Page 2 of Fundamentals in Flirting

But I pulled it away. “Why? You’ll be missed inside and there are plenty of other girls who’d welcome some attention from you.”

“I don’t want to kiss anyone in there,” he said, angling his head towards the rugby club main building. “I want to kiss you. Again. Please stay.”

“Why me?”

Why me, indeed. I was a million miles away from anything special. In fact, my bell-bottom jeans and baggy T-shirt were a far cry from everyone else’s fancy dresses and figure-hugging outfits. Looking away, I let the curtain of my long strawberry-blonde hair fall across my cheek, hiding me from view. It was a shield against the world, a distraction from my flawed and imperfect face. A face I struggled even to look at in the mirror most days. A face that had left me wide open to ridicule from my classmates. A face that I despised. Perfection – that’s what everyone strived for. Symmetrical features, clear skin, tanned and gorgeous. Just like Teddy Fraser.

“Because as infuriating as you are, I like you, Hannah,” Teddy said. Then, turning his face away, he whispered so softly that I could barely hear him, “And you’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen.”

It was so quiet, in fact, that I was left wondering if I’d made it up, merely manifesting my subconscious yearning for someone to say those things to me. But really knowing that no one ever would. Well, not say it and really mean it. I was cursed with the looks that I had, and surely it was better to focus on my brains and ability, to get by without being the pretty one. God knows I was reminded of this fact every day by the popular girls in my year. I knew I should embrace my geekiness because I was on much safer ground there.

The doors of the clubhouse opened and Teddy’s brother, Henry, appeared, stopping short from walking over to us.

“Ted, are you coming back in?” he called over, hands in his pockets, looking away to give us some privacy, I supposed.

“Yeah, yeah, in a minute,” Teddy shouted back before glancing at me again and smiling. “Goddamn geek hates being the centre of attention. He just wants me to take the flack for him.”

My heart hurt at the insult. Being a geek was what I was good at, and here he was, ridiculing it. Balling my fists, I went to follow Henry back inside.

“Right, us geeks should just hide away in the corner, shouldn’t we?” I replied, purposefully allowing a sharpness to creep into my voice.

“Wait, Hannah, please,” Teddy muttered, taking hold of my hand and not letting me pull away this time.

“What is it?”

“About tonight … I just wondered, well, if maybe you’d … or if we could…” His voice drifted off as a gaggle of girls appeared around the corner of the building, lit cigarettes in their hands. Mandy Shaw – gymnast, beautiful elite, sociology student, my tormentor and least favourite person at school – was heading up the group and making a beeline for us.

“What, Ted? What do you want me to do? Keep quiet about what just happened?” I whispered acerbically.

“What? Well, er…” he stuttered, getting more and more uncomfortable as the gang of girls approached, the curious slant of their heads indicating that they had seen us and were wholly intent on finding out what was going on.

“Listen, don’t worry. I’m not going to tell anyone. It’s not like I’m proud of myself either.” I hissed, “I know what this was – a drunken snog, a mistake. I’m not expecting you to announce that we’re boyfriend and girlfriend. I know better than to expect anything chivalrous from you, Teddy Fraser. It’s not like you’re Henry, is it?”

The air around us turned frigid in an instant, Teddy’s demeanour shifting, defensive and something else … hurt, perhaps?

“No. I’m definitely not Henry,” he practically growled at me, dropping my hand as if my touch was burning his skin, and stepping away.

“No, you’re not,” I said, equally tersely.

In the soft glow of lamplight, we glared at each other, just as Mandy neared.

“Teddy,” she whined, “what are you doing here with her?”

“Nothing,” we both said at once, and Mandy looked sceptically between us.

“Chatting about the extra maths revision sessions he needs,” I added sourly and Teddy snorted in disbelief.

“You’re such a weird fucking loser, Hannah. Why on earth would Teddy want to talk maths revision at his eighteenth birthday party?” Mandy laughed unkindly. In my mind I had a dartboard with her face on it, and I took great pleasure in mentally lobbing pointy implements at it, with alarming regularity. And now was no exception.

I shrugged. “He needs some help with the fundamentals,” I answered evenly, stalking away from this group of teenage arseholes that I was most definitely going to leave behind in a few months’ time. And never think of ever again.

ChapterTwo

Fifteen years later

Iangled my head in a different direction to see if this made the sight in front of me any easier to comprehend. Nope. There were still too many legs peeking out from under the covers of the bed, too many bodies writhing about beneath the duvet, accompanied by the distinct grunting, gasping sound that Jonathan made when he was getting really close to climaxing.

It was difficult to know what to do. My awkward British sensibilities made me want to back out of the room, close the door quietly, and pretend I’d never seen this. I wanted to make a strong cup of tea and have a sit down. Maybe even eat a whole packet of bourbon biscuits and have a little cry.

---