Page 97 of Crosshairs

“I knew what a good voice you had, and that you had the potential to be a big star. And that scared me.”Tell her you still love her.His heart hammered his ribs. The words stuck in his throat. Intuitively he knew she wasn’t ready to hear them.

50

Ainsley stared at Linc, not sure she’d understood him. “You believed in me? But I thought you discouraged me because you didn’t think I was good enough.”

“That absolutely was not the reason I discouraged you. When you quit singing, the world lost a beautiful voice. I had no idea there was anything wrong with it.”

He thought her voice was beautiful? The words washed over her like a balm. But even though his voice had the ring of truth in it, she still had questions. “Why didn’t you call me when you learned I wasn’t on the road any longer?”

Regret filled his eyes. “You’d been around famous people. All that glitz and glamor. I thought once you had that taste of fame, you’d never be happy with someone like me.” He took her hand. “I think you should see a specialist. Maybe there’s something that can be done, something that wasn’t available eleven or twelve years ago.”

See another doctor? The round of specialists she’d seen when she lost her voice had resulted in one disappointment after another. And even if she regained her voice, she wouldn’t want to resume her career. Being on the road had been harder than anything she’d ever faced. She was older now and didn’t have thefire in the belly to pursue such a demanding dream. Especially since it wasn’t her dream any longer.

“If you could do anything in the world,” he asked, “what would it be?”

“What I’m doing,” she said without hesitation.

“Why?”

Ainsley had never thought about why she enjoyed her work so much. “When I returned to college after leaving the group, I took a criminal justice course. That one course hooked me,” she said.

Linc tilted his head toward her. “I’ve been meaning to ask how you ended up as a ranger.”

“That’s an easy question—I had a roommate whose brother was a seasonal ranger, and he kind of opened the door for me.” A car pulled into the drive. “I think I hear Gran.”

When her grandmother entered the kitchen, she took one look at them and said, “Am I interrupting something? Like maybe a proposal?”

“Gran!” Ainsley’s face felt as red as Linc’s had turned.

“You both looked so serious,” she said, setting her Bible on the counter beside her purse.

“It wasn’t like that,” Linc said, “but if anything of that nature ever happens, you’ll be the first person we tell.”

“Good.” Gran surveyed the kitchen. “I’m hungry. Let’s get dinner on the table. Somebody tell that officer to join us.”

An hour later, Ainsley put her fork down and stretched. “I don’t want to get used to eating like this,” she said. Shawn had said much the same thing before he returned to his patrol car.

“You could use a few pounds,” Gran replied.

She grinned for an answer. “You want to take a nap before we go to the hospital?”

“Nope. Visiting time is in twenty minutes. Let’s load the dishwasher and go.” She turned to Linc. “You coming?”

“Can you wait until I change clothes? I have jeans and a shirt at Cora’s.”

After he hustled out the back door, Gran turned to her. “I’m sorry about church. I didn’t think about Brother Reece asking you to sing.”

“No problem,” she said lightly.

“But I think it is a problem. One you need to resolve.” Gran tilted her head. “Do you wish you were back on the road again, singing backup and occasionally a solo?”

“Not that it’s a possibility, but no. I like what I’m doing.”

Gran patted her arm. “I always prayed for God to put his desires in your heart. And if it was that singing career that you worked so hard for, then doors would open. And if that wasn’t what he wanted for you, that your desires would change.” Gran squeezed her hand. “I think I have my answer.”

Could it be possible that God really did care for her? Care about what she wanted? Ainsley wished she could believe God wasn’t out there just waiting for her to mess up so he could squish her with his thumb. Like her dad.

Can’t you do anything right? That is so stupid. What were you thinking?All her growing-up years, he’d pronounced those words over her.“It’s kind of hard to see God when the only example I have of a father is Dad. We’ve butted heads ever since I can remember. Nothing I’ve ever done has been good enough or the right decision.”

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