Page 44 of Pretend You're Mine

He shifted, his breath a warm puff against my neck. “I’m afraid of... this. Of wanting this too much.” His words trembled, like he was barely holding himself together. “Of letting myself think that I deserve this.”

I closed my eyes, swallowing hard against the ache that welled up inside me. “You deserve so much more than you think,Creed. And I’m going to keep telling you that until you believe it.”

He went quiet, but he didn’t pull away. And that was enough for now, enough to keep holding onto, even with the cold seeping into my bones and the night stretching out around us.

CHAPTER 26

CREED

I didn’t know what to say. Didn’t know if there was anything Icouldsay that wouldn’t make things worse. So I just stayed there, my head resting on Avery’s shoulder. I watched the snowflakes melt into tiny droplets that clung to his lashes. For once, the silence didn’t feel like something that needed to be filled. It justwas.

He glanced over at me, his eyes shadowed. “How did you know I’d be here?”

My throat felt dry, the words sticking in my mouth, but I forced them out. “Becca told me. She said this is where you come sometimes when... when things get too much.” I swallowed, the words scraping against my raw throat. “She told me I needed to find you.”

Avery nodded. He turned his gaze back to the headstone.

“I’m sorry,” I blurted out. “I’m sorry for... for being such a piece of shit.”

I braced myself for him to argue, to throw my apology back in my face, or to insist that I wasn’t as bad as I thought I was.Something. But he didn’t. He just kept staring at that damn headstone, like it held all the answers he’d been looking for.

“My father,” he began after a long stretch of silence, his voice rough with a kind of weariness I recognized all too well. “I spent my whole life trying to be what he wanted. Trying to prove to him that I could be... enough. But it was never enough for him. No matter what I did, there was always something he could find fault with.”

I shifted closer to him.

“He made me feel small. Weak,” Avery continued. “And when he died, I thought I’d feel relief. Like maybe I could finally breathe without his voice in my head. But I just felt... guilty. Guilty for hating him, and guilty for missing him. For wishing he’d been a different man, one who could have actually loved me.”

The raw honesty in his voice sent a shiver through me, but it wasn’t from the cold. I stared at his profile, the lines of his face softened by the snow, and felt the tightness in my chest ease just a little, like his pain made mine a little less suffocating. Like maybe we were just two guys who’d spent too long trying to live up to someone else’s expectations.

“I know what that’s like,” I murmured, my voice barely more than a rasp against the night air. “I hate that my father’s voice is still in my head. Hate that I keep letting him in, letting him mess with my life even after I thought I’d buried all of that. And I—” My breath hitched, my lungs burning with the cold. “I don’t want to be that man, Avery. The one who keeps letting the past screw up every good thing that comes his way.”

Avery turned to me then, his eyes searching mine, and I saw something shift in his expression. What was it? I wasn’t sure, but it was softer. “You’re not him. You’renothim, Creed. And you’re not a piece of shit. You’re—” He broke off, his jaw working like he was trying to find the right words, then he let out a breath that clouded the air between us. “You’re exactly what I deserve. More than that.”

The words hit me hard, something breaking loose inside my chest, something I hadn’t even realized I’d been holding onto. I closed my eyes for a second, feeling the sting of tears that I refused to let fall. When I opened them again, Avery was closer, so close.

Without thinking, I leaned forward, my lips brushing his, soft and tentative, like I was afraid he’d disappear if I pushed too hard. But he didn’t pull away. Instead, he leaned into me, his mouth warm against mine, and in that moment, the cold didn’t matter. Nothing mattered except the way he fit against me, the way his fingers curled into the front of my coat, holding on like he was afraid I’d slip away too.

When we finally broke apart, the space between us felt different—less empty, more charged with everything we hadn’t said. He pressed his forehead against mine, his breath mingling with mine, the warmth of it fogging the air between us. Neither of us said the words we were both thinking, but I felt them there, unspoken, humming beneath my skin.

“I’m here,” I whispered, my voice rough with the weight of everything I couldn’t put into words. “I’m right here, and I’m not going anywhere.”

Avery’s fingers tightened in my coat, and he nodded, a small, almost broken motion. “Yeah,” he breathed, the word barely more than a sigh. “Yeah, I know.”

We stayed like that, wrapped in each other. I held onto him, as if he was the only solid thing left in the world. But then the cold became too much to ignore and we had to head inside.

Avery’s hand lingered on the small of my back as the bedroom door clicked shut behind us. I glanced over at him, catching thesoft, contented curve of his lips. There was a softness in his expression that I loved seeing, especially after what happened the night before.

Neither of us said a word as our hands moved to the edges of each other’s jackets, peeling away the cold, wet layers that clung to our skin. My fingers fumbled a little as I unbuttoned his shirt, still not believing that this moment was real. But Avery’s hands were steady, his touch confident as he slipped my shirt over my head.

By the time we were down to our underwear, the chill from outside had settled into our bones, and Avery’s mouth twitched into a knowing, almost mischievous smile. He took my hand, tugging me toward the bathroom, and I followed without hesitation. Steam filled the air as he turned on the shower, the water heating up fast, and he pulled me under the spray, the hot water cascading over us both.

I let out a shaky breath as the heat seeped into my skin, chasing away the last remnants of the cold. Avery’s hands followed the path of the water, sliding over my shoulders, my chest, each touch unhurried and gentle, like he was learning me, piece by piece. I mirrored him, letting my hands roam over his slick skin, tracing the lines of muscle that flexed beneath my palms. There was something intoxicating about the feel of him, solid and warm.

Neither of us spoke, but there was a quiet understanding in the way we touched each other, a kind of reverence that made my chest ache. He tilted my head back, his fingers sliding through my wet hair, and kissed me, slow and deep, the water streaming between our bodies. My pulse quickened, and I felt that familiar twist of fear in my gut, but it wasn’t enough to make me pull away. Not this time.

Avery’s lips brushed against my ear as he pressed closer, his voice low and rough. “You’re the most beautiful man I’ve ever met, Creed. You know that?”

I let out a shaky laugh, the sound barely more than a breath. “You’re full of shit.”

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