Page 17 of See You at the Finish Line

“I’m not ditching you Caleb, I just ... I don’t know, I feel like she’s in trouble.”

Caleb shakes his head and his grip tightens.

“You don’t owe her anything.”

I yank my arm out of his hold, not understanding how he could be so callous.

“She might need help.”

“Look, just because you want to fuck her doesn’t mean she needs help.”

My face heats, my own temper flaring to meet his. “Watch it, Caleb.”

He looks surprised at my tone. I rarely call him out on his shit. I can’t say that I don’t care about Paige, but I honestly think that if it was someone else who needed help, I’d still want to go back.

“I’m sorry, Adam, it’s shitty of you to leave me by myself.”

He’s not wrong. I don’t want to leave him alone. But it’s been thirty-five minutes now and she’s still not here.

“I can’t leave her.”

Caleb sighs, resignation mixing with his anger. “She’d better be worth it.”

“Are you going to be okay without me?” I ask, knowing the question will grate on his nerves.

“Of course. I’m not a baby.”

“Okay, then I’m going back. I’ll try to catch up.” I tear down the path, hoping I’m not drawing too much attention to myself. It’s not technically against the rules, but they can threaten to remove me from the race. I could also get a time penalty. It would be worth it as long as I find her.

“Come on, Paige, where are you?” I whisper to myself.

Base Camp29.08 mi/ 46.8 km

This rain sucks. This rain sucks balls. This rain sucks hairy, overgrown, saggy balls. I trudge through the mud, trying like hell not to have a mental breakdown as I attempt to find my way back to the path.

Just as I was almost at the bottom of Jacob’s Ladder the ground gave way to rocks loosened by the rain. I stumbled on those loose rocks and slipped off the path, on my ass, all the way to the bottom—the bottom of the wrong damn side of the stupid cliff.

I tried hiking back up the way I slid but it was impossible. My feet couldn’t find purchase. My phone wasn’t working because of the storm, so I did what any irrational, insane person would do and tried to find my way back to the path on my own. I headed in the direction I thought we were going, the creased map I printed out nearly unreadable thanks to the rain.

“I’m so sick of this. I fucking hate running. I never want to see another stupid trail ever again,” I mutter to myself as I try, yet again, not to fall on my ass. I am not successful.

Checking my GPS watch for the millionth time, I try to temper my emotions. It’s still not updating. How close am I to the course? I should have listened to Sadie when she told me to laminate the map. I didn’t want the extra bulk. It was a backup anyway since the CalTopo app should be working, even this far into the backcountry. But it will only update if my damn phone turns on.

“Stupid fucking rain. Stupid fucking ultra-race with its stupid fucking course.” Good thing no one is around to listen to my deranged ramblings.

And at least I didn’t get hurt beyond a few scrapes and bruises. That would have been seriously dangerous, as opposed to the regular danger of being lost in the desert. Thinking back to the ten commandments from the start of the race, I roll my eyes. I didn’t even try to follow Moses.

“AHHHHHHHH!” I let out a scream. The desert swallows it whole, not even echoing it back to me. I resist the urge to kick something. My poor feet would never forgive me.

I stomp forward, using my poles to help me navigate the slick terrain in a futile attempt to stop myself from falling. Picking up my pace as I round the bend I’ve been aiming for for the last twenty minutes, I realize the race gods do actually hate me—I’m greeted by a fork in the barely visible path.

“SERIOUSLY?!” I yell again. “Uuuuuuuugh!”

“PAIGE?” a male voice I don’t quite recognize calls from the left. I scamper down the rock towards the sound of my name.

“Paige!” he calls again, closer this time.

“Hello?” I answer.

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