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