Page 34 of A Miracle for the Confident Cowboy

Her eyes widened but only briefly. “You’re… not… mad?”

A new kind of ache settled in his chest. Was that why she’d kept it from him? She didn’t want to upset him? He thought back to even a few days ago when he’d overreacted. He wasn’t exactly in the right headspace—especially this month. Duke rubbed the back of his neck and looked away. “December is certainly turning into my least favorite month.” He’d meant to say it with humor, hoping she’d laugh to help lighten the mood. But she didn’t.

She reached for his hand again, this time holding to it tight. “Duke, I was going to tell?—”

He forced a smile, already knowing what he had to do. He couldn’t hold her back. This was her dream. It was the one thing that she’d put her whole heart into making it a reality. “You don’t have to explain anything to me,” he whispered. “I’m happy for you.” Duke risked a look in her direction.

Two small lines appeared between her brows, the concern and something else he couldn’t put a name to filling her eyes. “But?—”

“You made something of yourself,” he reached up with his free hand and placed a palm to her cheek. “Do I wish you would have told me sooner? Sure. But maybe it was for the best. Maybe I wouldn’t have taken the news as well as I could have.” Never had he thought it would be this difficult to admit his flaws.

The concern in her gaze only continued to tear at him. He’d made so many mistakes already in the beginning of their relationship. She deserved so much better.

“I’m proud of you.” It was all he could do to keep from asking her to turn down this amazing opportunity and to give him a chance for them to get closer, stronger before they had to worry about distance. His voice lowered, gravelly this time. “I wish we had more time.”

Sophie’s breath released in a shudder. “It’s not going to be forever,” she insisted. “I’m not moving to Europe or anything. I’ll just be there while I visit those restaurants.”

He glanced at the list. There were at least twelve on the list he’d noticed, but that didn’t mean there weren’t more. Twelve restaurants. That was about two weeks’ worth of travel time. Duke could handle missing her for two weeks. People living in the same time sometimes went that long before going on another date. And yet he couldn’t help the lump forming in his throat. “How long will you be gone?”

It was her turn to shift her focus to the list on the coffee table. “Right now, it’s up to twelve weeks.”

Duke stiffened. Twelve weeks? A distinct sense of dread filled his soul but before he could say anything, she laid down the hammer.

“It could get up to six months, though—maybe a year. It really depends on how many restaurants want me to visit. My manager really wants to do a fifty-two week run.”

He swallowed audibly. Long distance relationships rarely worked out and those were for short stints. This trip would take her away from him for an entire year. With everything still sonew, he didn’t know how they’d be able to reasonably make it work.

And he couldn’t beg her to stay. Sophie needed this.

His stomach roiled and his face flushed hot. It wasn’t normal to feel this way about a girl he’d only just met. Was he losing his mind? Or had he actually fallen so fast for her that the thought of not seeing her was making him physically ill?

Duke wanted to jump up from his seat, to scream and yell, to tell her she was being selfish and that they should have never started on this path since she’d known this was a possibility. He wanted to blame her for the ache in his chest while at the same time drop to his knees and beg for her to stay.

He did none of that.

“I see.” Those were the only words that he could push past the lump in his throat. Not only would asking her to stay hurt her career, but it would also cause resentment. He was stuck. They could try long distance and fail because of how much time they’d be separated from one another. Or he could convince her to postpone, and he’d lose her because he didn’t support her.

Sophie bit her lips together, watching him. What did she expect to happen? Did she want him to make a scene? Because he refused to do that, not after he’d already made a fool of himself in front of her the last time he lost his cool.

A small dog jumped onto the couch. The yorkie crawled into Sophie’s lap and she dropped his hand to prevent the pup from crossing over onto his. Daisy was about the same size as Gus. A twinge of longing for his own pet only added to the frustration and pain he was dealing with in this moment.

Maybe he should leave. He couldn’t stay here, waiting for her to say something that would only trigger his emotions. And at the same time he couldn’t leave. These might be the last few moments they’d be able to spend together.

“I thought we could talk about… us.” Her brows furrowed as her voice shattered the silence. “I know you said that long distance relationships don’t?—”

“Sophie,” he murmured softly, “I’m not going to change my mind on that particular subject.”

Her expression fell and it only made him feel worse. “It has nothing to do with you… or me… it’s just that…” he shrugged and turned his focus to the dog. “It’s hard to maintain something—especially something so new—when we can’t see each other every single day. Even with my family, it’s hard to maintain the closeness we once had.” He did his best to keep his voice strong, unyielding, so she knew exactly where he stood.

She shifted beside him and he heard a sniffle before she spoke. “Then maybe I shouldn’t go.”

Duke’s head snapped up. “No.” He grimaced at the tone of his voice. He hadn’t meant to sound so harsh. He didn’t want her thinking that he was upset with her for doing exactly what he’d done when he’d moved to the states to work here.

She jumped and her eyes darted to meet his in surprise.

“Sophie, you can’t throw away everything you worked for just for a guy you barely know.”

“I wasn’t throwing away?—”

---