Page 81 of Moonlighting with the Werewolf

He’d expressed the same thought countless times during our meetings.

The door opened again, and Tyrese and Nissa walked in hand in hand, cuddly and kissy, as if they were about to renew their vows and couldn’t wait to get started. Tyrese wore a classic black suit, white shirt, and tie combo, while my beta’s pale purple dress flowed into a skirt that highlighted her baby bump and floated an inch or so above the floor. I did my best to conjure some joy for how madly in love they were, but did they have to rub it in my face today of all days? Talk about battery acid on an open wound.

My impending nuptials aren’ttheirfault.Still, I appreciated Diego’s dour mood and how well it mirrored my own. If I didn’t get a proportion of the loathing out now, how the hell was I going to stand in front of two packs and two covens and celebrate ending centuries of fighting?

All so we could breed and battle vampires. Fuck today already.

“Sorry,” Nissa said, her smile dropping as she caught sight of me. Assumedly because she could read my facial tics as well as I could read hers. “We were just at the cli—in Guadalupe Falls getting an ultrasound and found out...” She snuggled up to her husband, who kissed her forehead.

“We’re having a girl,” they said together, and Tyrese lifted Nissa’s hand and kissed the back of it, his eyes for her and her alone. “We were both surprised, especially when Kerig—uh, Doc—estimated the due date closer to three months than four, given the size of our baby.”

They were tiptoeing around, avoiding saying Kerrigan’s name, as if that would prevent hole after hole from being punched clean through me. Since leaving her sleeping in my bedat four a.m., I’d bled misery. The defunct organ in my chest pumped it through my body, infused it with agony, and sent it right back through me in bursts. What good was accelerated healing if it didn’t take care of the most pain I’d ever been in?

At the sound of the loudthwack, the three of us turned to gape at Diego, who’d just punched a fist through the drywall. “Sorry.” He shook his head and then lifted his chin. “Actually, I’m not. Tyrese and Nissa, and you and Kerrigan—you’ve all found someone youwantto pledge your life to, and that’s so rare. In the beginning, I’ll admit I was worried about the relationship and the effect it might have on your decision-making skills, along with the majority of our members. But you’ve already given up so much for the pack, and most everyone agrees it’s unfair you have to do it again, on such an extreme level at that. I’ve never given a shit about marriage. Hell, one to form an alliance with no expectations besides breeding and keeping two species from tearing each other apart would be more like an ideal arrangement to me.”

I whipped my head toward Diego, and he held up his hands.

“Sorry, man. That last part was a fucked-up thing to say.”

“Only if you don’t mean it,” I said, and my three closest friends cast confused looks in my direction. I lifted the contract and reread the last paragraph, paying close attention to every single word.

An idea was forming, one that was ludicrous and risky, and I absolutely shouldn’t entertain.

But then I thought of Kerrigan. From her smile, to her wit, to how she never hesitated to put me in my place. Of her scent and driving my hands through her hair, and watching her shatter apart while she was naked and underneath me. I replayed the part of last night where she swept her hair aside and told me to bite her. She’d been willing to go through a painfultransformation, track down a gun, and shoot Andromeda, just to be with me.

I didn’t deserve her or her unconditional love, but if there was anything I could do— anything at all—wouldn’t it be worse not to try?

I scratched at the scruff on my cheek, my mind whirring, and hope I didn’t dare give into started to form. “If you’re serious, there is one thing you could do. But it’s a big thing. We’re talking life changing.”

Diego strode toward me, fealty and resoluteness setting his jaw. “Anything. Name it, and I’m in.”

Was I honestly considering saying the words aloud? Of fighting myself as strongly as I’d have to fight one of my own men? Not just one of my own men, but one of my best friends and the guy who’d been there for me since the year we were both born? In truth, we’d become brothers. We gave each other shit and were competitive to a fault, but at the end of the day, there was love and affection. If you messed with one of us, you’d have to contend with both of us.

“I need you to challenge me for the position of alpha,” I said. “Once it starts, our primal instincts are going to take over, especially with the top-ranking position hanging in the balance. Holding back isn’t in my DNA, just like it’s not in yours. Not to mention that no wolf—from our pack or any other—would respect either of us if we didn’t give it our all. The fight’ll be ugly and brutal, and there’s a high likelihood we’ll both limp away.”

His jaw hung open, same as Nissa’s and Tyrese’s. I got it. It wasn’t anything I ever thought I’d hear myself say, either. I’d lived for the pack so long that panic welled over not being in charge or controlling each working, moving part as I worked to change the werewolf hierarchy from the inside out.

The creases in Diego’s forehead deepened and then smoothed. Gradually, one dark eyebrow winged up, and anambitious glimmer played across his features. “You...want me to challenge you for the alpha position?”

The paper in my hand crumpled, the fact that he was obviously interested in the job giving me a moment of hesitation. But that wasn’t the point, and it was harder than expected to coerce my ego into taking a backseat. This wasn’t about being the biggest or the baddest.

I lifted the contract and tapped the paragraph about Kerrigan’s life being bound to the agreement. If thealphaof the Bridgewater pack failed to marry Natalia; if thealphafailed to produce an heir.

The only way for me to be with Kerrigan was to no longer be the alpha.

“Yes,” I said. “If you do this, though, you’ll have to swear to follow through with the wedding. Kerrigan’s safety won’t be guaranteed until you produce an heir—just so you’re clear on what becoming the alpha would entail. On what exactly I’m asking of you.”

Slowly, Diego nodded, as though he suspected this might be some elaborate trap.

“If you’re going to challenge me, it’s going to have to be right before the wedding, in front of the packs and covens so they can all stand witness. More than that...” I blew out my breath, picturing Kerrigan in my mind and letting my love for her steel my resolve. “In order for this to work, I need you to win.”

CHAPTER FORTY-SIX

All during Nissa’s ultrasound,it’d been impossible not to think about Conall and the upcoming wedding at the compound. But at least it’d kept me busy for a snippet of time.

Through the open doorway of the exam room, Sasquatch paced across the lobby of my clinic. I’d actually had to request he go to the lobby because he took up so much space and the anxiety radiating off him amped mine to the level I felt as jittery as if I’d consumed an entire pot of espresso.

Since he’d been ordered not to leave my side, I’d also had to assure him the lobby still counted and that he might as well take the entrance since Tyrese could cover the back.

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