Page 62 of See You at the Finish Line

I do not talk to Adam the next day. After my morning kickboxing class, I’m full of confidence and rage, ready to get this over with.

And then I see him from across the room, laughing at something Julien said.

All my bravado melts away and I can’t do it. The small voice of doubt gets louder, and I can’t open myself up to the potential of getting hurt by this man again. Instead, I ignore him like I should have from the start. Apparently, that was his strategy too, because it works. He ignores me as well.

Fine. That is just fine.

Shay picks me upearly Sunday morning for yoga the next week. It was tough getting out of bed, but I know how good this class willbe for my body. That doesn’t stop me from slamming the passenger side door a little harder than necessary.

“Good morning, sunshine!” Shay says brightly. I stick my tongue out at her.

It’s a quiet drive to the yoga studio and I watch the sun stretch its rays over the mountains. The water gives way to the fiery horizon, magnifying the incredible colours.

Finally, another sunny day. I haven’t had one since I discovered the bay when the tide was out. I’ve been researching the tide so I can go with Q but haven’t been able to make it work yet with my schedule.

We chat with classmates as we make our way into the building. I know I’ve made us a few minutes late and I hope our spots at the back aren’t taken.

When I open the door to the stifling hot room, I stop short causing Shay to crash into me. There, in our spot, are Adam and Mateo, stretching. Shay tries to pop her head up behind me to see what the hold-up is, but she’s too short.

I push open the door to let her in, and she can’t stop the giggle that bursts out.

The sound causes several people to look over at us, including Adam and Mateo. Mateo waves enthusiastically and my hand raises all by itself to return the gesture. Traitor.

“They came,” Shay says, still laughing.

“I see that.”

Mateo jogs over to us.

“We saved some spots for you!”

“Gee, thanks,” I mumble. Shay sets up in front of Mateo, leaving the space in front of Adam wide open.

“Hey,” he says. My eyes trail the drop of sweat already beading on his forehead.

“Hi.” Does my voice always sound so strangled?

Turning away from him, I roll out my mat and lie on my back. I find my breathing. At least, I try to. Adam’s presence is like a living current of energy all around me and I’m too aware of him to be centred.

The instructor leads us through the opening sequence with a heavy breathing exercise. I eventually manage to clear my head until he has us stretch up into downward dog, giving me the perfect view of the muscles cording around Adam’s neck through my legs.

My mind is a dirty place right now, bent over in front of him this way. All I can think of is how he should be underneath me, or behind me. Or how a different view of him between my legs would be preferable.

I sense his eyes on me the whole class, but it doesn’t feel the same as when the instructor stares. It’s not slimy—it’s soft and caressing.

I’m so hot and it’s not because the temperature is a million degrees. It’s because I’m seeing how flexible Adam is, how the veiny muscles on his arms flex in all sorts of positions. His forearms, God, his forearms.

Am I salivating?

When I catch Shay’s eye, she winks at me, her eyes darting to Mateo. He’s lean, like a runner, and is equally flexible. He looks likethe kind of guy who does yoga on a mountain after a hike to the summit. But my attention never strays from Adam for long.

The heat is getting to my head because I cannot stop staring, no matter how many times he catches me watching him. Does that mean he’s watching me too?

I’m grateful I wore all black today because I’m a lot wetter than I usually am at the end of a class. And it’s not just sweat.

The instructor guides us through the movements, trying to bring our focus back to our breathing, and I’m trying, I really am. But my legs feel like jelly, and I cannot get rid of the need pulsing through me. What is it about sweating in hot places next to Adam that turns me on?

The class ends and I thank the universe for putting me out of my misery. Until we walk outside.

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