Page 27 of Own Me

CHAPTER 16

Sterling

I’m glad today is a Saturday. I’m usually in the office even on the weekends but I have to get my shit in order. I know these roses aren’t enough to make up for the shit I put Ayana through, but I need to start somewhere. I ring her doorbell and soon I can hear muffled steps coming towards the door. I’m surprised she doesn’t ask who it is before she flings the door open and faces me with a startled gasp.

“Oh, it’s you? What do you want?” Her voice is cold but her brown eyes hold sadness.

“I’m a fucking idiot, and I’m sorry.”

She laughs, but it’s not one filled with joy. Just the opposite in fact. “For what? For making me feel like a fool?”

Hurt flashes in her beautiful brown eyes. “No. Not a fool, Ayana. Never that. Can I come in?”

“If you must but hurry up.”

“I hand her the flowers and I step into Ayana's apartment, the atmosphere heavy with tension. The air is thick with unspoken words, and the weight of my mistakes hangs over us like a storm cloud. Ayana glances at the bouquet of roses in my hands, her expression unmoved.

"Nice flowers," she says, her tone dripping with sarcasm. "Are they supposed to magically erase everything you've done?"

I swallow hard, the lump in my throat growing with each passing second. "No, Ayana. I know I messed up, big time. This is just a small gesture, a way to say I'm sorry. I want to make things right."

She raises an eyebrow, skepticism written all over her face. "Make things right? Sterling, do you even understand the magnitude of what you've done?"

I nod, my gaze fixed on the floor. "I do. And I hate myself for it. I never meant to hurt you."

She sighs, her anger momentarily subsiding. "Sit down," she says, gesturing towards the living room.

I comply, taking a seat on the edge of the couch. Ayana remains standing, arms crossed, as if forming a barrier between us. The silence stretches, awkward and painful, until she finally speaks.

"Explain yourself, Sterling. I deserve to know why you did what you did."

You know the gest of it. "I messed up wanting to have my way. I’m such an asshole I wanted you to bend to my will. I was driving you to quit with my idiotic actions. I should have talkedto you, not try and staunch your fire, but instead, I pushed you away. And then... I did something unforgivable."

Her eyes narrow, urging me to continue. "I betrayed your trust. I allowed myself to hurt you by thinking I was interested in someone else, which is not the truth. I know I should have been upfront from the beginning. I let my controlling ways get the best of me, and now I've lost the most important person in my life."

Ayana's gaze softens, and for a moment, I see a flicker of sympathy. "You don’t want Lux? You two sure had sexual chemistry by the looks of it to me."

"I know, Ayana. I know, and I hate myself for it. I never wanted to hurt you, and I never wanted to lose you," I say, desperation creeping into my voice.

She remains silent for a while, the weight of my words hanging in the air. "Why should I believe you now, Sterling? You allowed me to believe in your games.”

I bow my head, acknowledging the truth in her words. "You're right. I messed up, and I can't change that. All I can do is try to make amends, to show you that I'm willing to do whatever it takes to earn back your trust."

Ayana's eyes search mine for sincerity, and after a moment, she nods. "Actions speak louder than words, Sterling. If you're serious about making things right, you have a long way to go."

"I know, and I'm willing to do whatever it takes. I just need a chance to prove myself," I plead.

She sighs, a mixture of frustration and resignation. "You hurt me, Sterling. I need time to process this."

"I understand," I say, my heart sinking. "I'll give you all the time you need. But please, don't shut me out completely. I love you, Ayana, and losing you is my biggest regret."

She looks away, and I can see the internal struggle in her eyes. "Love is not enough, Sterling. Trust is earned, and you've shattered mine."

I nod, accepting the harsh truth. "I'll do whatever it takes to earn it back. I won't give up on us."

The room falls into silence once again, the weight of my mistakes lingering in the air. As I sit there, I know that the road to redemption will be long and difficult, but for Ayana, I'm willing to take that journey.

Ayana sighs and crosses her arms across her chest. This causes her breasts to almost spill from her V-neck shirt. My dick jerks to attention beneath my slacks.

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