Page 12 of Whispered Southern Secrets

“You’re right. That bitch isn’t going to heaven.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“I bet Satan doesn’t even want her. Where do the ones that neither side wants?”

“Whoa!” I put my hands together to signal ‘Time Out.’ “You’re upset. You’re feelings and emotions are valid. But instead of condemning something to death and burning in hell for all eternally, because that’s a little extreme, let’s talk about it. Pray on it.”

Honey purses her lips together. “I don’t know if I should pray to God what I’m thinking.”

“He already knows.”

“He does… He does! So He knows the circumstances and I’m not one hundred percent certain on this, but I feel like He knows she’s the problem.”

Admittedly, I feel protective of Honey. The snarky judgmental comment was out of line. Completely uncalled for. However, it’s not my place to condemn. I don’t want Honey to allow those negative thoughts to consume her. She’s too beautiful a person to allow such hate to stain her soul. There’s no need to wish death, even if it’s in a joking manner. There’s a brief silence of me allowing her to calm down. I ignore the impulse to hold her. Any other member of the church I would’ve offered physical touch in a moment of comfort. But I don’t trust myself with Honey. Even if the hug didn’t lead to anything, it couldnever be completely harmless, because I’d enjoy too much. This pull between us… Does she still feel the attraction?

Who was I to her? A past mistake? I’m not her preacher, that’s for sure. I’d like to be. Help her in any way I can. Right now, I’m going to help ease her anger, be patient, and offer comfort. I’m going to do what I’ve been called to do. I’m going to minister Honey.

“In the book of James, I can’t remember exactly where it is, but it reads, ‘But the tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison.’ And I take that to mean, people underestimate how powerful words are. We have the ability to make people feel loved or cursed. But people lash out in anger. Makes you wonder if we even have full control over that part of our body?”

“If the tongue is evil and full poison, what does that say about a preacher? You use your words. Your tongue.”

She knows quite a bit about my tongue. But I push that thought away and inhale a deep breath. It shouldn’t be a challenge to offer her the comfort and affection that with anyone else I’d give freely. We have a history. We have an attraction. But that shouldn’t matter in ministry.

“Now this verse I do remember where to find it. Proverbs 15:1.A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh words stirs up anger.”

“Are you trying to say if I’d said something sweet in response it would’ve changed her impression of me?”

“I’m saying anger only fuels more anger. Hate leads to more hate. And only pain comes from it. But kind words can slowly quell that burning rage. It can subdue their anger. More than anything, they don’t hurt them or your soul. Because let’s be honest, nobody feels better after saying hurtful things. It drains our energy rather than renews our spirit.”

She’s quiet. Lost in her own thoughts. I decide not to push the issue. “I’m going to get going. I’ll hopefully see you, Sunday.”

As I place my hand on the door, Honey’s soft voice stops me. “Thank you for taking the time to calm me down. I guess I shouldn’t let people get to me.” The faintest hint of a smile teases on her lips.

“You’re welcome. You have a blessed day, darlin’.”

Chapter Six

Honey

I’m not attracted to the preacher. I’m not attracted to the preacher.I am in no way actually feeling attraction to the man standing at the podium.It would be preposterous. Okay, fine. I am and it’s a mistake and I need to figure out a way to end these pesky feelings. I look up to the cross hanging in our church and silently pray.

God. You and I both know what’s happening here. I’m not sure why you’re testing everyone in here with a pulse by having your most gorgeous creation stand before us and expect us to remain pure in thought. I would like to take this moment to say bravo on the craftsmanship. He truly is a work of art. Henry Cavill is your best work, in my humble opinion, but he’s on up there. I need strength. I’m trying to be the granddaughter Mimi and Pepaw deserve. I know the one-night stand was wrong. Believe me, it will never happen again. Lesson learned. Please now let me find this man less attractive. I know you have bigger issues, and you know what… never mind. There are so many worse things happening in the world. Sorry. I’m sorry. I’m wasting your time. Thank you for all my blessings. Thank you for Mimi and Pepaw. Thank you for my health.

“Honey,” Mimi whispers.

I stop praying and open my eyes to my grandmother. “I’m sorry. Yes?”

“We’re standing up to sing the hymn, sweetheart. I was worried you’d fallen asleep.”

“No, I was praying.”

I take the hymnal and stand. Mimi leans closer to me. “That was a long prayer. You okay?”

“Not even close. But I will be.”

Mrs. Jinny must be having trouble with her fingers because she starts to play but stops and begins massaging her hands. J.D. doesn’t hesitate. He slides on to the bench next to his mama and begins playing with her. The moment warms my heart. A man who loves his mother so much can’t be bad. Then again, didn’t Norman Bates adore his mother? I’ve been wrong about men before. I lack good judgment when it comes to the male species. Yet I know—I know—J.D. is a good one. He’s sharing the piano bench with his mother so she can still play a few notes to keep doing what she loves.

I’ve been viewing him with so much prejudice. It’s been three years and we’ve both gone through some changes in that time. Plus, J.D. was right. I needed to let go of my anger. I’m always on guard with everyone. Even when I’m pretending that I’m happy and everything’s fine. It’s not fine. And it won’t be until I let go. J.D. told me to let go and give it to God. I look up to the ceiling again. Doesn’t seem fair to pass this mess onto to anyone. I know He can handle it but why should He have to? All the signs were there before I got myself into this, so I need to own it and work through it.

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