Page 45 of Muddy Messy Love

I shuck from his grip and wipe my eyes, regretting wearing make-up at all today. “It’s been two fucking weeks since you got out.”

“I’m sorry,” he says, stepping into my space. “I was busy.” He pulls me into a hug, and I let him. Sniffling all over his tight black tee. Relishing his soothing strokes of my hair. He’s bulked up since I last saw him. His embrace is strong and warm. It’s a shame he so seldom offered it.

“Gimme another chance, Aves. I’ll text you back. We can go out together—like to the movies and shit—and I’ll come see you all the time. It’ll be a vibe.”

He lifts my chin to meet his gaze, and I search his face for everything I idolised, awaiting old feelings to stir. But my belly doesn’t flutter. My heart doesn’t skip. And my mind mocks me for ever wanting more. All that remains is lust. Shallow. Empty. Lust.

Slade licks his lips, and I fight the temptation to taste him. One nibble might bring back everything else, but as he lowers his mouth towards mine, reality smacks me awake. “I tried to take the fall for you that night at Mia’s. Did you know that?”

Slade halts and straightens back up, his jaw ticking. “Well, it didn’t work, so what’s it matter?”

I frown. “And if it had? Would you have let me?” I stare at him as one…two…three seconds tick by, then let my eyes fall shut. “God, I’m an idiot.” I buck from his embrace and try to walk away, but he grabs my wrist.

“C’mon, babe. Of course I wouldn’t’ve let ya. But a slap on the wrist is all you woulda got anyway.”

“Not the point,” I say, turning to face him, jerking back my hand. “You made me an accomplice and then threatened me too.”

“Threatenedyou?”

“Yeah. Snitches get stitches, remember?”

Slade rolls his eyes, letting his head roll with them. “Well, I never meant it. You know I was trippin’. But who’d wanna be a rat, anyway?”

I scoff, but then Slade sneers. “You act all innocent and shit, Aves, but you’re the one that wanted to go there, remember? Mia owed you money, and you came tome.”

I stiffen. What is he implying? That Iwantedhim to swipe her laptop? I didn’t even know he was capable of that. I shake my head. “I only wanted a lift there. I was surprised you even followed me to her door.”

The sly smirk returns. “But you never tried to stop me, hey?”

“I was nervous and about to be homeless. I felt safer with you there. I never thought you’d steal anything, let alone stroll right into her house. You opened that door so casually I assumed it was her porch.”

He hitches a shoulder. “Well, it was unlocked, and you wanted your money, right?”

Loudly, I sigh at the pavement. It’s like we’re speaking different languages, but he is right about one thing. I didn’t try to stop him. Not when he followed me—not when he stole it—notafterwards either. In fact, I let him kiss me instead, right there on Mia’s ratty lawn. I was totally smitten and obviously brain-dead too.

Slade steps in and lifts my chin. “I was trying to help you, Aves. Don’t forget that part. I didn’t want you homeless neither.”

A spear of guilt hits my stomach. Sadly, I think that’s true. Sadder still is the fact this is our firstrealconversation. “I’m sorry,” he says again. “It was a dumb thing to do.” But I grit my teeth. I might not have seen us clearly before, but I sure as hell do now.

“It’s not enough,” I say, hugging my elbows. “It’s never been enough.”

Slade drops his hand and kicks up his chin. “What’s that meant to mean?”

I search his face one last time and then drag in a breath. “I mean it’s over, and we’re done.”

Slade huffs, but a spark of amusement still twinkles. “Are you for real?”

He’s not taking me seriously, but I guess he never did. Retrieving a sleeve to dry my cheeks, I firm my voice. “I’m sorry.”

The glint leaves his eyes, and that faint, ever-present smile disappears. Leaning in, I softly peck his cheek, hovering longer than necessary to tuck away his memory like a childhood keepsake. “Goodbye, Slade.”

I’d be proud of my strength—my dignity—if it wasn’t immediately ruined. On my third step backwards as Slade watches without words, I hit another wall of muscle. Frazzled, I turn to apologise to the person, only to meet another pair of familiar eyes. “Cole.”

Cole glares over my shoulder, his angular jaw tight, and the rain falls heavier, as if invoked by his presence. “Is everything okay here?”

My head dizzies. “Everything’s fine. I was just saying goodbye to a friend.”

His laser-sharp eyes stay locked on target, but his words are mine. “Care to accompany me to lunch?”

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