Page 15 of Beatitude

“I know,” she admits while turning the shower off. “But so am I, and even monsters deserve some semblance of happiness, right?”

“Everly,” her name is a shaky plea as I feel myself becoming too heavy. “You’re no monster, but if you stay with me…you’ll become one.” Looking away, I step out of the shower and grab a towel. I want her to stay, and every part of me is screaming to keep her. And I will, but from afar. I will let her go, but she will never be free of me. And I… God, I will always be hers.

“I’m going to get this cleaned up,” I state, my voice hollow and distant. “There’s ten thousand in cash in my bag, take it and go. Our adventure has come to an end.”

“What?” She squeaks out while stepping out of the shower, her skin rising in goosebumps from the temperature change. “I’ve killed two people in twenty-four hours! There’s no going back, Ronan.”

“You’ve killed no one,” I huff dryly. “I killed him and the woodsman was dead while I was still fucking your brains out. I just wanted to see what you would choose.”

“Why?” she asks as I continue to stare at the tiled floor.

“I don’t know, morbid curiosity? I told you,” I tap my temple roughly. “I’m fucked up.”

“No.” She states firmly, walking out of the bathroom withme following her. “I refuse to believe that you did this out of boredom. I didn’t believe you at first but… but Ronan, you and I, we are something. You know it, I know you feel it.”

“What I feel,” I glare at her while curling my lip. “Is boredom and annoyance. Now take the money and get the fuck out of here.”

“No,” She straightens though her voice is shaking.

“Get out!” I roar causing her to cower slightly, but she doesn’t make a move for the money or the door. Fed up with her defiance I march over to the bag and grab the banded bills and hurl them at her feet. “You take that fucking money, and you get the fuck out. I’m done with you.”

“Well I’m not done with you!” she snaps, taking me by surprise.Not done with me? I am the monster who drugged her and wanted to kill her, I still might…what is she talking about?“And fuck you by the way,” She hisses, while hitting me with the money. “We go through all this and you hurl ten grand at me and say have a nice day?”

“It’s all I have on me,” I mutter, still trying to wrap my brain around what’s happening. “Is that why you’re staying? You want more?” Well that’s a look of rage I’ve never seen on her.

“I will cut your tongue out of your fucking mouth if you say something like that to me again! I don’t want your money or anyone else’s you fucking prick!” Raising a brow, I reach in the bag and pull out my pocket knife. I open it and flip it to her.

“Well, go on then Angel, do it.” She takes the pocket knife as I drop to my knees.

“What is the matter with you?” She whispers softly as I close my eyes.

“Better idea, take that knife and fucking drive it in me. All I ask is I get to see your eyes as I leave thisworld.”

“Ronan,” she grabs the back of my head and I let her take control. It's so unnatural to give up the power, but for her, I’d give her anything, everything.Take me out baby and run away. You’ll never have to look over your shoulder and wonder if I’m there.I hear her drop to her knees and I open my eyes, watching my blade go to my throat. I stare into her heavenly eyes and give her the slightest nod. She pushes the blade against my skin and I feel the bite of the blade. I welcome the burn and release, it’s so freeing, and I know any second, I’ll never have another thought or worry again. I look at my sweet girl, making sure she’s my last vision, my last thought, my last prayer. My final heartbeats belong to her and only her.

Everly pulls the knife from my throat and closes the blade. I’m about to ask her what she’s doing when her lips are on my neck where the blade had been. She runs her tongue over the cut, lapping up the trail of blood.

“Fuck,” I whimper, having to force back a rouge sob trying to escape as she moves to my mouth. I taste the copper from my blood and growl while fighting with her tongue over dominance. Gripping the back of her head I yank her from my mouth and stare at her in bewilderment.

“Why?” I ask weakly.Fuck please, make me understand.Why? Why is this beautiful creature holding me instead of ending me?

Her delicate fingers trail over my rough, stubbled cheek as she whispers my name. The warmth of her touch melts away the darkness trying to pull me under. “Even the monsters need love,”

“You can’t love a monster,” I choke out, regurgitating the line I’ve had drilled in me since adolescence. Everly climbs on my lap and holds me in place.

“You can, if you’re a monster too.” Her hand grabs mine and I feel the raised areas of skin on her thighs. She’s letting me touch them. It’s what started the whole night’s events, me touching her scars.

“You aren’t my first kidnapper, let’s just put it that way.” She admits and my hand twitches, gripping her thigh as I glare at her.

“What?” I grit out, my mind unable to focus on anything except for the thought someone had hurt her.

“Parents didn’t want me; I was in the foster system which was its own treat. I ended up getting a partial scholarship and working to go to college,”

“What happened?” Her mouth twitches and she gives the smallest of shrugs.

“Group of college guys took me to some shack, drugged me and kept me for a weekend. Took videos, photos, they… they ruined me. Then they went back to school like nothing happened.”

“That makes them the monster, not you.” I say while running my fingers through her hair. “Who were they?” A small dry laugh escapes past her lips.

---