Page 60 of Filthy Devil

I wish he were the only person, too.

Then we could be together. I wouldn’t have ruined everything by signing that stupid contract. Nobody would be coming after him, and his family, destroying his world, and we could live together happily ever after just like a fairy tale.

It’s my dream.

But dreams can’t always be a reality. I know that as much as anyone else. This world is so ugly, and things are getting uglierwith every minute that passes. I hate it all, and I wish I could change it—but I can’t.

Before either of us can speak, the door opens, and I watch as King and Bugsy walk back inside the room. My initial reaction is to stand up from the bed, but Nash reaches for my wrist and keeps me where I am sitting against his side.

There is a moment of silence, but then Nash speaks, and King clears his throat when he does. “I want James at my house. She’s my old lady. I want a man on her until this shit is done, until I’m home.”

“Dad,” King growls.

I hold my breath for a moment, then let it out slowly. Bugsy clears his throat, then rocks back on his heels.

“We don’t got anyone. All hands are on deck, Nash.”

Nash doesn’t want to hear this. Shifting my attention to him, I watch as he clenches his jaw. A muscle tics in his cheek before he presses his lips together. Then he clears his throat and smirks.

“Is that so?” Nash asks.

Bugsy jerks his chin, but it’s King who speaks. “I got James’s back,” he announces.

I don’t know what to say, what to do. So, I stay quiet and watch this play out. I have no idea what is going to happen, but something has just gone down right here in front of me. I just don’t know any of these people or their rules well enough to figure it out on my own.

“’Preciate that, son,” Nash says, but he doesn’t look at King when he speaks.

Instead, his focus is on Bugsy. He’s good and pissed the fuck off. I’m not worth all of this, and when I open my mouth to say that, he holds up his hand, his palm facing my face. I don’t know how he even knows that I’ve opened my mouth to speak because he’s not looking at me.

“Take her to Pineville.”

Pineville.

I almost, almost tell him that I’m done. That I’m leaving. But then I realize that he’s going to send me away while he’s in the hospital. “Wait a damn minute,” I snap.

Nash’s attention flicks to me, and I watch as both King and Bugsy’s eyes widen as they shift their attention to me. Three intimidating pairs of eyes are focused on me, but there is only one I give a shit about.

“I’m not leaving you in here,” I whisper. He arches a brow, his lips twitching into a smirk. Lifting my chin slightly, I look at the two men who are still watching me from across the room. “I’ll stay right fucking here until Nash goes home.”

I’ve just screwed up my whole freaking plan. I don’t know how I’m going to leave now. How the hell do I walk out of here when I’m supposed to be staying with him? Why did I just say what I did? I had the perfect opportunity to dip out, and now I’ve screwed myself over.

But I couldn’t just let Nash send me away, and there was no way I could allow him to sit in this room by himself. I don’t know how long he’s going to be here, but I don’t care either. I’ll figure out how to leave later.

Right now, I need to take care of him the way he’s taken care of me. This is all my fault anyway. I should be the one to take care of him.

“The lady has spoken,” King chuckles.

Turning to him, I can’t stop my cheeks from heating. I press my hands to them in an attempt to cool them off so they don’t look as red as they feel. “I can’t leave you here like this, Nash,” I whisper.

He chuckles, rolling his eyes to the ceiling as if I’m exhausting. I feel exhausted. Mostly because I’ve exhaustedmyself. I’ve been running through half-hatched plans in my head for weeks. None of which have come to fruition.

Maybe I should just forget the whole thing and let everything happen the way it’s supposed to. I have a feeling when it comes to Nash, that’s the way it’s going to have to be.

I’m not going to be able to control even a moment of this between us, no matter how much I plan, no matter how I feel about it, no matter how I try to save him from my mistakes. I won’t be able to.

For this moment, I surrender.

I love him. There is no way around that. And I need to accept that and accept this. Even if I’m scared to death that someone Nash loves is going to get hurt. I’ve already gotten him hurt, complete with surgery and a hospital stay.

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