Page 78 of Fundamentals in Flirting

“And why should that matter? I’m successful too.”

My mother gave me a once-over with an appraising eye. “He told me he’s kept your place in his laboratory open for you. He wants you to return with him.”

“He told you that?”

He wanted me back in the department? The thought of my academic career being dangled like a carrot before me was oddly exciting and unsettling.

“Yes, he did. He was enormously complimentary of your potential and your ability. He feels you’re wasting your talents here, and frankly so do I.”

“I’m not going back.”

My voice carried a weight of conviction I wasn’t sure I was really feeling.

“Why wouldn’t you want to return to Bristol? Why wouldn’t you want to make something of yourself rather than just settling for this unfulfilled existence?”

Undisguised, easy criticism laced every word, her tone clearly stating that this was a rhetorical question.

“He’s said he’ll take you back and let you move in with him as well. Surely it’s worth considering?”

As I ordered an iced coffee at the counter, I let my mind drift. Undeniably, the pull of research was still there, tugging at my heart. It was an inescapable itch, a yearning to contribute to the bigger picture, to do something worthy. I wanted to continue to expand my knowledge, to ask questions, to be involved in the absolute cutting edge of veterinary medicine. I wanted to be proud of my achievements.

“Dr Havens?”

A quiet voice dragged me back from the brink of my inner turmoil, and I came face to face with Amelia Harris, a teenage girl whose horse, Sparkie, I’d been to see after a late-night bout of colic recently.

“Hello, Amelia. How’s Sparkie?”

The relief and love on her face was evident.

“He’s doing well. He’s eating better and pretty much back to normal.”

“That’s great.” I smiled and touched her shoulder. “You’ve done a brilliant job looking after him.”

“I stayed all night in his stable when you left. My mum thought I was mad, but I couldn’t leave him.”

“It’s a good idea to keep a close eye on them when they’ve been colicky.”

“Thanks.” Amelia’s cheeks turned rosy, twisting her hands together in front of her. “I just wanted to say thank you for saving him. I was so worried and he means everything to me.” The girl’s voice wobbled a little but she took a shaky breath and carried on. “You see, there’re some girls at the stables saying things about me”—she gestured down her body—“saying that I’m too fat to ride him, that I’m not good enough for him, and that the reason he got poorly is because of me.”

I gazed into her pain-filled eyes and my heart broke a little.

“Amelia, don’t let hurtful people get to you. They’re wrong – you know that, don’t you? He got colic because of a build-up of gas in his intestines, likely from stuffing his face with grass in his new field, not because of you or because you did anything wrong.”

She nodded but looked unconvinced. I knew how she was feeling so well. I could see my own teenage self standing in front of me, struggling to believe in anything but the bad stuff. I could see the internal war raging inside her, the words of those around cutting into her self-confidence, the scars so deep and so real that they physically hurt.

In a quiet voice, I said, “Amelia, I was bullied at school, so I have some idea of how you may be feeling.”

“Really? Why?”

There was a slight look of disbelief, as if any adult could possibly know what it’s like to be a teenager.

“Because of my freckles.” Letting my hair fall forwards, I rubbed my face, covering the freckles on my nose with my fingers, before realising and forcing my hand into my pocket. “It’s shit isn’t it?”

Amelia’s eyes went very wide at my swearing in front of her and then she giggled nervously. “Yeah, it is.”

“But Sparkie knows you love him and he loves you back. He sees you for what you are: compassionate, kind, and trustworthy. That’s worth more than the opinions of some judgemental teenagers, who likely have some pretty big issues of their own, right?”

Amelia nodded slowly, a spark of defiance kindling in her eyes.

---