Page 91 of Fundamentals in Flirting

“Umm, yes, the thing…” Her voice trailed away and she twisted her fingers together, looking around the room. When she finally glanced at me, I raised my eyebrows and waited for her to continue.

“Oh yeah, right, so, um, here’s the thing…” She gesticulated with her hands, as if I should know what this “thing” was. Her brows creased and I sensed that she was thinking pretty hard, caught in some sort of inner turmoil.

“The thing?” I prompted, when she hadn’t spoken for a few moments.

“Oh, yeah. Teddy. Teddy is the thing.”

“He is?”

Teddy had been conspicuously quiet and absent since last Saturday despite several of my attempts to reach out to him over the week, and I’d managed not to think about him for the last ten minutes or so, but there he was again, larger than life, at the front of my mind. My confusion about how things had ended after the village fayre started up again, an ache opening in my chest like a wound. But I had a way out now. I had another option, an escape route from all the awkwardness I had inadvertently caused. A chance to start over if things with Teddy had really gone as pear-shaped as I was beginning to believe they had.

“Yes, and Henry,” Clara carried on.

“So, twin things?”

I was still no clearer about what was going on.

Clara smiled and blew out a long breath. “I’m just going to get right to it.”

“If you would, I have an unappealing and slightly soggy tuna sandwich waiting for me to finish eating before my next appointment.”

“Oh, I’m sorry!”

“It’s ok, Clara. What’s going on between Ted and Henry? Is everything ok?” I gentled my voice, smiling genuinely.

“Yeah, no. Actually, no. And only you can fix it, so I’ve come here to ask for your help.” She wrung her hands together. “To, um, well, you know, fix it?”

“Do you want a seat?”

I gestured to the examination table and propped my bottom against the edge. She smiled and clambered up next to me, so we were shoulder to shoulder, looking at the blank wall of the room rather than at each other.

“Teddy thinks you’re in love with Henry,” Clara blurted out suddenly, swinging her stiletto-clad feet rhythmically backwards and forwards.

“What?! You know that’s not true, right? And Henry, please tell me he knows that’s not true?”

Christ! I was mortified. Where the hell had this come from?

Clara turned a little to face me.

“I know – we both know. Don’t worry. We’ve seen how you look at Ted.” She gave me a knowing smile, then continued, “But we can’t seem to get that through to him. He’s adamant about it. They argued the other night and he said some stuff about being compared to Henry all his life, and he was sick of never measuring up. That he didn’t want to see him anymore and Henry is distraught and now they’re not speaking. In fact, Teddy won’t speak to anyone and has gone completely off the rails.”

“What can I do? Ted’s not exactly speaking to me either.” He hadn’t returned a single one of my calls or messages.

“He isn’t?” Clara seemed surprised.

“No. After you turned up after the village fayre, he pretty much kicked me out and has been ignoring me ever since. I can see why now.”

“What happened?”

“I don’t know. We were chatting and, well, um, likely about to kiss or something, when you burst in on us,” I said uncomfortably.

“Ah, righto. Sorry about that.” Clara’s foot swinging ramped up in speed and irregularity. “We need to come up with a plan to get you two face to face, so you can tell him you love him.”

I began to cough. “Love him?”

“Yes! It’s so bloody obvious that you two are madly in love with each other.”

“I don’t know about that,” I said in a strangled voice. “He’s only after a good time anyway. You know what he’s like.”

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