Page 61 of Delivered to the Devil

I let my eyes roam up over him. He’s danger incarnate. Massive and bulky, eyes crackling with cold detachment. But somewhere deep in the cold, I find a sliver of care that, against all rationality, stirs my trust and makes me place my hand in his massive one.

He leads me through the apartment and stops in front of the open bathroom door, probably predicting my reaction.

The moment I see that the tub is full of water, I jerk back, but Janos has stepped behind me, blocking my retreat.

“One step at a time,” he says, cradling my trembling body in his strong embrace.

I grab onto his thick arm as I stare at the foreboding water. “Do you promise?”

“Yes,” he says with unwavering certainty.

“Do you mean it?”

“I’d never make a promise I can’t keep.”

Those words seem to sum up the gist of our twisted relationship perfectly. Janos has never promised to release me from the pain or alleviate the darkness. He’s never claimed to bea good man with good intentions. Nor has he ever lied to me or given me false hopes. So I know his promise to protect me at this very moment is as true as if he promised more darkness would come.

Steeling myself with a deep breath, I nod. “Okay.”

He leads me over the threshold, keeping his arms around me as he leads me forward. We make it four steps before I whip around and press myself into him as I clutch the fabric of his T-shirt with both hands.So much for that bravery.

He pushes forward another two steps so he can lean forward and dip his hand in the water. When he runs the same hand along my naked waist, I suck in a sharp breath.

“It’s just water. Hot water,” he says. “Close your eyes and feel it.”

Pressing myself into him, I try not to panic as he repeats the gesture. I expect an icy sensation to seep into my skin when his wet hand slides over my spine, but there’s no cold. The water is warm. And so is Janos. His hand, his body, and even his soothing voice.

“Try for yourself.” He slowly turns me to face the water, and when I shake my head vigorously, he bands an arm around my stomach, pressing me close to him. Leaning down to my ear, he says with a potent promise, “I won’t let you fall.”

Heaving a deep breath, I lean over his arm. His unwavering strength lends me the courage to dip my hand into the water—so quickly I only get the tips of my fingers wet.

“That’s it. Good girl. One more time.”

I repeat with a less panicked haste as he strokes my back with his free hand. This time, I get my whole hand wet, and a tiny smile forms on my lips. The water feels good.

Next, my whole arm goes in, then my foot, and finally we’re in the tub, the water reaching my knees.

“I can’t do this,” I say as my lungs heave for air without getting any. I try to pull away from Janos to bolt out of the tub, but he holds me in place. “Let me go!”

“Stay here,” he urges, wrapping both arms around me.

“No, I can’t.” I shove at his massive arms, and when they remain banded around me, I try to climb his body like I’m a monkey in a tree. He’s tall enough for me to escape the water, but my feet are slippery, my body weak, and my legs fall back in. My feet have barely broken the surface before Janos grabs my thighs and hoists me up. But it’s too late. I’m already crying, clinging to his neck as the water seems to reach up for me.

“I’ve got you,” he assures, tightening his grip. “Your feet won’t touch the water until you’re ready. Just breathe.”

I drag in large gulps of air between sobs, and my chest keeps shaking as panic and grief tear through me. It goes on and on, but Janos remains strong and stable, holding me like he promised until I can finally manage long and even breaths.

“Are you ready to dip your feet back in?”

I nod, sniffling beside his ear, before I lean my head back to face him. His eyes hold a promise of safety that I can’t resist, so I nod.

I let him lower my feet back in, and I can’t help but marvel at his strength. It’s controlled to the tiniest movement as he slowly bends his knees until my feet break the surface, and there he holds me for several minutes without breathing a single labored breath.

His strength grants me the courage I need, and I finally relax my feet and let them plop into the water to stand on my own.

“Good girl,” he says, tone warm and full of pride.

Those two words are the final push I need. Releasing my strained grip on his arms, I gaze up at him. My heart races and my pulse hammers, but when his lips lift into a smile and the corners of his eyes crinkle with that rare expression, a smileunfolds on my own lips. Janos keeps his arms under my elbows, ready to catch me. We stand like that for a full minute until I slam my hands back onto him, feeling like I’ve just experienced the craziest adrenaline kick of my life.

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