Page 132 of Deception

“Why?” Madison asked.

“She was my mother.” The words were simple but heartfelt. “I forgave her a long time ago for what she did. That doesn’t mean I didn’t get angry about it sometimes, or approved of it, or that I had to be around her, but I do believe she loved me in her own way. She thought she was doing what was best for me when she made me give you up for adoption.”

Madison didn’t agree. “I—”

“Hear me out. She was fifteen when I was born, and while her parents allowed her to marry my father, it didn’t work out. He disappeared before I was born, and she didn’t want you to go through what I went through—being hungry, living in bug-infested apartments, never enough heat or air.

“She could have taken the money and lived off of it, but instead she created a safe place for unmarried, pregnant women.” Terri held up her hand. “I know she profited from it, but still, she could have taken it all.”

“I understand.” Clayton walked to the door. “I’ll ask if you can have a few minutes with her.”

“I understand too,” Dani said and put her arms around Terri again.

Well, Madison didn’t, and she didn’t understand the peace on Dani’s and Terri’s faces. What was she missing?

71

Clayton climbed the steps to the gazebo with Madison. It’d been a week since Judith Winslow’s death, and the funeral earlier today had been a private affair with only Terri, Dani, Madison, and Clayton in attendance.

He hadn’t been certain Madison would go, but in the end, she went to support Terri. It had cost her a lot emotionally, and that was why he’d brought her downtown to Bluff Park overlooking the Mississippi. He’d felt it was safe enough since all the law enforcement officers involved in the case believed Steven had been the one who’d shot Dani and then fired on them in the hospital parking lot. On the off chance everyone was wrong, Clayton had Brooke Danvers still combing through Madison’s cases when she had time.

She turned to him. “How can Dani and Terri forgive Judith Winslow?”

It was a difficult question to answer. He turned, and a cool breeze from the west brushed his face. At four in the afternoon, the sun was still fairly high. Storms were forecasted for later, but for now, cumulus clouds dotted the sky. One blocked the direct rays of the sun with beams shooting out the top and bottom. Below, the great river silently flowed toward New Orleans as he thought about Madison’s question.

Forgiveness required giving up her right to resentment andrevenge. Instinctively he knew that would be the wrong thing to say. Clayton took a breath and sent a prayer heavenward for words that wouldn’t make matters worse. “Have you asked Dani and Terri?”

She shook her head and turned back to face the river as a barge came into view.

“Maybe that would be a starting place.” Cop-out. He braced his hands on the railing. “Can I ask you something?”

Madison dipped her head, and he took that for a yes. “Have you forgiven Chad Turner for trying to kill you?” He was taking a risk in case she hadn’t.

“I didn’t have any choice—I killed him.”

She was also dealing with guilt. “You’ve released your resentment and wanting to get revenge to God?”

“He’s dead. That was more than enough revenge.”

“But what if he were alive?”

Her face reddened. “I don’t know. It would be difficult. Have you forgiven everyone who ever wronged you?”

“As far as I know, I have.”

“Even your brother-in-law who deserted your sister and niece?”

“Even him.”

“How could you do that? He turned his back on them.”

Clayton didn’t answer right away, trying to choose his words. “Because God forgave me for all the ways I’ve hurt others. Was it easy? One of the hardest thing I’ve ever done.”

Madison pressed her lips together, and the muscle in her jaw worked furiously. Then she stilled. “How did you do it?” she whispered.

“Ididn’t. God did it in me. But I had to give up my right to be angry and resentful. And sometimes forgiveness isn’t a one-and-done deal. A few days out of his Word and I find myself slipping back into pointing a self-righteous finger at Jake. That’s when God finds a way to remind me of my gambling addiction.”

“It doesn’t sound easy.”

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