Page 106 of Fundamentals in Flirting

“You don’t?”

“No, I don’t. You may think you’re the black sheep of the Fraser family, but I don’t agree. If anything, you might be a grey sort of sheep, but definitely not just your average run-of-the-mill white sheep.”

“Grey though?”

“A Herdwick, perhaps. Quite rare and imperfectly perfect.”

“I see. Thank you … I think.”

Giving him another squeeze, I leant up and whispered in his ear, “Teddy, it’s fine just to be you, and not compare yourself with anyone else. I mean, if I can love you for all your bits, then everyone else will, right?”

“All my bits?”

“Yeah, the uncertain bits, the funny bits, the silly bits, the sexy bits. They’re all reallynice.”

Spinning me around to face him, he tucked a lock of hair behind my ear, fingertips lingering over my cheek.

“Do you know what? Being loved by a prickly little hedgehog definitely has its advantages.”

“It definitely does. You’d better not forget it.”

“I won’t, and I’m going to continue to love you, and all your bits, even your glorious spikiness, until we’re old grey sheep together.”

“Then we’re in agreement?”

“Yes. A devout plan of being a bit kinder to ourselves, first and foremost?” He smiled.

“All right.”

“And I’m sorry that my own stupidity nearly caused me to lose you and my brother.”

“Yeah, don’t be doing that again, ok?”

“I won’t be doing that again.” He pulled me against his chest and curled his arms around in a protective vice. “Because you’re the only person who sees the real me, with no expectations to be anyone else.” He kissed my forehead, a lingering gentle brush of his lips over my skin. “And you were right too, you know.”

“I often am, but please enlighten me?”

With a chuckle, he said, “I too yearned for the love that Henry and Clara have, but I didn’t want to admit it. Although, I’m pretty certain that what we have is actually better, so there’ll be no more comparisons.” There was a pause, while I breathed him in – his scent, his warmth, his love. “Henry once said that he and Clara were made just for one another, and I completely took the piss out of him at the time, but now I understand what he meant. Because, Hannah, you were made just for me.”

He was right, of course, and I felt exactly the same way. It was annoying to admit it, granted, but I was going to have to get used to him being right about stuff. Because, while it was true that I allowed him to be himself, that I loved him for every imperfection and relished the vulnerability and awkwardness he held inside, it was his effect on me that was far more profound. His acceptance of my spikiness without judgement meant the world, and his innate ability to somehow turn my barbs to jelly protected me from hurting myself and other people in the process. I felt surprisingly secure that he truly accepted me for who I was, unequivocally. Unashamedly. Prickles and freckles and all.

Some might say that he had liberated my inner marshmallow hedgehog and showed me how to be a bit nicer all round. Had he? Yeah, probably.

And I bloody well adored him for it.

Epilogue

It was shady in the treeline, and much cooler than being out in the full sun. The freckled skin on my shoulders was already pink and protesting, despite the factor fifty I’d slapped on. To my right was an unobstructed view of the Cotswolds laid out in glorious technicolour – rolling hills that were luscious and green, and a patchwork of manicured farmland as far as the eye could see. Insects buzzed lazily around us, and there was the drone of tractors and balers in the distance and the smell of cut hay providing a quintessentially English country backdrop to the day.

As my body swayed in time with Pluto’s steady hoofbeats, an unfamiliar fluffy contentment settled in my chest, like I was being filled to the brim with sickly sweet candy floss. Things were slotting into place, my life having taken such a different trajectory in recent months. The absence of feeling like I was always on the brink of disaster was taking some getting used to. Teddy and I had discussed our future at length: he was supportive of me moving to Bristol and had even offered to try and set up an architectural practice there, but for me it felt like a backwards step to return, so I’d rescinded my request for an interview. In a quirk of fate, a job offer from a local equine referral practice had come through just a few weeks ago, a part-time research position created just for me, which allowed me to stay on as a partner with Giles and build up the practice, yet still fulfil some of my academic yearning. I’d read and re-read the terms of the offer, certain there was a catch somewhere, but it really was as perfect as it could possibly be.

Teddy had been keen that I move into The Old Rectory straight away, but I’d resisted for a while to check he was sincere. Newsflash, he was. And since me moving out of the flat freed up space for a new vet to start at the practice, it did make sense. But when I’d locked my old front door behind me for the last time, and entered The Old Rectory as my new home, a bubble of anxiety and distrust had set my jangly nerves on edge, as I waited for this perfect façade to crumble away to dust. In fact, I’d kept an overnight bag with essentials packed and ready to go, just in case I needed to make a speedy getaway. That was, until last night, when Teddy had found it under the bed, packed a case of his own, and placed them both by the front door, asking casually over dinner if we were going away anywhere nice on a mini-break.

Holding my hands gently, he’d said, “I’m with you, always and forever, but if you feel you need to run away, give me a chance to get my stuff together first, because I’ll gladly go anywhere you want.”

Pluto flicked an ear to the left in brief acknowledgement of something crashing about in the woods next to us. Picking up the loose rein from his neck, I leant forward. “Come on, fella, let’s beat his sorry arse.”

Striking into a canter, we set a blistering pace across the edge of the field, aiming for a dip and a small break in the trees ahead, all the while conscious of a brightly coloured shape zipping between the trunks alongside us at an alarming speed. As I urged the horse on, a broad grin stretched over my face, the wind whipping exhilarated laughter from my lips, cast away and lost into the turbulent air behind us.

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