Page 5 of Muddy Messy Love

“Next time, stay silent. You have that right. Name and address—that’s all you need to give them.” She shakes her head. “What am I saying? There better not be a next time.

“AndSlade, Avery? I thought things ended when you found out about his girlfriend?”

I shrink further into the seat and swallow my shame. “He’s going to break up with her. He’s just waiting for the right time.”

“You don’t honestly believe that, do you?”

I shrug.Maybe. I did at first. I’m sure as hell still hoping he will. Does that count?

Beth rolls her eyes. “You know, for someone so smart, you’re incredibly naïve.”

My gaze falls to my lap, and I pick at my short fingernails, chipping away the lilac polish. Personal insults are typically Mum’s MO—not Beth’s.

As we hug Melbourne’s city fringe, I watch out the window in silence. The usual bumper-to-bumper traffic is at home asleep, leaving a surreal empty-movie-set calm. Skyscrapers cut through the night sky with sharp edges and neon lights, then shrink to obscurity as we leave them behind.

We cross into the affluent inner east, and I clear my throat. “So I’m going to your house, then?”

Beth flips on a blinker and takes the corner too fast, making her tyres chirp in protest. Her eyes flicker to mine, the coldness in them unfamiliar. “I can’t trust you, and it’s my money on the line.”

Her words punch me in the stomach.She can’t trust me?What, does she think I’ll skip town and cost her a fortune? I would never do that. Blinking back tears, I shake my head. “Are you done now?”

She pulls up her driveway and cuts the engine with a sigh. “That depends. Do you understand how serious this is, or is it a game to you?”

“A game?” I clench my molars. “Beth, in the last twenty-four hours, I’ve been evicted, charged, and my boyfriend’s gone to jail—of course it’s not a game. I fucked up, okay? I get it, and I’m miserable. Are you happy?” I dry my cheeks with the back of my hand, and Beth’s eyes saucer.

“You wereevicted?”

I nod, sniffling like the pathetic human I am. “He gave me notice yesterday. That’s why I went to Mia’s. I thought if I could get my money, I could change Old Frankie’s mind.”

Beth drops her head to the steering wheel and bangs it three times. “For heaven’s sake, Avery. Mum pulled all kinds of strings to get you that place.”

“Yeah, I know. It was her final motherly gesture before relinquishing her duties once and for all.”

Beth snaps her gaze to mine. “Is that what triggered all this? Mum leaving?”

I stare out my window, skimming the topiary shrubs and grey rendered facade of Beth’s narrow two-storey house. She’ll never understand the relationship I have with Mum. It comes down to one critical difference really—Mum actually likes Beth.

I love you because I have to, Avery Lee, but I don’t like you. Not at all.

Beth sighs. “You guys clashed anyway. You should be enjoying your new life away from the conflict, not mourning her absence.”

Beth’s right, but presenting logic to a wounded heart is like reasoning with a two-year-old—utterly futile. I know it’s stupid to feel abandoned at my age—I’m seventeen, not seven—but I counted on having a home. Somewhere to stay until I could stand it no more.Iwas meant to leave, not her. Besides, much of the conflict didn’t go with Mum. Most remains stuck inside me, festering like an infected wound.

Beth eyes me as if hearing my thoughts. “I know things weren’t easy after I moved out. I know Mum was difficult. But you need to let it go. For your own sake.”

Let it go.And how the hell do I do that? Beth makes it sound like a simple choice. As if I can snap my fingers and the junk twisted through me will disappear forevermore. It won’t. I’ve fucking tried. I’ve snapped my fingers until they bleed.

“What about your savings?” Beth asks.

I forage through my worn-out canvas satchel in search of a tissue to blow my nose and muffle my reply. “Gone.” It turns out school art competitions aren’t all that lucrative, even when you usually win.

Beth’s lips press firm, and she shakes her head.

“I’m sorry, okay. I know I screwed up, but I can’t deal with you hating me too.”

Her face softens, and in that moment, Armageddon ends. “I could never hate you, Aves, you know that. I just feel like I don’t know you anymore. Where’s my sweet little sister? The one with clay-smeared hands and big dreams?” She squeezes my knee, and my eyes fall shut. That feels like forever ago.

“You know, I expected you’d run a little wild the first time on your own—butburglary? What happened to you?” She tucks a pale lock of shoulder-length hair behind my ear, and her clear blue eyes—our one common feature—search my own. I want to give her answers, if only to prolong her tenderness, but my head’s a jumbled mess—a thousand-piece puzzle with no box to follow.

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