Page 13 of Whispered Southern Secrets

I’m easily angered because I’m insecure about having gone through a divorce so young, and knowing I went into that marriage when there were enough red flags to sail the seas—yet I thought I could play captain. The church my parents attendflat out disowned me. The sign that saysAll Are Welcome,apparently it’s for decoration and doesn’t mean literally all. They told me if I wasn’t going to “do the right thing and save my marriage,” then not to return. My parents still attend. Mimi wasn’t appalled and told me to get to Magnolia Grove. I put off coming here for a long time. I wanted the divorce to be final and no loose ends. Then I didn’t want to put Mimi and Pepaw in any uncomfortable situations. Like what I experienced with Mrs. Lamshire.

Speaking of, I watch as at the end of service she approaches J.D. with a pretty brunette. J.D. smiles and shakes their hands. God really did go all out for him. He was so handsome.Sohandsome. I start to look away but then all three heads turn to me. Mrs. Lamshire and Peggy begin walking toward me. Mimi is on one side of me and there’s people blocking the other side of me. Looks like I have no choice but to jump over this pew.

“Honey, you look as pretty as picture.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Lamshire.” I’m already on edge. She’s being… nice. It’s disturbing.

Mrs. Lamshire looks over her shoulder and then back to me. “I realize my comment was out of line.”

Mimi’s brows furrow. “What comment?”

“That’s quit all right, Mrs. Lamshire. I’ll see you ladies later.”

“Well would you mind, dear, letting Brother Johnny David know how this conversation went?”

Mimi holds up a finger. “Excuse me, would someone mind cluing in an old lady?”

Mrs. Lamshire makes a show of mock horror, “Oh Minnie dear. You’re not old. Gracious no.”

I fight the urge to roll my eyes. Mimi isn’t convinced either. “Flattery will get you nowhere with me. What is this comment business that required you to apologize?”

“She’s not required to apologize.” I say.

Peggy bites her bottom lip and then says. “Brother Johnny David did strongly encourage it. And she’s trying to get on his good side.”

“And what did you say, Mrs. Lamshire?” Mimi’s voice is still sweet, but there’s a firm edge to it.

“I was defending you.” Mrs. Lamshire holds her hands out. “She was being rude to Brother Johnny David. Rushing him off while we were speaking. Then pretended to care about you being upset if the food wasn’t hot enough. Never mind you devoted your life to your daughter. Then she moved off with that man.”

“Her husband,” I grumble.

“And now here this one, you devoted your life to her, and just like her mother she married the first guy her gave her a compliment. I know you begged her not to. She left and married him anyway, only to have it blow up and then come crawling back with her tail between her legs. You and Millard are good people. Y’all don’t deserve the ungratefulness of your daughter and now granddaughter.”

I raise a hand. “All good points. But he wasn’t the first guy to give me a compliment. I counted to ten before settling.”

Mimi’s bottom lip trembles. “Mrs. Lamshire. I’m going to walk away before I say something I can’t take back.”

“Let’s go, Mimi. It’s okay. She apologized.”

Pepaw and I guide Mimi toward the double doors at the front of the church. Except we don’t make it more than three steps. Mimi nods, turning suddenly, and charging toward Mrs. Lamshire, “You know what? The good Lord already knows exactly what I’m a’ thinkin’ and I know I will regret walkin’ off and allowing you to speak so cruelly about my grandbaby.”

Mimi advanced on Mrs. Lamshire before anyone could react, but at the same time it all happened in slow motion. She takes the brown leather handle of her purse and twists her body in a more perfect stance than a professional baseball player. Sheswings the purse and it connects with Mrs. Lamshire’s shoulder. Gasps are heard all around. Pepaw snickers as he tries to guide Mimi away.

“I’m a’ goin’ now.” Mimi straightens her shoulders back.

“It’s not our place to caste judgment.” Pepaw affectionally pats Mimi’s shoulders before giving them a gentle squeeze.

“No, it’s not. That’s true. But God’s so busy. Thought I’d give a hand.”

“You’re always eager to offer a helping hand,” I say fighting back a smile.

Pepaw, Peggy, and Mrs. Lamshire all turn to give me a stern look. I shrug because it’s the truth.

We get Mimi home and go sit on the back porch that overlooks the river. My worst fear of Mimi defending me came to be. Mimi still swears she doesn’t regret it for a single minute, and that if anyone should be ashamed it should be Mrs. High and Mighty Lamshire.

“So church pot lucks are going to be more awkward,” I tell Mimi and Pepaw as I hand each of them a glass of iced lemonade.

“No. We’ll move forward. You don’t worry about it, Honey. This isn’t the first time Mrs. Lamshire and I have had a spat. And knowing her, and that mouth of hers, it won’t be the last.”

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