Page 83 of The Temporary Roomie: Extended Edition

She starts backing out of the kitchen, and I slowly turn my eyes up to her and smirk.

“Oh no,” she whispers before whipping around and hightailing it out of the kitchen.

It’s no use, though. I’m faster than her and overtake her easily in the hallway. I grab her around the waist and haul her up to me. She laughs and kicks and quietly squeals, all while I carry her to the couch and deposit her on the cushions so I can tickle her relentlessly until our tickle war turns into something entirely different.

I am, without a doubt, the luckiest man alive.

BONUS EPILOGUE

Drew

Let me tell you something: forty-eight-hour shifts at the hospital, delivering babies, and performing emergency C-sections really hit different when you have two kids at home who never sleep. I understand the baby’s lack of sleep. Graham is only four months old, so he’s excused. But Jane . . . she’s three years old now.Three.I’m beginning to wonder if that child doesn’t even need sleep. She’s a new, terrifying super-breed of human that runs on the sleep-deprived tears of her parents. And it’s not fair that she’s so adorable. I immediately forgive her all of her sleepless transgressions the minute I look at her little round face and bouncing curls.

Basically, nothing makes sense anymore. I’m sleep-deprived and mad at my kids for never sleeping, and yet I’m hightailing it up my driveway because I’m eager to spend time with those very same children who are bound to wake me up a hundred times tonight.

And Jessie . . . my wife. A man shouldn’t miss a woman as much as I miss her when I’m gone for two days at the hospital. But I do. I’m dying for her. Deprived of her smiles and playfulness. Her achingly beautiful curves and the sweet peace she drenches my life in. Jessie has been a miracle, and I can’t wait to get inside and relax with her after a hard weekend.

Except, when I open my front door, I can’t find my home. It’s been replaced with a horrifying glitter explosion of a winter wonderland. My eyes immediately land on my wife, frozen in the middle of the living room holding one of our Christmas decoration tubs, and my sister also frozen, kneeling in front of a Christmas tree, mid-ornament hang.

We three stare at one another and blink.

“Stay very still, Luce,” Jessie stage-whispers. “I don’t think he’s seen us yet.”

I close my eyes and breathe, counting to ten. Did I say Jessie fills my life with peace? That must be my delirious sleep deprivation talking. I meant chaos. Marriage to Jessie is one long string of shenanigans. And it doesn’t help things that my sister is her best friend. The two of them get into more trouble together than a pair of burglars.

“Jessie,” I say slowly, opening my eyes to glare at my guilty-faced wife. “What in the hell has happened to my living room?”

She sets down her plastic tub and slowly walks toward me. Her blond hair is piled on her head, and black leggings are hugging her sexy body. Jessie has gotten curvier with each child, and damn, am I a lucky man.

“Hi, honey. You’re home!” She wraps her arms around my neck. I do not reciprocate the hug. Or the sparkly smile.

“Jessie . . .”

“Okay, don’t yell or you’ll wake the kids. Ijustgot them down for naps, and they haven’t napped at the same time in days.”

I frown. “When have I ever yelled?”

“Well, you look like a man who’s about to start.” She’s playing with the back of my hair. It’s a tactical move. Seduction. She’s trying to butter me up with physical promises for later, but I’m not biting. I’m strong. I can withstand this.

“Do you want to go back to our room with me and change out of these scrubs while I tell you all about it?” She’s dropped her voice down to a sultry tone.

My sister snickers beside the Christmas tree.

“No, I do not,” I tell Jessie sternly. “I want to know what all this is, and I want you to tell me it has nothing to do with a scheme of any kind.”

She scrunches her nose and sucks in a breath through her teeth. “Really wish I could, but . . .”

“It’s definitely a scheme!” Lucy says gleefully. She’s wearing a sweater covered in jingle bells.

I drop my gaze to Jessie. “Woman. I am running on zero sleep. I am hungry. I am grumpy. I am in no mood for games. Please tell me what all of this is about.”

“It’s a good thing I bought you the Jack Frost sweater to wear tonight,” she says playfully, but then she looks at my glare and backtracks. “Okay, fine! I’m sorry! Lucy and I—”

“Oh, no! There’s no Lucy and I!” my sister interrupts, standing back from the tree to put her hands on her hips. “I had nothing to do with this plan other than agreeing to come help you set up after you told me about it.” That’s usually the way it goes with these two.

Jessie air kicks Lucy. “You’re a terrible best friend. I hope Santa brings me a new one this year.” She turns back to me. “Okay, well, you remember that sweet lady, Ms. Dorothea, who Grandaddy met on his walk around the neighborhood the other day?”

I nod slowly, already not liking where this is going.

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