Page 38 of Fundamentals in Flirting

“So how are you? Seems like you’re, ah, doing well for yourself?”

The undertone was there. His obvious sense of superiority fuelled by his perceived lack of my success.

Fists bunching the soft denim of my shorts, I took a steadying breath.

Don’t bow down to his fuckwittery, Hannah. Come on.

“What do you want?”

“I just thought I’d pop in and see you. It’s been a while.”

He smiled, sickeningly sweetly, and I scowled in return.

“You know, I’ve always thought you’d be much prettier if you smiled more.”

Murder is wrong, isn’t it? Even following that kind of smarmy comment.

“What. Do. You. Want,” I repeated, enunciating each word.

“A cup of tea would be very nice. Then perhaps we could have a little chat.”

“I don’t think we have anything to chat about.”

“How about we start with how much I’ve missed you?”

I must have been staring open-mouthed because Jonathan broke into a wide smile and walked over, taking the mug from my limp fingers.

“I’ll make the tea, shall I?”

Just having him here made it feel like my flat was sullied and dirty. He made the new life I had carved out for myself seem worthless, just another domain under his control. He busied himself in the tiny kitchen, finding teabags and another mug, humming softly, in a very pleased-with-himself way as the kettle boiled noisily. I had the irrational urge to spray everything he was touching with bleach.

“How did you find me?”

“I asked Georgina in the office if she had a forwarding address for you.” He raised his eyebrows. “You’re not as elusive as you thought. Fairly predictable, actually, heading home to your parents. I thought you might need someone to look after you when we broke up. Turns out I was right.”

I growled. Actually growled, like a feral animal. The answering smirk was almost unbearable. He knew he was getting under my skin. He knew the buttons to press in order to really rile me up. I couldn’t even see an inkling of the charm and sophistication that had drawn me to him in the beginning.

“Come now, darling, we were so good together. I messed up, and I’m sorry.”

“Sorry I found out, you mean,” I muttered.

“No, I know it was a mistake – the worst of my life – and I’m here to try and make things right.”

“Right?”

“To convince you to give me another chance.”

In the periphery of my consciousness I was aware of the sound of footsteps bounding up the stairs, then a deep voice shouted through the door, “I really hope you’re naked in there, Hannah, because I’m coming in.”

Teddy appeared in the doorway, larger than life, in his dirty work clothes, like a white knight in plaster-soiled armour, charging up the tower to save me from the evil clutches of the wicked wizard. Relief at him being here engulfed me and I beamed at him, so utterly grateful for his presence in this moment.

Teddy’s returning smile was radiant. “Loving the pink towel turban. It’s a good look, although I’m sad you didn’t wait for me before you showered. I was really hoping we could have shared one – you know, just to save water, obviously.”

His comedy eyebrow waggle was halted mid-rise, as he clocked Jonathan in the kitchen area, two steaming mugs in his hands.

The change in the two men was tangible. Teddy grew taller, his posture stiffening. He seemed, all of a sudden, more rugged and confident, while Jonathan’s response was to increase the levels of smugness to epic proportions, self-assurance coming off him in waves.

“I didn’t realise you had workmen coming in, Hannah.” Jonathan said, moving closer as he handed me a cup of tea, which I promptly put down on the table and then stepped away, bumping against the armchair as I desperately sought personal space.

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