Page 65 of Fundamentals in Flirting

“Hey! I want to talk to you.”

“I have nothing to say to you, Mandy.”

“Why do you have to be such a bitch? You haven’t changed, have you?”

I faced her. She was a little taller than me, especially in the skyscraper heels she had on, but I was not going to be intimidated by her.

“Oh I definitely have changed, believe me. There’s no way I’m going to tolerate any of your bullshit tonight, that’s for sure.”

“Not a change for the better then.” Mandy pouted and narrowed her eyes at me. “I understand that you were jealous of me back in school, but I have a real chance with Teddy again now, so I’d appreciate it if you could back the hell off.”

Peeling her fingers off my wrist I stepped away.

“He’s all yours Mandy. I don’t want him.”

Lies, it was all lies.

But I couldn’t let this slide without trying to keep hold of some of my dignity. Not when I’d nearly snogged his face off twice in the last few weeks.

“Is that what you think? You thinkyouget to decide?” she sneered. “Someone likeyoudoesn’t get to choose someone likehim. You should be grateful he pities you enough to even bother talking to you.”

“Is that right?”

“Yes.”

“In which case, why do you need me to back off? I’m no threat to you.”

Mandy lurched at me, wagging her finger in my face.

“Because, you spotty-faced freak, he feels some sort of obligation to be nice to you and has done since we were teenagers. God knows, I don’t understand it, but it means that whenever you’re around he’s unable to go out and actually have some fun with someone who’s in his league … visually, if you get what I mean.”

“I’m reading you loud and clear.”

Ah, another blow to my fragile confidence. My ever-present brain gremlin nodded sagely.

Yes, settle yourself back in for the long haul of self-loathing, my old friend.

“You’re holding him back and you should just fuck off and let him be happy.”

“If that’s what you think, it must be true,” Betsy stepped out from around the side of the toilet trailer, an expression of pure fury on her face.

“Oh look. Your butch little sidekick come to dry your snivelling tears. You two are made for each other.”

Her expression was smug, self-satisfied, and eminently slappable. But I didn’t. I resisted, instead schooling my features into my best withering look and preparing to extricate myself before all my self-worth shrivelled away to nothing.

Contemptuously, Mandy checked her nails and carried on, “Maybe you should have been going after girls all along, Hannah.”

“I don’t understand your problem, I really don’t. We’re not at school anymore, and swanning about as the school bully is pathetic when you’re a teenager but downright fucking tragic when you’re in your thirties,” Betsy said, standing beside me in a show of solidarity, like she always had, picking me up each time I got knocked down like this by Mandy or anyone else.

“Bully? What are you talking about? Who the hell did I bully?” Mandy was petulant now.

“Hannah and Betsy by the look of things.” Teddy appeared from the shadows, his face like thunder, and Mandy visibly blanched, wobbling in her heels as she backed away.

“Teddy, I?—”

“Do you know what? Hannah always said you were a mean girl, and I didn’t know what she meant, but now I’ve seen your true colours for myself.”

“But—”

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