Page 29 of Fundamentals in Flirting

“A goat?”

“Yes. Latin nameSheepimus Devilius.” I sniggered, proud of my own joke.

“Very funny. How was I supposed to know there was a goat in my shed?” He looked back down at the animal. “Whyis there a goat in my shed?”

“I don’t know, but you could just step around it and come out?”

Teddy glanced up at me and shook his head, all his usual swagger and bravado gone.

“You can do it, Ted. I promise the goat won’t hurt you.”

He shook his head again.

With a long sigh, I entered the building, climbing over a rickety gate and walking towards the goat, gently using my knee to push her away. I held my hand out to Teddy, who grabbed it with both of his like I was a life raft in a stormy sea, gripping on so tightly that my metacarpals screamed in protest.

The goat bleated again and Teddy jumped, scooting around and placing my much smaller body between him and the object of his fear. He pressed himself firmly against me, his fingers now digging painfully into the tops of my arms, while the goat pottered about haphazardly for a moment, bumping into the wall and bleating mournfully.

“Let’s get out of here,” Teddy whispered in my ear, his towering frame folding around mine from behind.

“There’s something not right about that goat. I think we should check it out,” I said over my shoulder.

“No, we should leave and shut the door,” Teddy insisted, tugging me back towards the exit.

“No, we should mend the broken gate and check that the goat is ok,” I said, shaking myself free of his grasp.

Teddy grumbled something incoherent, which sounded a bit like “Let sleeping devil sheep lie”, but I chose to ignore it and stepped further into the pen. The goat was fairly elderly by the look of it, and her eyes were coated with a milky film. She seemed unsure and bewildered, and when I waved my hand in front of her face there was no response.

“She’s blind,” I murmured.

“Blind?” Teddy repeated.

“Yes, I think she was following the sound of your panicky, maidenly screams and accidentally broke the gate. I think she was frightened and disoriented. I don’t think she charged at you on purpose.”

“Oh.”

Teddy had edged closer, still behind me though, with the air of someone ready to flee. I knelt down and gently started to scratch the top of the goat’s head, crooning quiet words to her, and she leant into my touch.

“See, she’s a softy. There was absolutely no need for such a hulking great big idiot like you to be frightened of a lovely little goat like this, now was there, Ted?”

Grumbling, he crouched next to me on the balls of his feet, tentatively reaching out to touch the soft, curly fleece of the goat.

“I think I may already have mentioned thatidiotis not a term we use when we’re beingniceto people, Hannah.”

I glanced sideways at him with a smirk, meeting his slightly less terrified gaze, and he begrudgingly smiled back at me.

“Maybe not, Ted, butidiotis definitely the right term to use for a grown man who’s frightened of a blind old goat.”

“I’ll definitely be putting all this in my report to Giles.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.” Then, in a sarcastic voice, I said, “What a vewy, vewy bwave boy you are, Teddy.”

“You’re not anywhere nearer to being less prickly, just so you know.”

“I gave up my Sunday morning to rescue you from a devil sheep. A little gratitude wouldn’t go amiss.”

“Fine. Thank you. You’re my hero.”

“You’re welcome. Now, let’s fix this gate, check she’s got food and water, and then maybe find out who owns her.”

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