Page 90 of See You at the Finish Line

I can’t help it. I giggle.

“Youareevil.” His breath tickles my neck and I suck in a breath.

“Having a little difficulty over there?”

“Not little,” he whispers.

This man. Even with his hips no longer against mine, I start to feel a presence on my backside, and it takes a lot of strength not to press my ass into him.Behave, Paige.

“Can you talk about something, anything?” he asks, his voice full of desperation.

I laugh again, earning me a tiny pinch on my side. It’s the wrong thing to do because I jerk back in surprise and the fullness of his erection connects with my ass. Goddamn it. His fingers dig into my hip, and I no longer have anything to laugh about. His breaths are deep and with each exhale, the air flutters down my neck. I involuntarily shiver, even though there’s nothing cold about me right now. I’m hot everywhere.

“Paige,” he groans.

“Yeah?”

“Please start rambling.” He squeezes my hip and then pushes me away again, removing his hand with reluctance. At least, I imaginehe’s reluctant. I feel the tension in him and decide he’s a very good man. I should help him out.

“I was on a run when my mom died.” And just like that, a cold blanket douses the heat in my body. I don’t know why that’s what I chose to say, but I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since Shay told me there’d been an accident.

“What?” Adam says, surprise colouring his voice.

“That’s why I stopped running. After the ultra, it was hard to get back into it but then my mom got sick. Leah and I had moved to Salt Lake by that point and shared the load to drive her to and from her doctor’s appointments since she refused to move in with us. All of our spare time was dedicated to finding out what was wrong.

“Then when Leah found out she was pregnant and Ian had left her, my mom refused her help. But Leah is so stubborn, it became a big point of contention. They argued a lot. After a scan, they found Mom’s brain tumour. The biopsy confirmed it was malignant. There wasn’t anything we could do, but we convinced her to get chemo. We wanted more time with her.

“I hadn’t slept in days, so Leah offered to trade with me since it was my turn to pick up Mom, and all but kicked me out of the house, saying I was stressing them both out. Mom told me it would make her happy if I went on a run—she missed seeing the happiness it brought me.

“So I went, not planning on going very far. I considered leaving the house and sitting on the front step until an acceptable amount of time had passed, but Leah would’ve known to check my GPS app. She knew me too well to let me get away with it. When I got going,my ten-minute run turned into twenty, then forty, and before I knew it, I was ten miles from home. I was so distracted by my music that I hadn’t felt my phone buzzing in my pocket.

“When I finally answered it, Leah was at the hospital telling me that Mom had decided to get surgery without telling us. She’d had it planned for weeks, and got her own ride. Leah had arrived at her house only to find her gone. I couldn’t reach anyone to come and get me, so I had to turn around and run the ten miles home. When I was three miles away, Leah called again. My mom hadn’t made it. She was gone.

“I don’t remember running home. My brain completely shut down, refusing to believe any of it was real, it didn’t feel real. But when I got home, I collapsed. Now any time I run my body thinks the worst thing is happening and I have panic attacks. I’ve been in therapy for PTSD and it’s helping the triggers, but it’s still hard to run. Running means something terrible is happening and I can’t do anything about it. It means that I can’t get back in time.”

My words hang in the air around me, lingering like a dark cloud I can’t escape. My pillow is wet from tears I hadn’t noticed.

“Can I hold you?” he whispers. His voice is so soft and kind, I can't help but feel a different wave of emotion.

I nod but realize he probably can’t tell. “Yes,” I whisper, my voice cracking.

The word is barely out when his heavy arm snakes around my waist. I thought we were pressed together before but then he wraps himself around me, his arm holding my middle and dragging me completely against him. His other arm threads under my head andhe’s holding me so tightly. I’ve never been comfortable sleeping wrapped up like this, but I don’t think I’ve ever felt so safe and secure in my entire life. I entwine my legs with his.

“I’m so sorry, Paige,” he whispers once we’ve settled.

“Thank you.”

He hesitates. “I’m sorry for more than your mom’s passing. I’m sorry for not being there to hold you through it. I’m sorry you and Leah had to go through it alone.”

“We had each other,” I try to say, but I know what he means. It’s hard to lean on people who are also grieving and need holding.

“From what you told me of your mom, she sounds like an incredible woman.” His voice is so soft.

“She always thought you would come back into my life.” I smile at the memory of my mom’s lecture about keeping the race a secret from her. And then when she found out about Adam, her lecture turned into something else entirely. The knowing look she gave me lingers at the forefront of my mind.

“Really?”

“Yeah, she was a big believer in fate.” She’d said,I wouldn’t write him off just yet, honey.

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