Page 44 of Filthy Devil

There is a long moment of silence. For a moment, I think he’s drifted off to sleep, but then he clears his throat and his lips touch my shoulder again.

“I’d say you have plenty to do, especially when it comes to me,” he murmurs with a chuckle.

I smile at his words. “That’s not what I meant.”

“I know,” he states, then lets out a heavy sigh. “I don’t know what to tell you. Until I know that you are safe, I’m not willing to just let you do whatever,” he says.

I don’t blame him for being cautious. I’m sure those guys are seriously bad news, and they think I belong to them.

“My mother is dead, right?” I ask into the darkness.

He clears his throat, his arms flexing around me. “Both of them are gone, sweetheart.”

I knew it. I had that feeling, and it’s been a thought in the back of my mind. “She was one of the women, like the ones I see downstairs, right?”

He hums. “A clubwhore, yeah. But you were born before she came to us.”

Sinking my teeth into my bottom lip, I inhale deeply, holding my breath for a moment, then let it out slowly. “I’m not sure howthat feels,” I confess. “I asked you a while ago, and you didn’t tell me.”

His arms squeeze again. “It wasn’t my place, and it still isn’t, but you deserve to know.”

“And my father?” I ask.

“I don’t know him well. He’s in a rival club and tried to fuck the Dark Horse over. The Pineville chapter was involved in all of that. I was tasked with you and your protection as the last wish of your mother. And while Vixen, in the end, fucked up, we did it because we all knew deep down she was scared shitless, and that’s why she did what she did.”

I swallow the lump in my throat. I’m not sure how I feel about that. I don’t know if I should be pissed off or not. Maybe I should be angry or hurt. But Andrea has always been some phantom sister. She was spoken about more like a warning.

Don’t be like your sister.

Andrea has ruined her entire life.

If you continue doing what you’re doing, you’re going to end up just like your sister.

The warnings from my parents have been clearer than the actual person. If I wasn’t perfect, I was going to throw my entire life away just like Andrea.

“Did Andrea throw her life away?” I ask in a whisper.

He lifts his hand and slides his fingers through my hair, his eyes searching mine in the dark for a moment. When he answers me, his voice is throaty, as if he is convinced of his words, and that sends something warm blossoming throughout my whole body.

“Vixen lived her life the way she wanted. Maybe some people looking in from the outside would say that she threw it away because she didn’t have a house or any worldly possessions.”

Cuddling closer to him, I can’t help but think about my mother, my sister. It’s still hard to think of Andrea as mymother, but that’s who she was. She tried to give me a good life by giving me to my grandparents, but I’m not so sure it worked out.

But she tried, and that makes her motherly.

My grandparents, the people who raised me, were trying to control every aspect of my life. They tried so hard to keep me from turning into Andrea, except I ended up being worse. She sold herself to the men at the clubhouse, but it seems like they treated her well. I was willing to sell myself into the unknown.

“My grandparents were so worried I would turn out like her, and now look at me. They were right to worry.”

Nash’s hand slides up my spine, his fingers curling around the back of my neck and squeezing. “Don’t say that,” he barks.

“The Southern Mafia made me a minimal promise, and I signed it because I didn’t want to do what they demanded. Which only hurt me. I’m not sure if they even care.”

Nash dips his chin and touches his lips to mine. “You’re safe, sweetheart. You’re safe, and you’re mine. You aren’t a clubwhore or a whore of any kind. You’re the woman of the president of the Dark Horse MC.”

Letting out a long exhale, I slide my tongue along the seam of his lips. He lets out a moan, and that’s when I shift backward slightly. “Nash?” I call out softly.

He grunts. “I’m glad to be yours.” And that’s the truth. “Thank you for listening to Andrea, to my mother. I was stubborn, and she told me not to do it, but I did it anyway, and it was a mistake. But I’m not sorry I did it. Because I got you in the deal.”

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