Page 10 of Own Me

“Alright.” Shayla walks toward the cashier.

Thank God the restrooms are on the opposite side of the restaurant from where Chris is sitting. I make quick work of using the bathroom and washing my hands. Then, I walk out the door with my head down.

“Excuse me!” A feminine voice exclaims as we bump into one another.

“Ayana!” I hear my boyfriend’s voice. I look over, and there is Chris by the woman’s side.

My eyes narrow on Chris as I glance between him and the unknown woman. Then, I turn on my heels and walk away without a word. The son of a bitch doesn’t deserve any.

Iget out of the shower and put on my favorite pajamas with the brown teddy bears and black ZZZ’s across the worn flannel. I slide my feet into fuzzy slippers, find my way into my tiny kitchen, take a small carton of strawberry ice cream, and grab a spoon on the way out. Soon I’m curled up on the sofa in front of the television and deeply engrossed in the reality show Love is blind. I need this to take my mind off what happened earlier.

I almost drop the spoon in my hand when I hear a knock at the door.

“Hey, Babe. Can I come in?” I hear Chris’s voice through the door, but I stare at the television and ignore him, bringing another spoon of ice cream to my mouth.

I’m surprised he came by tonight. It’s been hours since I saw him at the restaurant.

Chris pounds harder on the door, but I continue staring at the television. Finally, he bangs his fist so hard that the wood frame shakes and yells, “I’m not going anywhere. You might as well open the door.”

I exhale, place my ice cream on the table, stand, and march over to the door. I yank it open and confront Chris, who has his hand raised in a fist to knock again.

He places his hand by his sides and asks, “May I come in? I can explain.”

I step back from the door to let him in because this conversation is long overdue. But I must be honest with myself and him. This relationship has been over for a long time now.

“Yeah, come on in.” I open the door further. I have no clue what he could possibly say to justify his lying and cheating, but I am ready to enjoy the show before I dump his sorry ass.

Chris storms in and stands in the middle of my living room. He runs a hand over his close crop fade. I inhale his familiar scent of patchouli, but I don’t get tingles from it as I did months ago. We stand there, silent and taking in one another. My eyes are drawn to his birthmark. Even though he has always hated the mark, I used to think it was perfect. Now, I never want to see it ever again.

“Do you want to sit?” I raise my palm to the couch.

His shoulders drop. “Yeah.” He flops on the sofa.

I take the lounge chair across from where he’s sitting.

“Yana, I’m sorry,” he says, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees.

“Why did you lie to me, Chris? Were you really on a business trip?”

“I didn’t lie completely. I went on a business trip, but I finished earlier than expected. Stephanie and I work together. So, she traveled with me.”

“On business?”

“No, she went along because I asked her to. And before you ask, she did know I had a girlfriend. I just never told her your name. I can promise you it’s nothing serious, Ayana. I want to make us work if you’ll forgive me. I will do anything to make this?—”

“I had sex with someone else last night, Chris,” I blurt out.

Chris jumps to his feet. “What the hell, Ayana?”

“I want to break up. I think that’s the best thing?—”

“We’ve been together almost two years, and you want to break up with me after you fucked some other dude? You’re nothing but a whore!” He shouts, standing in front of me.

I shoot up from the chair. “How dare you call me a whore!”

Chris has some nerve to be as upset as he is. I breathe in and out before I speak again. “Funny, you’re so ready to name-call me, but I’m sure you had sex with Stephanie while you were away.”

“You’re damn straight! I’ve been fucking Stephanie for the past six months.”

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