Page 24 of Cabin Fever With My First Flame

“Ava doesn’t snuggle up with just anyone, Finn. She snuggles up with people shelovesand trusts.”

“I’m trying to see how that’s a problem, Bailey. Isn’t it a good thing that Ava doesn’t think I’m a serial killer? Although I have been known to destroy a box of Cocoa Puffs in one sitting.”

Bailey huffs. “This isn’t a joke, Finn. It’s been two days, and Ava is already getting attached to you.”

“How is that bad, Bailey? It’s a small town, and having people who adore her is a positive in my book. Having people in her corner is always a good thing.”

“Until they’re not! Then her heart will be broken because she won’t understand why she was abandoned, and she’ll spend years questioning her own self-worth, Finn.”

I move slowly from my perch on the wall and stalk toward Bailey, who, by the way, looks adorable in my shirt and sweatpants. I cage her in and invade her comfort bubble, placing a hand on each side of her. My voice deepens when I confront the truth of what she’s trying to say.

“This isn’t about Ava, is it? I think you’re getting attached to me, and that scares you.”

Bailey lowers her eyes and stares at her dangling feet. “It terrifies me, Finn. When I decided to move back here with the girls, I wasn’t given any warning that you had returned. If I had, I may have chosen to start over somewhere else. Forgiving you doesn’t mean I can forget what happened between us.Gah!Loving you was so easy, but getting over you was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. It’s why Daniel and I moved away. He knew that everywhere was a reminder of what you and I had shared.”

I tuck a strand of hair behind Bailey’s ear and stroke her cheek gently with my calloused thumb. “I’m not going anywhere, Bailey. You don’t have to worry about me abandoning you or the girls. You don’t have to question your self-worth, and I’m truly sorry that my actions caused you ever to do that in the first place. If you give me the chance, I’ll prove it to you. I’ll prove that you are worth walking through fire for.”

Bailey puts her hand on my heart and subtly shakes her head. “You’ve made those promises to me before. Did you make the same promises to Micah’s, Isaac’s, and Jonah’s mother?”

“What?”

“I overheard your conversation last night with Ella and Micah. You told Micah that you left his mother for fear of rejection but that you still love her and miss her every day,” Bailey says. “For Pete’s sake, the boys call you ‘Finn’ and not ‘Dad.’”

I palm my face as I think about all the conversations about the boys’ mother since we rescued Bailey and the girls from the snowstorm. Not once did Jenny’s name come up. I just assumed that Bailey knew who their mother was. I start cackling uncontrollably at the absurdity of this whole situation. “You have…it...so wrong…Bailey,” I say, doubled over in amusement.

I wipe the tears from my eyes and regain a modicum of control. “If anyone would find humor in this situation, it would be the boys’ mother. Micah, Isaac, and Jonah are my nephews—not my children, Bailey. After their father died six years ago fighting a fire, Jenny changed her will to make me their guardian should anything happen to her.”

It hits her that it’s my sister who passed away. “I’m so sorry, Finn. I had no idea that Jenny was their mom or that she passed away. Micah is the spitting image of you, and I assumed….”

The smile disappears from my face in an instant. “You assumed that I would abandon my family as I had you, and I didn’t give you any reason to believe otherwise. But that’s not who I am, Bailey. I’m as committed as they come, which is why I haven’t loved anyone else. You’ve always been it for me.”

“What are you saying, Finn?”

I lean forward and brush my lips against hers in a soft but chaste kiss. But once I’ve had a taste, there is no going back. I press my lips firmly to hers as my fingers grip the dryer rather than roam her body like I want to. She tilts her head and invites me in by parting her lips slightly before her hand slides around my neck as she deepens the kiss even further. When her ankle slides around my calf, I realize that we are getting carried away and pull back. I need to lay all my cards on the table so that she knows exactly where I stand.

“I’ve never stopped loving you, Bailey Bug,” I say, nipping at her bottom lip. “You’ve always been my forever, even if you gave up believing I’m yours.”

Chapter fifteen

Bailey

“I’ve never stopped lovingyou, Bailey Bug. You’ve always been my forever, even if you gave up believing I’m yours.”

I feel like such a schmuck for making the same mistake Finn did all those years ago and believing the worst without having all the facts. I’m really glad it didn’t take us another 18 years before the truth came out, but I’m not sure I’m ready to processwhat Finn just said or that fact he pulled away. It’s for the best because, for a minute, I lost myself in his kiss.

The sweet feel of Finn’s lips against mine makes me want to throw all caution out the window and leap without a parachute, but I still have three girls to think about and a shipping container of boxes to unpack. I have a business I need to get off the ground, and yet I don’t even have a home that I can call my own. I’m feeling adrift in a sea of overwhelming emotions, tasks, and responsibilities with nothing but Ava’s arm floaties to keep me from sinking.

“Finn, what am I supposed to say to that?”

He pushes off the washer and takes a step back. “I don’t expect you to say anything, Bailey. I simply thought you should know how I feel about you—how I’ve always felt about you.”

“We can’t simply pick up where we left off, Finn. There’s too much history, and we aren’t the same people anymore,” I tell him. Although the idea of rekindling our relationship is becoming more appealing with every subtle hint he drops.

Finn makes his way over to the stairs and leans on the railing. “You’re right, but that doesn’t mean we can’t wipe the slate clean and start over. If I could have one thing for Christmas, I’d ask for a second chance. But if you’re not ready or that’s not what you want, then I’d rather have your friendship than nothing at all. How about we start there? If, or when, you decide you want more, I’ll be waiting with arms wide open. I’ve waited 18 years to make things right. I can wait as long as you need.”

I hop off the dryer, my butt having gone numb due to the constant vibration. “Be honest with me, Finn. Are you really okay with being just friends if that’s what I decide, even after our shared history? Do you believe it’s possible to be only friends because that’s where I’d like to start for now?”

“It’s not what I want, but I’ll take what I can get, Bailey. If it means you and the girls get to be a part of our lives, then yes, I’mokay with being friends. The question is, are you?” He pounds the banister twice with his fist to end the conversation and heads upstairs.

---