Page 30 of The Party Line

“Well, this cow isn’t for sale,” I huffed. “So Derrick can go find some other cows to build his empire on.”

Chapter Ten

Imumbled all the way down the stairs that Sunday morning, shot a dirty look toward the kitchen clock hanging on the wall, and poured myself a bowl of junk cereal for breakfast. Even as a child I hated daylight saving time. Changing the clocks in the spring and then switching back in the fall always seemed stupid to me—but then, Aunt Gracie might have instigated that in me since she complained every time we had to make an adjustment.

She always said that someday she was moving to Arizona, where they stayed on God’s time. For at least two weeks, my whole world was always turned upside down. The clock would say that it was noon, but my stomach would declare that it wouldn’t be hungry for another hour. My eyes would pop wide open an hour before the alarm went off, and no amount of beating my pillow would help me fall back to sleep. That first day always dragged like a snail making its way through molasses in zero-degree weather. Just when I would get adjusted to the new norm, winter would come along and we would get that hour back—of course, I didn’t want it by then, but who asked me?

I could almost hear Aunt Gracie fussing at me.I give you a house and enough money to choke a horse, and what do you do? Complain over one little hour. Pull up your big-girl under britches and suck it up.

“Hey, I got this attitude from you,” I protested.

But Aunt Gracie was right: one little hour shouldn’t spoil my Sunday morning. I had just taken the last bite of my chocolate-flavored cerealwhen the phone rang. I hurried up and swallowed before I grabbed the receiver. “Hello?”

“Mornin’, Lila,” Jasper said. “I won’t be going to church this morning.”

“Are you feeling all right?” I asked. “You aren’t feeling sick, are you? I’ve never known you to miss church.”

“This time change turns everything upside down for me. Always has, and me and Gracie decided a few years ago—after you left to go to college—that we wouldn’t go to church the morning after we fiddle with the clocks. So twice a year ...” He paused and coughed. “That was just springtime allergies. Don’t go thinkin’ I’m about to kick the bucket.”

“Can I bring you anything?” I asked. “Do you have medicine?”

“I don’t need pills. Never have been much for all the medicine doctors dole out. The side effects seem worse than what they’re tryin’ to cure, if you ask me. My granny brewed up lemon tea with honey for me during this time of year. I’ve had a cup this morning, and I’ve got the beans and corn bread you brought me last night, so I’m well fixed for the day. Me and Sassy are just going to stay inside and rest up. We’ll be fine when we get used to this time change. Always took me and Gracie at least a week to get adjusted.”

“If you get to feeling worse, will you call me?” I asked.

“You know I will.” Jasper’s chuckle was followed by another raspy cough. “You said I had to live until fall so we can celebrate my birthday.”

“That’s right,” I agreed. “Want me to bring you a bottle of Aunt Gracie’s whiskey?”

“No, darlin’, I’ve got my own brand. I’ll put a shot in my hot lemon tea this morning. The whiskey will knock out this little old cough real soon,” Jasper said. “See you later this evening or tomorrow. Bye, now.”

The click as he hung up told me he had called from his landline. I shook my fist at the ceiling. “And there you were, telling me not to grumble about the time change when you missed church because of it. Just for that, I’m going to clean out your closet this morning.”

I was marching up the steps like a woman on a mission when the ringtone on my cell told me my mother was calling. I stopped midway, sat down, and stretched my long legs out four steps below me. “Hello, Mama.”

“Who are you mad at?” she asked.

“What makes you think I’m mad at anyone?”

“I can always tell by your tone if you are angry, happy, or bored. Today, you are angry.”

“I hate the time change,” I declared.

Mama giggled. “Me too. But we’ll get over it in a week or two. It’s not fatal. What are you doing this morning since Jasper isn’t going to church?”

“So you know about the time change rule?”

“Of course I do,” Mama said. “Gracie said that the good Lord would understand because He wasn’t the one that sanctioned moving the clocks back and forth like that.”

“I agree with both of them,” I said. “How about you? Are you going to church this morning?”

“No, I’m not,” she said. “And I agree with them, too. By next weekend I’ll be in tune with the change, and I’ll be able to think about the sermon. Today, I might fall asleep and snore at the wrong time. I’m not even putting on shoes today. So, like I asked, what are you doing this morning?”

I looked down at my own bare feet and felt a bit liberated to not have to wear shoes, either. “Today, I’m cleaning out Aunt Gracie’s closet. Want to come help me?” I could almost feel her shiver at the idea.

“Thanks, but no thanks,” she said. “Annie is coming over this afternoon to talk about our new project.”

I stood up. “Do I need to be there?”

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