Page 101 of See You at the Finish Line

I nod, unable to bear the sight of Adam holding Levi at the moment. I take the stairs two at a time and lock myself in the bathroom, leaning against the door before sliding down to sit on the floor.

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Where do we go from here? Leah will need me while she recovers, and it’s not like Adam can take a month off his job. He’s already getting calls three times a day. He needs to go back.

And I can almost guarantee that Maxim has fired me. I haven’t checked any of my emails, instead putting them in a different folder where they sit unread.

I’ll probably have to move back to Utah anyway. I can’t be away from Leah and Levi anymore. Three months was enough. I have to be with them—they’re my only family.

The shower helps as I try to clear my thoughts of Adam. But I don’t know why I even try—I can’t get him out of my head. It’s been two years, two stupid years, and I’ve never been able to get him out. His words from the hospital have been on replay for the past few weeks.

I’m Adam and I’m in love with your sister.

He said he’s in love with me. I know I’m in love with him, but how will this work? I’m not going to make the same mistake again. I need to talk to him. After my shower, I dry off and sneak into my room to get dressed. I hear the shower turn on from down the hall and peek into the nursery.

Levi is fast asleep. That was quick. Adam is a miracle worker with Levi, and I don’t blame the baby. One night in his arms was enough to give me the best sleep of my entire life.

I’m sitting on the couch folding laundry when Adam comes downstairs and sits beside me.

“I have to move back here, Adam,” I say without looking at him.

“I know.” He sounds resigned.

“You should go back to Vancouver.”

When he doesn’t say anything, I finally lift my head. He’s staring at me.

“Is that what you want?” he asks.

“No. I love Vancouver, I love my job, and I ... I don’t want you to leave. But I have to stay here.”

“You don’t though, Paige. You can come home with me. I know not right away, but when Leah heals.”

Home.

As I picture the house I was in for all of five minutes, a warmth spreads through me. I can see it—going back, moving in with him. It would be home there, but not fully. Half of my heart lives here, with Leah and Levi.

Tears well up in my eyes. I’m so torn.

He comes to kneel in front of me, bracing his hands on my knees until I look at him again.

“Think about it, okay?” he says. I nod and he squeezes my thighs.

“You have to go, don’t you?” Even though I just told him to go back, I hate the words.

His forehead meets mine and he takes a big inhale. “I do, but I don’t want to.”

I nod again, leaning into him.

“It’ll be okay, sweetheart,” he whispers into my hair.

And then he’s gone. I sit on the couch as he silently packs his things. I try to insist he take a plane home and let me drive his car back when I can, but he just shakes his head.

The door clicks shut, and he may as well have slammed it with how loud the silence is after he’s gone.

Levi starts to cry, and I wipe the tears from my face, knowing my heart is officially torn in two, with one piece here and the other getting farther and farther away with each minute.

If I thought thedrive to Utah was long, it’s nothing compared to the drive back. Cold and emptiness surround me as I pull into my driveway two days later. I sit in my car and look up at my house. The one I want to share with Paige. My heart lurches thinking of her never stepping foot here again.

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