Page 94 of See You at the Finish Line

I rush into the hospital and an orderly takes me up to the ICU, to Leah. She’s lying on the bed, wires hooked up everywhere, and she looks as broken and fragile as I feel. A sob bursts out of me as I throw myself into the chair beside her. I want to wrap her up, to whisk her away and bring her home where I can hold her and take care of her. I want to never set foot in this hospital again.

At least she’s breathing. My mind flashes to my mom lying in a similar room, but no monitors beeped. No wires were hooked up.

Leah is here and she’s alive.

She’s not our mom.

I made it in time and she is not dying.

I tell myself over and over again. I imagine my rational self talking to my hysterical self and calming me down, like my therapist taught me.

She doesn’t wake. It’s so hard to leave, but I let a nurse take me to Levi. He’s sitting up in his crib and is so much bigger than when I left three months ago. Seeing him on a screen is so different than holding him in my arms. I pick him up and he giggles, grabbing at my hair.

“Hey, Levi, baby, Auntie Paige is here. Everything is going to be okay.” I breathe in his delicious baby scent and let him soothe me. “Ow. Hey, stop pulling Auntie’s hair,” I tell him, but like the little rebel he is, he doesn’t let go. I won’t let go either.

“Can I bring him to see Leah?” I ask the nurse.

She swears me to secrecy since I’m not really supposed to. I have to sign a whole bunch of paperwork and show all my IDs. I’m glad they’re taking this seriously—they’re probably petrified of a lawsuit.

As I carry Levi down to Leah, I start to doubt whether it’s a good idea. I’m about to turn into the room when I hear a low timbre voice, stopping me dead in my tracks.

“Hey, Leah,” Adam says. I peek around the door frame to see him sitting in the chair beside Leah’s bed, bent over with his elbows resting on his knees. Leah isn’t awake.

“We haven’t officially met, but I’ve heard a lot about you. Maybe you’ve heard about me too. I think Paige is mad at me, so try not to hold that against me. I’m Adam and I’m in love with your sister. I’m about to be the biggest asshole ever because I’m going to selfishly ask you to wake up so I can feel good about telling her. If you could do me that solid, that’d be great.”

I have to stifle a laugh because Adam is the least selfish person I know.

“And I know that you waking up would bring the biggest smile to her face. I’m sure you know the one—it lights up the whole damn world. I haven’t seen it in years. So don’t hold my selfishness against me, because all I want is whatever would make her smile like that, even if it isn’t me. She’s been through somuch. She can’t lose you, Leah. You know it better than I do because you were there. Levi needs you too, so there’s always your son.” He laughs and my heart swells, growing three sizes. I try to sneak away but Levi sneezes, busting me.

I walk into the room like I didn’t just hear the man I’m in love with pour his heart out to my unconscious sister.

“Hey, look who’s here for a visit!”

Adam stands from his chair, and I pretend not to notice his flushed cheeks.

“Hey, I was telling your sister that you’d kick her ass if she didn’t wake up soon.”

“I’m surprised that didn’t work,” I say, ignoring the way my heart is beating out of my chest.

“Levi,” I say, turning to the baby in my arms. “This is Adam, and he’s trying to use Auntie Paige to threaten Mommy into waking up. Do you think that will work? Should we threaten Mommy some more?” I coo. He responds by sticking his hand into my mouth.

“Hey, buddy,” Adam says, walking over to us. He helps extract the baby fist that’s trying to scratch my gums out. “It’s nice to meet you. Your Auntie is a meanie, eh? Don’t worry, I’m learning that’s how she shows affection.” His eyes flash up to mine and he gives me a big grin.

“You’ll learn, Levi, that sometimes people hear what they want, and if Adam thinks me being mean to him means something else, that’s his problem.” Levi giggles.

“What are you teaching my kid?” a voice croaks from behind us.

“Leah!” I exclaim, running over to her, and plop in the chair with enough force, it scrapes against the floor with a loud screech. Levi immediately tries to grab at the wires attached to his mom.

“Here, let me take him.” Adam swoops in and scoops Levi from my arms. I’m distracted by his muscles holding a baby.

Daddy.

The word pops into my head and I can’t get it out. Shit. I shake my head and look back at Leah. She’s trying to smile but her lips are cracked.

“Levi’s okay?” she asks desperately, her eyes glued to her son. I can’t hold back the sob that bubbles up my throat.

“He’s okay, totally fine, Lee,” I assure her. “You, on the other hand, look terrible.” Tears well up in my eyes and I take her hand, unable to stop the smile that bursts onto my face. It is a struggle not to turn to Adam.

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