Page 56 of Fundamentals in Flirting

“One, two, three!” And with an almighty shove, he propelled me airborne and towards the hole above my head.

Grasping the rough wooden joists, I used all my strength to try and clamber through the hole with Teddy grunting below at my incessant wriggling. As I got my head and shoulders through, I attempted to lift myself up and onto the dining room floor, but I just wasn’t strong enough.

“Can you go any higher?” Teddy called out.

“No. Boost me again?”

“I can, but it would be better if I pushed you from higher up your body.”

“Like where?”

“There is a delectable-looking arse in my face. How about there?”

“In your face?” I replied in horror.

“I’m not complaining, but I reckon this would be over quicker if I pushed you from there.”

“Of course it would,” I muttered.

“We doing it then?”

“There’s really nowhere else?”

“There are plenty of places I can think to put my hands, but right now I think this would be the most effective launchpad to get you through that hole.”

“Fine.” I tensed in anticipation as he repositioned his large hands to snugly cup my backside, the warmth of his skin against mine where the jeans had ripped sending a ripple of heat through my whole body.

“You have a spectacular bum, Hannah.”

“Just bloody push it, will you?”

“Push it real good?” He sang, then chuckled at his own hilarity and 1980s Salt-N-Pepa reference, and I begrudgingly began to smile again. That tiny kernel of self-confidence that had been squashed before grew a little brighter for just a minute because of Teddy, because of his merciless flirting, before he steadily and skilfully shoved my entire body through the gap.

With more of my torso now out of the hole, I was able to drag myself up and onto the dining room floor, where I lay for a minute amidst the shafts of sunlight and the comforting, bookish smell of the house.

“I’ll see you at the cellar door in the back passage, Hannah. It’s the one next to the old servants’ staircase.”

“The back passage?”

“Honestly, get your mind out of the gutter. It’s what I call the corridor off the kitchen that leads to the utility room.”

“Right.” Unlike me at this point, he was able to think some non-arse-related things then.

Got it. Good.

Getting to my feet, I went through the house, marvelling as always at the glorious parquet floors and oak panelling that had been witness to at least a century of history. I inhaled deeply the glorious atmosphere that imbued every inch of the building, making it feel like a living, breathing thing and not just a house. In the kitchen, an old half-glazed door stood slightly ajar to the side of a huge pine dresser and, pushing it open, I entered a corridor of rooms joined together in a chain that skirted the back of the house. Next to a narrow spiral stone staircase stood another door with paint pots, sacks of plaster mix, and used tools wedged against it, and a hook and latch barring it from being opened from the other side. Lifting the items and stacking them carefully at the foot of the stairs, I cleared a path to the wooden door and unlatched the rickety metal catch, tugging the handle but it wouldn’t budge.

“Ted, are you there? The door’s clear now, but you’ll need to give it a shove from your side.”

“Righto,” came the muffled reply. With a grunt and the telltale screech of wood against stone, the door slowly opened towards me and Teddy emerged from the gloom with a wry smile. “What do you think of my back passage then?”

“Better than expected,” I replied and couldn’t help the bubbly little snort of laughter that erupted from my nose.

After we’d moved some new cabinets for the kitchen into the house from the garage, and I’d held various pieces of worktop and screws while Teddy worked, we eventually sat down for dinner, tired and distinctly grubby. I had to admit that Teddy was a rather excellent cook as I stuffed my own bodyweight of lasagne into my mouth, barely taking time to breathe between bites.

“I think you might have to roll me home,” I sighed, patting my belly and leaning back in my chair.

“Bribery with food is my top-tier flirting technique.”

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