Page 111 of Crosshairs

Linc had thought about a different therapist and dismissed it, but maybe it was time ... “I’ll look into it. Why don’t you go on to bed? I’ll lock up.”

“I think I’ll let you. Thanks for the help.” Her smile erased the tired lines around her eyes, but more than that, it lit his world until his failure taunted him again.

Failure.He tried to block the word from his mind as Ainsley walked out of the library. All his old fears settled in his heart. She deserved better than him.

When he’d stopped seeing the counselor, Linc had vowed to overcome his fear on his own. He had God—what more didhe need? Except God had been silent. Maybe he didn’t deserve his help.

Linc shook the thought off. He would not buy into that garbage.Lord, give me more faith. He wasn’t sure what he expected—maybe a magic bullet or a sudden infusion of strength, but it wasn’t forthcoming.

When you don’t know what to do, do the next thing.That had always been Linc’s mantra.

He emptied the bucket in the sink and rinsed it out, then descended the stairs to make sure Jonathan had locked the basement door, which he had. After he checked the other two doors, he climbed the stairs to the guest bedroom.

Pain radiated from his neck when he rotated his head. He was tight as an overwound spring, and he rolled his aching shoulders and neck. The joints popped and cracked, but they released. Now if he could just release...

“God, I need your help.” His gaze fell to the Bible on the nightstand beside the bed. While he read the Bible every day, lately he hadn’t really studied it ... it’d been more like checking off a box. Maybe that was why God had been silent.

He thumbed through the Bible, and a bookmark fell out. Linc picked it up. It listed ten problems with accompanying Scripture verses and one that was handwritten, probably by Cora. Deuteronomy 8:2.“Remember how the LORDyour God led you all the way in the wilderness these forty years, to humble and test you in order to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep hiscommands.”

Humbling. Testing.If that’s what God had been doing, once again Linc had failed the test. He’d never liked asking for help. Evidently that was part of his problem. He was too proud to acknowledge he couldn’t overcome this on his own.

But he had acknowledged it. To the psychologist, to Ainsley, even to God ... But had he really? Or had he just been giving it lip service? He’d certainly not searched the Scriptures for answers.

Truth seared his soul. He was like the alcoholic who admitted he had a problem but went right on drinking. Deep down, Linc believed if the reason was compelling enough, he could pick up his Glock again. If protecting Ainsley wasn’t compelling, what was?

Cora had written one more Scripture reference on the bookmark. Joshua 1:9. “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORDyour God will be with you wherever yougo.”

“Okay, God, I’m claiming this.” And starting tomorrow, he would be looking for other verses.

Linc set his phone alarm for six and crawled into bed. When the alarm went off three and a half hours later, Linc was tempted to ignore it. But he had to be at Melrose at eight, and he had a stop to make beforehand. Groggy, he staggered to the shower and turned it on. Minutes later, the stinging water pounded him awake. After he dressed, he eased downstairs to keep from waking Ainsley.

The new pod coffee maker sat on the counter, but hadn’t Cora made coffee in a percolator when he first started helping her? He searched the cabinets, hitting gold when he discovered the stainless-steel coffee maker along with filters and coffee. Decaf. He eyed the pods beside the new coffee maker and quickly emptied several into the percolator basket. Once he had it going, the aroma of freshly brewed coffee filled the kitchen.

Footsteps down the hall alerted him that Ainsley was up, and he poured her a steaming cup and added a dash of creamer. “Hazelnut, right?” he said, handing it to her.

Even in an oversized bathrobe and with messy hair, she was beautiful. What would it be like to spend every morning with her?

Might as well get that thought out of his head. While he loved Ainsley, the problems in their past needed to be worked out, and they hadn’t even discussed what happened. Today wasn’t the dayto discuss it either. Too little sleep and a long agenda for them both would not bode well for that kind of talk.

“Where’d you find the percolator?” Ainsley took a sip and, judging by the way she half closed her eyes, savored it.

“It was under the counter. I knew Cora had one somewhere, and I didn’t think she would mind if we used it. What’s first on your docket today?”

“Call the hospital. Talk to the principal at the high school, and after that, hopefully talk to a few of the boys Hannah hung out with. Maybe we can get a lead from one or more of them.”

“How about your dad?” he asked.

Ainsley tensed. He could tell she didn’t want to add him to the list.

“He’s probably on the road. Maybe I’ll talk to him tomorrow.”

He nodded. “I’ll be at Melrose until four thirty, but let’s touch base later.”

“How about you?” she asked. “Anything special going on?”

“No, the same old same old—check everything out, tours of the house, that sort of thing.” He took a sip of coffee. “What would you like for breakfast?”

“Cereal.” When he started to protest that she needed something more substantial, she palmed her hand. “That’s all my stomach will take right now. I’ll pick up something more later.” She fished her phone out of the robe.

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