Page 32 of Obsession

That made two of them. It’d seemed her only choice at the time, but she wasn’t proud of that time in her life. “I was soangry at Ryan for deserting me, the family. He wasn’t here to blame, but you were.”

“But you had started pulling away even before Ryan left.”

“I don’t remember it that way,” she said. “You were the one pulling away.”

Sam stiffened. “What are you talking about? I had just asked you to marry me.”

No ... Hehad beenpulling away—just like her high school boyfriend who dumped her for someone else.

That had been the last time she’d been humiliated because of a relationship. At her first doubt, she ended it before the other person could. Emma raised her gaze, and the pain in Sam’s eyes almost undid her. What if she’d been wrong about him all these years?

“But you let me go without a fight,” she said, her voice low. “I thought it was what you wanted.”

He set his cup down and moved from the recliner to the sofa beside her and took her hand. “I thoughtyouwanted out.”

She’d probably given that impression. “It wasn’t just that I thought you were pulling away. I was so hurt when Ryan deserted us, and I took it out on you.” She couldn’t think with him so close, his fingers covering her left hand. Emma swallowed hard and pulled from his grasp, immediately missing the strength his touch conveyed. Her wrist throbbed again, and she held her hand to her chest, above her heart.

“Hurting again?”

“A little.” Not nearly as much as her heart. “I’m sorry for the things I said when he went missing.”

Sam was quiet for a minute. “I really wish you could accept that whatever happened that night wasn’t my fault and it wasn’t your fault either.”

He hadn’t heard the words she’d hurled at Ryan. “I wish my head could believe you about my part.”

“I understand—I really do. Ryan was my best friend, and in the beginning, I blamed myself after he disappeared.”

She bit her lip. “You had no choice, not with your sister stuck on the side of Highway 61 with a flat tire. Ryan was too old for a babysitter, and your sister needed help.”

His face flushed. “There’s—”

“You don’t owe me any explanation. I know you hated what happened.” Even now she could remember the sadness in his eyes when he learned Ryan hadn’t come home.

“I...” He bit his lip. “That doesn’t mean I don’t feel really bad about it.”

“I know you do. I just wish I knew where he is and why he’s never contacted us.” She ached all over and rubbed the back of her neck. “His disappearance split our family apart. It was too much for Mom and Dad’s marriage, and it caused a huge rift between Mom and me. She’ll barely discuss Ryan with me anymore.”

“What do you mean?”

Emma stretched the tight muscles in her neck. If she wasn’t careful, she’d get a migraine. She raised her head. “You know Ryan’s history. The marijuana. Drinking. It’s no wonder he and my parents didn’t get along. Dad was a little more lenient—Mom always said he enabled Ryan. They were always fighting about him.”

“Yeah,” Sam said. “I remember those days. I was even part of the problem for a while.”

“But you quit.” She frowned. “Did you ever even use marijuana?”

“No. And I stopped drinking when our coach gave us an ultimatum—alcohol or football. I chose football—”

“And my brother chose drinking.” She blew out a breath. “Maybe if I hadn’t been the favorite, it would have made a difference in him.”

“I don’t think your parents consciously made you their favorite.”

“He thought they did, especially Mom. Said she always believedme over him. According to Ryan, I was Little Miss Perfect in her eyes.”

“Well, you were the ‘good’ kid. You didn’t give them any trouble.”

“I didn’t want any of Mom’s tough love.” A dull throbbing started on the side of her head, and Emma pulled the ponytail holder off, letting her hair fall free. “Mom thought I was as bad as Dad about enabling him, covering for him when he messed up.”

“What I remember is you pushing him to stop drinking and finish his degree,” Sam said gently.

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