Page 17 of Beatitude

“I gave you your out last night, Angel.” His hand snakes behind my neck, gripping me into place. “You chose to stay here and let me fuck you into unconsciousness over a balcony. You’re mine now, and forever.” His lips are mere millimeters from mine and I’m sure he can hear the quickening of my heart rate and my breathing.

“And when you get tired of me?” I whisper against his mouth. “What happens then?”

“Impossible,” he states as if what I’m saying is the most preposterous thing ever spoken.

“Right,” I say with a chuckle. “Like I haven’t heard that before.” Giggling, I tap his nose before going to stand. Ronan grips my wrist and pulls me to him.

“Everly.” His voice is low and full of desire as he breathes out my name as if he owns me… then again, maybe he does. “I’ve been watching you with a deadly hunger, obsessively studying every breath, every move. My addiction to you is not just a gentle flame, it's an inferno of desire that devours my very sanity. I've imagined countless scenarios where you're mine and mine alone, where we’re the only souls left in existence. Everly, you may think you have control over your own life, but my sweet angel, you couldn’t be more wrong. We are woven into each other's very beings, there is no escape from us. Even in death, we will be intertwined with each other. I need you to understand, there is no getting tired of you. You are mine, you always were meant to be mine, and you will always be mine. One way or another, you will belong to me, forever. Nothing will stand in the way of that— not even you.”

“Not even me?” I question weakly, my heart pounding in my ears as I lose myself in his gaze.

“If you try to leave me,” he murmurs, his lips connecting with mine so softly it causes me to whimper. “I will kill you, and then I will kill myself and come find you again.” I open my mouth in shock and he takes it as an invitation, forcing his tongue into my mouth, claiming it as his.

“Ronan,” I pant as he climbs on top of me, his hot mouth planting feverish kisses over my neck and jawline. “Ronan, how am I going with you if you’re crossing the border?” He freezes and pulls back.

“You’re going to sit in the front seat like the good girl you are and when they ask for your passport, you’ll give it to them.”

“I-I don’t have a passport, plus won’t it look weird, a Canadian bringing back an American?” Annoyed, he pushes himself off me and adjusts his erection pushing at his jeans before walking over to his bag.

“I’m from Boston, I’m not Canadian. Not too good with accents are ya?” he teases, causing me to blush.

“I don’t know. I’ve been in the midwest my whole life, I figured you’re just what they sound like up there. That doesn’t answer my question though, I don’t have a passport.”

“I have a guy who got me the proper documents. We are going to meet him tonight to get yours.”

“I don’t know,” I whisper, biting on my nail. “Ronan, going to another country…if I’m caught, they’ll send me to jail.”

“First, do you think I would allow that to happen? And second, what do you mean you don’t know? What’s there to know? Youaregetting in my car and wearegoing across the border.” His voice is dark and commanding in a way I haven’t heard since being tied in the woods, blindfolded and pleadingwith him.

“What if I say no,” I whisper as he shrugs his bag on his shoulder. “What if I want to stay here?” He turns and looks me over, the backs of his fingers running over my cheek.

“I told you, Everly, you belong with me, forever. I won’t live without you. I gave you an out last night and you chose this.”

“Yeah? And? Ronan, you wanted to die last night!”

“So what?” His voice cracks ever so slightly as his hand drops from my face. I watch his brows furrow in confusion and his eyes look almost lost. “You said those things to me so I wouldn’t die?” I open my mouth to lie, to tell him that I didn’t mean it that way. But… I did. I talked him down because the thought of him dying and leaving me to clean the mess… it was too much.

I’m silent for too long and he sees the truth written over my face.

“Right,” he whispers, looking away. “Can’t love a monster.”

“Ronan! That’s not fair! You took me! Nothing about this, about us is normal, I can’t fall in love with you! I’m still not sure I trust you won’t murder me! What we’re doing, yeah it’s enjoyable, but sustainable? Really? So I go to Canada and we go on a killing spree there? When does it stop? You and I will end up in prison or killing each other. How am I supposed to sleep next to you at night and not fear your addiction taking hold and you ending me?”

“I don’t kill there,” he hisses as if I’ve insulted him. “I kill once a year, until now. This is new for me too, alright! I didn’t expect this and I’m not sure where it’s going to lead us but what am I supposed to do? You and I can’t be apart. And between the two of us, you’re the only one who hascontemplated murdering me in my sleep.” I wince at his truthful words.

“Ronan, as much as I am enjoying this, it’s becoming very clear that I need to go. You and I… I think we’re addicted to this and no good can come of it.” I say, getting up and walking toward the door.

“I’m sorry.” He laughs darkly. “Did I give you some impression that you’re allowed to leave without me?” I turn to glare back at him but the hurt and betrayal in his eyes breaks me. He’s trying to mask it but I see the panic, it’s the same panic I saw when he thought I was going to jump in that guy's car. Reaching up, I cup his cheek, and he flinches as though I might strike him.

“Ro—”

“No,” he grits out, jerking his face away. “If you are leaving me, if you’re going to go on with your life and forget about me… about us, then you let that name die.”

“This is toxic,” I try to get him to look at me but he refuses, his eyes burning holes in the carpet. “You know what is happening between us—it’s wrong, it’s a sick and twisted addiction. I know this because even as I’m saying this, my body wants to stay here and find out how much more twisted we can become. It’s not safe, for either of us. We will be what ends the other.”

“You’re right,” he whispers, his eyes finally reaching mine. He looks so lost. “But I’m okay with you being my undoing, my end. Your body wants to stay with me, but my fucking soul can’t imagine being ripped from yours. This isn’t just fucking, Everly, I’ll chop my cock off and give it to you if that’s what you ask. You are my oxygen, if you leave, I will die.”

“We’ve known each other less than a week,” I manage out, my heart aching for the panicked man in front of me. He looksso frightened and alone.

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