Page 28 of Cabin Fever With My First Flame

Micah chases after me and stops me at the edge of the landing. He lowers his voice, “But you want more, right?”

I nod. “I’ve told Bailey that I’ll wait until she’s ready. She has a lot on her plate right now, and she needs a friend more than she needs a romantic relationship. The ball is in her court. She knows where I stand.”

Micah rests his hand on my shoulder. “Finn. Finn. Finn. You’re going to get friend-zoned if you go in with that attitude. You need to give her a taste of what she’ll be missing out on. Have you kissed her yet?”

I’m not about to divulge any details about our kiss in the basement, but it was enough for Bailey to understand that my feelings for her aren’t purely platonic. “Yes, but that doesn’t change the circumstances.”

Micah rubs his chin thoughtfully. “Hmm.”

“‘Hmm,’ nothing, Micah. You got your wish and brought Bailey and me together, even if it wasn’t how you expected. Let’s leave well enough alone and let the relationship progress naturally. If it’s meant to be more, then it will be. Now, go get a shower, and then meet me downstairs.”

As we amble down the steps, Micah grumbles, “Sometimes even nature needs a helping hand.”

I let the comment go and continue toward the mudroom in the basement, having to pass by the kitchen on my way. Bailey smiles, and her shoulders slump in relief when she sees me. “I was starting to get worried about you two. You guys were out there a long time.”

“There was a ton of snow to clear, and even then, we only managed to clear enough to get the ATVs. Thankfully, I had already installed the snow track conversion kits. Otherwise, I’d still be out there for another few hours. They’re parked out back under the balcony.”

Bailey walks over to one of the windows facing the back of the house, and she grimaces. “Are you planning on taking us to town tonight?”

When Micah mentioned that it wouldn’t be safe to travel tonight, he wasn’t wrong. However, I knew that his motivation for not leaving right away had nothing to do with safety and everything to do with keeping Bailey and the girls here a little longer. “We can if you absolutely need to go, but tomorrow after breakfast would be better. My only concern is not knowing how much of a lull we have between storms.”

She wraps her arms around her delicate frame and slowly heads in my direction. “It’s a concern of mine as well, and I know my parents are giddy with excitement for our pending arrival. They haven’t seen the girls in over a year. However, I like the idea of waiting until morning when everyone is well-rested, fed, and can see where they’re going. It’ll give me the warm fuzzies.”

“I like warm fuzzies,” Jonah says. “They keep my toes from getting cold. Besides, you can’t leave until we open up the envelopes.”

Bailey gives him a noogie on his noggin. “We wouldn’t miss it for the world. Jesus is the reason for the season, after all, and I absolutely love that you write letters to Him instead of Santa.”

Isaac’s upper lip curls. “My mom would say that ‘Jesus is the reason foreveryseason.’ She never taught us to believe in Santa Claus. Bailey, do you believe in Santa?”

“I don’t, but I used to when I was Ava’s age,” she admits. “It was very disappointing to learn that Santa isn’t real. It’s why I never taught my girls to believe in him. I wanted them to know that I would always tell them the truth, no matter what.”

Jonah grins. “Our mom said the same thing. If she taught us to believe in Jesus and Santa, and then we learn Santa isn’t real, she was afraid we would question if Jesus was real, too.”

I dip my chin toward the pile of snowsuits in my hand that are getting heavy. “I’m going to hang these up to dry and then warm up with a quick shower.” Bailey waves me away as she continues her engaging conversation with the twins.

While downstairs in the basement area, I reflect on a conversation between Jenny and Bailey when my sister was home from college for the holiday break in my senior year. They discussed the merits of whether or not teaching kids to believe in Santa was a good or bad thing. I remember my sister saying,“I don’t begrudge the families that teach their kids about Santa Claus—to each their own. Personally, I don’t want to deal with the fallout, and I don’t think it’s going to ruin the holiday if my children don’t believe in a mythical being.”

Bailey had asked her,“Then how will you explain why there are presents under the tree?”

Jenny had laughed.“That’s easy. What do you give when it’s someone’s birthday? A present, right? I’ll just tell my kids that we exchange presents because it’s a party for Jesus’ birthday. Look, Bailey. When you and Finn get married and have kids of your own, it will be up to the two of you to decide what to teach your kids and what you want them to believe in. Regardless of what you decide, I’ll still love you.”

It’s evident that my sister had an impact on Bailey, considering that Bailey took her advice to heart. Jenny loved Bailey like a sister and had urged me to fight for her. Jenny hadn’t believed for one second that Bailey had betrayed me but respected me enough to refrain from discussing or pursuing it any further. It wasn’t until Jenny was near her end that she finally spoke up.

“Finn, you know I love you, right?”I held her hand and nodded, waiting for her to continue. Whenever she started off a sentence with that particular question, what she liked to call ‘constructive criticism’ often followed.“You have spent yourentire adult life pining after Bailey because you let pride get in your way. I know that you still love her, but brother of mine, you need to make things right so that you can move on. You need closure.”

“Bailey is happy, and the last thing I want to do is drudge up the past, Jenny,”

Jenny laughed and then groaned in pain because her Leukemia made it painful to breathe.“I’m happy when I have a scoop of salted caramel ice cream, but that doesn’t mean it’s good for me. All I’m sayin’ is that God may provide you an opportunity to set the record straight, Finn. When He does, don’t waste it.”

I had no idea what she meant at the time, but I do now. Jenny must have heard the rumors through the Lake George grapevine but was kind enough to keep them from me. I’m surprised that no one else in town has mentioned anything in the three months that I’ve been back.

I go upstairs to take a shower and see the walkie-talkie on my nightstand. I switch to the private frequency for the Chief and squawk, “Zimmerman, this is Hollister. Over.”

It takes a few seconds, but the Chief responds. “This is Zimmerman. I read you loud and clear. How are you all holding up.”

“We’re good. I’ll be bringing Bailey and the girls home tomorrow morning. Can you pass on the message to the McNamaras?”

“Sure. Sure. That should give you plenty of time to return before the next storm hits. Christmas is supposed to be white-out conditions, and the storm is supposed to gift us with two to three more feet of snow.”

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