Page 48 of See You at the Finish Line

He’s sweet, if not a little preoccupied with himself sometimes. Not tonight, though. We’ve been on a few dates, and I know he thinks tonight’s the night we’re having sex. I thought so too until my conversation with Adam in his office.

Just being alone with him in that room for five minutes set my body on fire more than any of my dates with Nate, even though he’s a delicious specimen of muscles and cheekbones.

To be fair, so is Adam. He’s a lot more muscular than the last time I saw him. It’s physically painful to look at him because Isimultaneously want to scratch his pretty blue eyes out and climb his body to have my way with him.

It’s been a struggle.

Nate has been a fun distraction for the most part. He asked me out a few days after we met, and when I told him I had to think about it, Leah threatened to drive up here and beat the shit out of me. So I said yes. And not because I believe for one second that my incredibly smart but incredibly limp-noodle-armed sister could take me down. I did it for me. And because my therapist also agreed it would be a good idea.

Nate is looking at me, a small smile on his lips. He’s so pretty.

“Sorry, I had a fight with my ... boss today.” Is Adam my boss? Not really. More like a client, right?

“With Maxim?”

Shit. “Uh, no. I guess boss isn’t the right word. Just someone from work.”

“Want to talk about it?” He’s so sweet tonight. Almost too sweet.

“No, that’s okay.” I make it a point not to have those deep conversations with him. Whenever we begin talking about something other than hockey, work, sports, or our love of dogs, I steer the conversation back to those safe topics. Though I know more about him than he does about me. My therapist said I need to start broaching some deeper topics if I’m ever going to get close to anyone again.

I see the crestfallen look in his eyes, and I feel guilty I’m not giving him a real chance to know me. So I pull up my big girl panties and take a deep breath.

“It’s about the staff race,” I tell him.

“The 5k?”

“Yeah ... I don’t want to do it.”

He laughs like it’s a joke. “I don’t think many of us want to do it, but Adam’s always trying to get us to do crazy things.”

I find it kind of funny that he thinks a 5k is a wild idea. “Oh? Like what?”

He takes a sip of his water. The season is starting soon so he’s not drinking. It’s been good, actually, because I don’t like drinking alone. It makes me uncomfortable, so I’ve cut back as well.

“When he started, oh, when was it? Less than a year ago, I think. Anyway, he tried to get us to go to Utah to do some big hike called Angel’s Landing. We looked it up but our general manager shut the idea down instantly. We’re worth way too much money to die falling off a cliff,” he says with another laugh.

“He wanted to go to Utah?”

“Yeah, said he was there a while ago and fell in love.”

Water gets lodged in my throat as I take a sip from my glass. I try not to cough so hard it comes out my nose and I’m suddenly aware that the room is stifling. Did they turn the heat up in the last few seconds? Nate gives me a minute to collect myself.

“I didn’t know he was seeing anyone.” Did that sound casual? I don’t think so. Everything is so loud in my head right now. I feel like I can taste my lungs.

Nate looks at me, confused. “He’s not.”

“You said he fell in love.” My heart will not stop racing.

“Yeah, he loved Utah. Said the desert was super cool or something like that.”

Oh.

“Well,” I say, trying to shift the topic away from Adam, “I’m from Utah. And I’ve done the Angel’s Landing hike a bunch of times. It’s relatively close to where I used to live.”

“Really? What a coincidence,” he says with a smile. A coincidence indeed.

“Yeah, small world. The hike is really good, but there are more intense ones that are less popular. Angel’s Landing is just the most dangerous open to the public. It’s pretty scary when you’re going up but, honestly, it’s not too bad. As long as you’re not an idiot about it, you’d be safe.”

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