Page 66 of Getting It Twisted

“Yeah. I’ll come home with you.”

That night, I lie awake and listen to his breathing. I pray he has a dreamless sleep, without any nightmares or vicious thoughts.

Instead, I’m the one who dreams.

I’m standing in the middle of a dark void. Nathan is there, in the distance with his back turned. I run to him, but as soon as my body crashes into his, he evaporates from my embrace like thin smoke. I turn around and see his body take shape anew. I embrace him again, and again he disappears.

It continues in loops, over and over, until one time, I cannot find him again. I roam the dark void for hours, for days. But he’s gone. He’s left me again.

I’m alone.

I wake up with a jolt. My heart is racing, and cold sweat seeps through my skin. I shift to Nathan’s side and clutch him close. He makes a soft sound in his sleep and presses against me.

My heartbeat slows, but the feeling of helplessness in my chest won’t abide. I lie awake for a long time, listening to the creaks of the wind rushing through the house.

I refuse to let anything happen to him. He’s mine now, and I won’t let him go. But what if I can’t stop him slipping away from me? What if one day, he’s just gone without a word?

I can’t go through that again. I just can’t.

I grip him closer, inhaling the smell of his hair. He sighs in his sleep and nuzzles into my neck.

I hold no illusions I can pin him down like I pinned him with my body last night. Any day now, something can go wrong, and I’ll be hopeless to stop him from turning his back on me again.

Chapter 13

Nathan

Daniel crosses his arms,leaning against the bathroom doorway. “I told you; I won’t choke you again until we have a safe word.”

I pop the mascara wand back into its tube. “And I’ve toldyoujust to pick one.”

“Even if we had one, would you use it?” The insistence in his voice, that moralizing, highbrow challenge in his eyes . . . He doesn’t get it.

I want to feel like I’m sinking into someone else’s mercy. I want to lose control and let go of myself, let go of everything. I’ve tried explaining this to him about a hundred times in the past two weeks.

If I can just say a word or make a gesture and be in control again in the blink of an eye, it defeats the purpose . . . But maybe that’s just my nonexistent sense of self-preservation talking.

“I trust you. And I trust you not to hurt me for real.”

He shakes his head. “But I don’t trustyou, how about that?”

I scowl into the mirror, tracing my eyes with a thin layer of eyeliner. He’ll come around soon enough. Choking is off the menu, but he holds no qualms about spanking my ass until it’s red like a traffic sign.

For the past two weeks, we’ve fucked like rabbits. In every constellation imaginable, in every room of the house. I pick him up from work, we get something to eat, and then we spend the rest of the evening exploring each other’s bodies. I’ve made a game of how quickly I can get him to come, and he’s made a game of how quickly he can get me to beg for his dick. We’ve even set timers and everything. Needless to say, he always wins the latter.

Our newfound routine has also meant Friday came along sooner than I wanted or expected, and Friday means Joshua and his sleazy, drugged-up party.

Daniel nods at me. “Do you really have to dress like that?”

“Why? Worried I’ll get unwanted attention?”

He joins me by the mirror, lines up against my back, and growls into my ear, “Yeah, that too. But mostly because I’ll have trouble keeping my hands off you.”

True to his words, his hands encircle my exposed midriff. The outlines of my nipples peek through the sheer material of my top, and my sleek leather pants are so tight I have trouble moving. Delicate silver feathers dangle from my earlobes, and the makeup further enhances the look: coal-black eyeliner and a trace of pink lip gloss.

“We could give them a show,” I say with a grin. “These parties go pretty wild, you know. I walked in on a three-way once.”

Daniel shakes his head, nose buried in the crook of my neck. His arms encase my body, and our pose emphasizes how he’s taller than me, bigger than me, stronger than me. His fingerstravel further up my front, slither into my top, and twist both my nipples. I lean back against him, and a groan escapes my mouth as his lips press against the line of my throat. He rolls his hips, letting me feel his swelling cock. His movements nudge the butt plug I’ve got secretly pushed up my ass.

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