Page 22 of Cabin Fever With My First Flame

I hug my daughter. “Okay. I’ll think about it, but I make no promises.”

I shut the door and flip the lock, heading for the bathroom. My eyes well with tears when I see all the trouble Finn has gone through to provide a relaxing experience for me. The sunken bathtub is filled with warm water and bubbles, along with a large candle flickering in the corner.

I’m about to strip off my flour-crusted clothing when there’s a knock at the door. “Bailey, are you still decent?” Finn asks.

I open his bedroom door and let him in. “Only if you consider puffy eyes and filthy clothes decent.”

Finn steps inside, holding a chilled glass of white wine. He notices my red-rimmed eyes and wipes away the lone tear on my cheek with the pad of his thumb. “Bailey Bug, why are you crying?”

“They’re happy tears, Finn. I promise.” I wave my hand toward the open bathroom door. “I’m a little overwhelmed by the sweet gesture. That’s all. It’s been so long since someone has gone out of their way for me—my girls excluded, of course.”

“You deserve to be treated like a queen, Bailey. I’m sorry that hasn’t been the case. What you did for the boys today meant something to them, and it meant something to me. This is my way of saying thank you. Here,” Finn says, handing me the glass of wine. “Relax and unwind. I’ll finish cleaning up in the kitchen.”

I take the offered glass and step back because if I don’t, I might end up kissing Finn as Ella had suggested. I might, anyway, because he’s standing there with a vulnerable expression. “Thank you. You didn’t have to do this, but I really appreciate it.”

“It’s my pleasure.” As Finn closes the door, I hear him mumble, “I’d do anything for you.”

I lock the door behind him, not entirely sure I was supposed to hear that last part. Finn had always treated me with respect and love, which is why his ghosting me broke my heart.

I set the glass down on the edge of the tub while I undress and slip into the warm water topped with bubbles. The fruity scent tickles my nose as I lean my head back and close my eyes. I briefly wonder why Finn has bubble bath to begin with, but I let the thought go. It’s none of my business.

If Finn wants a second chance with me, would it be wise to give it to him? Could I trust him not to break my heart a second time if I did? Heck, I don’t know if I’m ready to put myself out there again, not so soon after my divorce.

After an hour of contemplation and a second warm-up to the bath water, I still don’t have the answers to the questions bouncing around in my head. I decide to “Let go and let God” because my head and heart are warring against one another. My head is blaring a warning that I should protect myself fromever being hurt again while my heart remembers the way it beat rapidly whenever Finn held me in his arms.

I let the water drain as I drip dry and search for a towel. I find them stashed under the bathroom sink along with the bottles of bubble bath. I laugh when I read the label out loud. “Children’s fruit-scented bubble bath. Non-toxic and gentle on the skin.” The name Jonah is scrawled on the label. There’s another bottle next to it with the name Isaac scrawled across the top. Apparently, Isaac prefers bubble-gum-scented bubble baths instead of smelling like a fruit salad.

I’m grateful to Finn for leaving me clean, warm clothes to wear, but Finn is nearly twice my size, and they don’t quite fit as intended. When I put on the sweatpants, the waistband is at my armpits, and I giggle as the image of Steve Urkel pops into my head. I roll up the cuffs and roll down the waistband until the sweats fit my tiny frame. The T-shirt hangs to mid-thigh and swims on me, yet I can’t take my eyes off my reflection in the mirror. The shirt is Finn’s Lake George Leopards tee, and the name Hollister is displayed prominently across my shoulders.

I gather up the extra material and tie a knot at the front, keeping the shirt a little loose but not wearing it like a dress. I blow out the candle and clean up the bathroom, gathering up my dirty clothes and the towel I used.

Walking down the hall, I hear Finn talking with Ella and Micah and stop in my tracks. “Your mom was the best thing that ever happened to me. I was a fool for letting her go.”

Micah pipes up and says, “But she loved you so much. I don’t understand how you could leave her like that?”

“Fear,” Finn says bluntly.

Micah scoffs. “But you’re the bravest person I know. You literally jump out of planes with nothing more than a handful of tools to put out forest fires. You laugh in the face of danger.”

Finn chuckles, but there’s no mirth in it. “Fear of rejection, Micah. I know it sounds ridiculous, but it’s true.”

“Do you still miss her? Do you still love her?” Ella asks, sounding forlorn and heartbroken.

I frown. Finn seems to have a penchant for loving and leaving not only me, but Micah’s mom as well. I back up slowly so as not to draw attention to myself, but that doesn’t stop me from overhearing his choked-out response. “I miss her every day, Ella. She was my world, and I’ll always love her. There isn’t a day that goes by I haven’t thought about her.”

I finally make it back to Finn’s room and softly close the door, allowing my back to slide down the wood until my but hits the floor. Touching my forehead to my knees, I begin to let the tears flow. How could I be so naïve?

Chapter fourteen

Finn

I keep glancing inthe direction of the hallway, hoping that Bailey will come out and join us. Telling two teenagers how much I’ve missed Bailey and that leaving her was the worst mistake I ever made isn’t exactly how I planned on spending my evening. My only hope is that they can learn something from my experience.

Ella gives me a hug. “Finn, I know my mom better than anyone. I’m practically her ‘mini-me.’ I know how she thinks and how she operates. If you really want to pick up where you left off, then you are going to have to show her you are in it to win it.”

“Bailey isn’t a prize, and I don’t want to pick up where we left off,” I tell Ella. My eyes dart between both of the teens as I explain, “If Bailey is willing to give me a second chance, then I want to start over and create something new. Life has changed and shaped us into who we are today, which isn’t two teenagers ignorant of the world around them. If Bailey and I decide to date one another, then we are going to have to get to know each other all over again.”

Micah grins from his perch on the recliner. “You’re such a sap, Finn. It’s cute.”

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