Page 70 of Fundamentals in Flirting

“Teddy, this is serious.”

All the colour drained from his face.

“What’s wrong with her?”

“Prepare yourself. I need to tell you something important that will change your life.” I paused for dramatic effect. “You’re going to be a daddy.”

“W-w-what?”

Teddy’s eyes turned huge.

“A goat daddy. Deidre’s not dying; she’s in labour.”

“Oh. Very funny, Hannah.” Loosing a shaky breath, he looked back where his hand was still smoothing the white coat on Deidre’s neck. “What should I do? Do you need hot water and towels? A midwife?”

I chuckled. “Some warm water and a towel would be great, but I reckon we can leave the midwife out of it.”

Teddy rushed away to get the water – little did he know it was just so I could wash my hands later – and I began to examine my patient more closely. The amniotic sack had burst and I quickly found a couple of little goat limbs and noses, jostling to get out into the world. With a little bit of manipulation, I worked out which limbs belonged to which snout and soon had the first little soggy bundle delivered. Clearing her little pink nose and giving her a rub with some clean straw to stimulate her breathing, I placed her under Deidre’s nose, and she immediately started licking and snuffling the new arrival, her delighted bleats matched only by the happy little sounds coming from her new baby.

Teddy arrived with about four bath towels under his arm and two huge buckets of steaming water. “Thank God I got the hot water working. Is this ok? Wow.”

He placed everything on the ground and crept over to where Deidre was busy with goat kid number one, and he watched in awe as the two animals softly snuffled at each other. Meanwhile, baby goat number two slipped out, again healthy and kicking, shaking his head and bleating loudly within minutes of landing in the straw. Quickly I placed him next to his slightly smaller sister, and Deidre delightedly started to fuss this one too.

“Twins?” Teddy whispered.

“Yes. Deidre’s done brilliantly.”

Checking for injuries and finding none at all, I stood up and helped myself to the warm water, washing off the inevitable slime and blood that accompanied all births. Then I sourced some more clean straw for fresh bedding for the new family, before sitting back and watching the miracle of life unfolding before me. This was the part that never ceased to be amazing, the magic and perfection of these tiny new beings who were already flexing their limbs, testing them and trying to stand. The love and dedication that Deidre showed as her instincts kicked in was beautiful and astounding, It was these special moments in my job that got me in the feels, every single time.

“Do we need to do anything else?” Teddy whispered.

“No, I think Deidre has it under control. I’ll pop back in the morning and check that she’s delivered all the afterbirth, but I think she’s done this before so we should just give them some space and let them get to know each other.”

“Do we need to wake Agnes up and tell her?”

“No. It’s pretty late so I think she’ll be ok to see them in the morning too.”

“Ok.” He hesitated before stepping back, unable to look away from the goats. “It’s amazing, isn’t it?”

“Yes, even after all the births I’ve seen, it never gets less incredible.”

Teddy turned to look at me, a soft light in his eyes.

“Thanks for coming and helping.”

“You’re welcome. And you didn’t even pass out at the blood. I’m impressed.”

“Well, I elected to stay away from the business end and let Deidre maintain some modesty.”

I laughed. “I reckon she appreciated your gentlemanly behaviour.”

Teddy smiled shyly and ducked his head, rubbing the back of his neck distractedly.

“Do you want a drink? I could really do with a drink.”

“A drink sounds great. Come on.” I picked up all the towels, handing him a few, and closed the shed door as we wandered slowly back towards the lights of The Rectory kitchen.

Inside, I slipped off my boots while Teddy got some glasses and poured a couple of fingers of whisky into each one. Whisky wasn’t my favourite, so in a practised move from my university days, I downed the lot in one and tried not to gag.

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