Page 37 of Cabin Fever With My First Flame

Daniel holds his hands out, pleading. “You were more than good enough for me! It was me that was never good enough for you! I messed up big time, Bailey! From the beginning, our relationship was built on lies—lies that I told. All I wanted was for you to be mine, but the guilt at what I had done was eating away at me! I couldn’t stand to look at myself in the mirror anymore, but instead of coming to you with the truth, I sought solace elsewhere. For that, I am truly sorry. You never deserved what I did. I didn’t know it then because I was young and selfish, but Finn was the better man. He always has been.”

“Are you here to ask for a second chance?” I ask bluntly.

He holds up his hands in surrender and shakes his head. “I’m here to see the girls and to ask for your forgiveness. I never should have lied. I never should have cheated. And I never should have done those despicable things. But the one thing that is true and always will be is that I love our girls with every ounce of my being. I realized that I haven’t told them that enough, and the only way to make that right is to be there for them moving forward.”

I eye him skeptically. I know when Daniel is hiding something. “Is that all?”

Daniel steps back and runs a hand through his hair. “I do want to see our girls, Bailey. That is if you’ll let me. I’d like to spend Christmas with them while I’m here and tell them I love them.”

My anger dissipates. “I’ll never stop you from spending time with our girls, Daniel. They love you no matter what. Come over tomorrow morning at eight, and I’ll ensure they’re up. Where are you staying, and for how long?”

He grimaces. “I was hoping to stay here since my parents’ home is buried in snow, but I’ll be leaving tomorrow to arrange my belongings to be moved to their final destination.”

“And where might that be?” I ask.

He hooks a thumb over his shoulder in the direction of his childhood home about five doors down from ours. “Here, in Lake George. My father is going to have me take over his accounting practice so that he and my mom can stay in South Carolina full-time, and they’ll let me live in their house.”

Oh, you have got to be kidding me! Daniel plans on coming home for a fresh start! Doesn’t he know that I have the monopoly on that sort of thing?

I point toward the front door. “I can’t deal with this right now. Please go inside and spend time with our daughters since that’s why you’re here. I need time to think, and I’ll make up a bed for you when I get back.”

His eyebrows raise in surprise. “Aren’t you coming in?”

“Not right now. I’m going to go for a much-needed walk.” I zip up my coat so that it covers my mouth and put my hands in my jacket pockets. Having fallen several times already, I think better of it and let my arms hang loose. I’ll need them for stabilization purposes—of that, I have no doubt.

I wait for Daniel to go inside before heading in Finn’s direction. It takes me nearly half an hour to go the six blocks,but I use the time to think about Finn and his kind heart. Daniel didn’t even bother to help me up, yet Finn never wanted to leave my side. Despite Finn’s belief I had wronged him, he didn’t hesitate to rescue us and make us feel like we belonged.

The only reason Finn left me tonight was to give me the space he thought I needed. At the time, I wanted him to stay with me while I spoke with Daniel because I thought I might need him for support. But Finn believed I had the strength to handle the situation and trusted me to do so. If I had begged him to stay, I know he would have.

I had no idea that coming home would provide me with closure from past hurts and a pathway to forgiveness. I had no idea that a fresh start might include a second chance to get things right. I thought that if I were to ever cross paths with Finn, we were certainly going to be enemies. Okay, “enemies” isn’t the right word because other than the one mistake that ultimately ended us, we almost never argued. But I definitely didn’t consider the notion of us becoming friends again a possibility. Ella probably would have called us “frenemies.”

The more I think about Finn and how God placed him in our path at precisely the right time and place when we needed help, the clearer my decision becomes. Finn and I were brought together for a reason, and I would be a fool to question His plan for me—for us.

I desperately want to cross the street and knock on the door to share my feelings and declare my intentions, but something in my gut stops me. Maybe it’s the fact all the lights are out or that Daniel is staying in our home and spending Christmas with our girls. Regardless of the reason, I can’t ignore the nagging feeling that I need to wait.

After wandering around the town and doing some soul-searching, I finally come full circle and arrive at my childhoodhome. My mom is waiting up for me. “Where is everyone?” I ask as I hang up my coat and remove my boots.

She pats the seat next to her, gesturing for me to sit. “You were gone for three hours, Bailey. Everyone is asleep, so it’s just you and me. I stayed up because I thought you might want to talk.”

I told her the reason behind Daniel’s arrival and that he would be leaving tomorrow so that he could move here. She nods and says, “I wondered if he would ever see the light and get his priorities straight, but he took you up on your advice and doted on the girls while you were gone. It’s an answered prayer. However, I don’t think he took it well when the girls couldn’t stop talking about Finn and his nephews.”

Ella tiptoes down the stairs, but the creak of the last step gives her away. She comes over and snuggles herself in between my mom and me. She grins. “In all fairness, Dad did ask what it was like being trapped in a cabin. All we did was tell him the truth.” Ella leans her head on my shoulder. “Are you going to get back together with Dad? Is that why he’s really here?”

I gently stroke her hair. “No, Baby, I’m not. That’s not why he’s here. He’s here for you, Mia, and Ava. He wants to have a relationship with you and is doing the right thing.” As much as it might be awkward having Daniel down the street, at least working out visitation isn’t going to be an issue.

“How are you okay with this? How can you forgive him so easily?” Ella asks. My mom raises her eyebrow at me, wondering how I’m going to tackle this one.

“It’s not easy, Ella, but if I don’t, I’ll harbor a resentment that will eat away at me. Forgiveness isn’t about just saying the words; it’s a state of the heart. That means that I have to forgive over and over again until I don’t have to remind myself to do it. I loved your father, and a part of me always will. That love just isn’t the romantic kind of love anymore.”

“Do you still love Finn in the romantic sense?” she asks.

I smirk. “Finn was my first love, Ella. There will always be a special connection between us. Could I love him in that way again? The answer is a resounding ‘Yes!’”

“Then you need to show him with a grand gesture, and I know just what you should do.” Ella rubs her hands together and lays out her plan. I have to admit, it’s a good one.

The following day is a frenzy of activity as the girls open their presents and the adults sit around and bask in their joy. Daniel has his bags packed and sitting by the door, but he stays long enough to have breakfast with us and spend more time with our daughters.

“A Barbie Jeep!” Ava shouts after tearing through the paper of her last gift. “God answered my letter! Wahoo! Thank you!”

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