Page 34 of Fragile

I need to be strong. For the team, for the game. For myself. Even if it means hiding the truth.

***

The locker room is a frenzy of celebration. We won. The exhaustion from the game is creeping up on me fast, but the victory has everyone buzzing, the adrenaline still coursing through our veins.

After we’ve showered and are dressed to the nines in our suits, the team heads to the hotel bar to keep the party spirit going. Apparently, they’re happy for us to have beer if some of the seniors order it. Not the best logic, but I’m too drained to join in.

“Where the hell are you going, Cooper?” Hudson asks as I try to slip away, needing some quiet time.

“To sleep, man. Have a drink for me, okay?”

“Party pooper.”

“Yeah, yeah. Get lost. Go party,” I say, pressing the button for the elevator.

My feet are heavy as I lumber to my room, swiping the keycard. I suddenly get an overwhelming scent of cinnamon, and my head snaps to the second bed in the room where I see Quinn sitting, with her laptop open. My heart skips a beat, surprise and confusion washing over me. “Quinn?” I say, my voice tinged with disbelief. “What are you doing here?”

She offers a small, awkward smile, taking off her headphones. “Seb asked if we could switch rooms for the night. He wanted to be with Indie,” she says with hesitation. “I didn’t think you’d mind…”

“Right. That makes sense. No, it’s fine that you’re here. Of course it is.”

With a grimace so unlike her, she closes her laptop. “Really? Because I can ask if there’s another room. Maybe that would be better.”

My feet move toward her bed before I can stop them. “No, no, it’s…” I stop myself and take a breath. “It’s fine, Queenie. I want you here.”

We’re both quiet for a moment, the air thick with unspoken words. She clears her throat to break the silence. “Okay, thank you.”

Turning back to my bed, I take off the tie that suddenly feels too tight. “You don’t have to thank me, I’m glad you’re here,” I admit, because she’s still my best friend, no matter what. I want to be around her; she’s comfort, she’s safe, and I need that.

She doesn’t make an attempt to put her headphones back on, and the weight of our last encounter feels like a physical presence standing between us. Quinn and I have never had awkwardness between us before, and I’m not sure how to dealwith it now. I’ve been hiding, ignoring things, sure, but I also know I can’t keep doing that. My fingers run down my shirt, unbuttoning the top few buttons so I can breathe again.

In and out. In and out.

But it doesn’t work. I know we need to talk, clear the air, but how do I bring up the kiss?‘Hey, do you remember last night when I kissed you? Well, funny thing, I’ve been wanting to do that again, I think? Which is weird…because we don’t do that.’Yeah, that’s terrifying.

She takes a deep breath, her exhale wobbly, and it makes me turn my head.

“Listen—” I say, at the same time as she says, “Are we—”

We both laugh, the room growing stifling with unsaid words. “You go,” I offer.

She licks her lips, and it’s that exact moment I know I’m screwed. All I can think is how I want to be closer to her, to feel her, to learn even more about her, because Quinn isn’t just the girl that’s been in front of me my whole life, she’s strong and so fucking beautiful.Does she feel the same?The question plagues me. “Are we ignoring the elephant in the room, or do you not remember anything from last night?”

Relief and anxiety battle within me. I run a hand through my hair, exhaling slowly. “Fuck,” I admit, my voice barely above a whisper. “It’s been driving me crazy, honestly.”

Her green eyes pierce mine, and for a moment there’s complete silence, the only sound the rapid thumping of my heart.

“Crazy good or crazy bad?” she asks, tilting her head with an unreadable expression on her face.

The edge of that cliff feels like it’s right there beneath my feet. I could lie and lose her, but that thought tears me up inside. “Just crazy,” I settle on, rubbing the back of my neck.

“Do you want to forget about it?” she asks, and that twists my insides further.

I take a tentative step toward her bed. “I don’t know how to handle this.”

“Okay, then answer me this: Have you been ignoring me on purpose?”

Guilt eats at me, because yeah, I have to a degree while I’ve tried to sort my head out today. “I just didn’t know how to figure this out. I didn’t want to make things weird between us.”

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