Page 37 of Delivered to the Devil

I hate Janos, but I need the comfort, so I let myself sink into the lull of his touch. My breathing deepens and my inner muscles slacken. I stop fighting and watch my tears drip onto the carpet, forming dark spots on the pink fibers. They look calm. Deceptively so.

“Good girl,” Janos whispers in my ear. And suddenly, everything shatters.

Two simple words break my entire world. He has said them so many times when he was the one forcing himself inside me, and I always thought it was a sincere effort to appease me.How blind could I be?It was nothing but a cruel part of a charade meant to break me to his will. He doesn’t want to help me; he just wants to see Gabor tear me apart from behind.

I go livid, the betrayal burning like hot coals in my stomach. I jerk so hard I manage to wrench forward over Janos’s arm, making Gabor’s cock slip out.

“Fucking bitch.” Gabor digs his nails into my hips, and a warm trickle of blood erupts under one of his fingers. But the pain in my skin is nothing compared to the one in my chest. I barely even notice it as I collapse over Janos’s arm, utterly devastated. Fat tears drip onto the carpet so rapidly the tiny dark spots become one big stain.

The sound of a hand masturbating hovers somewhere in the distance, and sticky come spurts onto my back as Gabor groans. Then his hand is in the mess, spreading it over my skin like a dirty reminder of my worthlessness.

Janos never loosens his grip. He just holds me in place and lets it all happen.

I’m so distraught I can’t do anything but hang there over his arm and hate him. Or maybe I hate myself for ever having believed his words.

Grabbing me by the hair, Gabor jerks my head back. “Disgusting whore,” he sneers as he drags his hand across my face, smearing the stickiness over my mouth and cheeks. “Good for nothing bitch can’t even take my cock.” He finishes with a glob of spit in my face, then shoves my head forward like he can’t stand to look at me.

I feel every bit the worthless whore he calls me, and my head gets to hang where he left it. A dead weight. I can’t find the will nor the strength to lift it.

“Don’t clean the whore,” Gabor orders and delivers a final kick to my broken body before he leaves.

CHAPTER 16

“Levitate”

by Sleep Token

Janos

The moment Gabor is gone, I lower Rebecca to the floor and arrange her listless body in a steady position. I badly want to hold her, but I need to get rid of Kadri first.

“Get out of here,” I hiss, careful to keep my rage down so as not to shock Rebecca.

Seeing that he’s about to throw some rageful protest back at me, I slam my hand over his mouth, grab him by the collar, and haul him out of the living room and through the hall. “I’m sick of your disrespectful attitude,” I snarl into his ear as I open the door. I throw him into the hall and point a finger at him. “You know I can get rid of you in the blink of an eye.”

I don’t know why I bother threatening him. He doesn’t know I’m about to disobey Gabor’s order and go clean Rebecca up. I guess he’s just an easy target for my fury.

“Fuck you,” he grits as he staggers to his feet.

I should have gotten rid of him long ago. Gabor doesn’t care who does the job with me as long as it gets done, and Kadri never did a very good job in the first place. He’s disrespectful, ungrateful, and sloppy. I guess that’s why I’m stuck with him. Gabor knows I’ll keep him in line and compensate for his fuck-ups. Gabor only took him in as a favor to Kadri’s brother to get him out of Albania and get him protection for the people he had fucked over, but that favor has long since been paid off. Now, the only reason he gets to stay on is because I feel bad for him. A stray dog that’s so pathetic you can’t help feeling sorry for it.

I shut the door quietly even though I want to slam it in his face. Then I hurry back to the living room and sink to my knees beside Rebecca. My chest tightens at the sight of her.I did it.I broke her. And I want to rip my goddamn arm off for it. I should have stopped Gabor. I easily could have—which he wants me to if he’s about to go too far. But this wasn’t going too far by his standards.

She’s unresponsive when I touch her. She doesn’t even flinch as I lift her into my arms and cradle her against my chest. Her eyes stare into blank space as I peel her hair from her sticky face, and her head flops into my hand, unable to stay up on its own.

An unwelcome surge of fear fills me—a fear I haven’t felt for many years. I don’t want it, and I shove it away as I place Rebecca on the bath mat and turn around to fill the tub. But when I return to her and she’s in the exact same place where I left her, eyes still blank, the fear flares alive.

Pressing two fingers under her jaw, I feel for her pulse and breathe a small sigh of relief when I find a steady rhythm. I snap my fingers in front of her eyes to get some kind of response out of her. “Rebecca, look at me. You’re safe now. Gabor is gone.”

I shut my eyes and breathe a heavy sigh at the sound of my own words. She’s not safe, and she probably won’t ever be again.

Tapping her cheek gently, I try again—without the lie. “Rebecca, come back to me. I’m here. I’ll take care of you.”

Still nothing.

I lift her into my arms and gently lower her into the tub. A small whimper escapes her as the water engulfs her, and hope grows inside me.I’ll get her back,I tell myself. But when shekeeps staring into nothingness and I have to prevent her from sliding into the water, my hope dwindles.

Shoving back the gut-churning dread, I focus on cleaning her up, washing the dirty evidence of Gabor’s degradation from her face and cleaning every inch of her body. I have to climb into the tub to support her against my body as I go, and my pants and shirt are soaked when I’m done and hold her out in front of me.

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