Page 63 of Understanding Fate

“How long will it take?” I ask, picking at my nails to keep myself from pacing around the room.

“A few minutes. It will need to complete an update and a hard restart, but we should be good soon,” he says, his focus never leaving the device. “Do me a favor and grab two water bottles from the fridge. We might need them.”

Nodding, I walk into the kitchen, happy to have something to do to fill the time.

It's going to happen.

I’m ready for this.

God, I hope I’m ready for this.

When I return, the screen has a loading ring with 87% showing. I hand the water bottles to him, and he opens one before returning it to me.

“Drink. Shifting the first few times will take all of your strength,” he says, concern evident in his tone.

We are doing this.

I’m becoming a wolf shifter.

I’m ready for this.

What the actual fuck! I am not ready for this. Who could ever be ready for this?!?!

The room sways, causing my knees to buckle, and I nearly sink to the floor, but before I do, Cain’s strong arms loop my waist, supporting me.

“Breathe, Firefly,” he whispers into my hair, and I focus on his voice.

Fucking panic attacks are for the birds.

I focus on his even breathing and calm mine to match. I focus on the warmth of his embrace, allowing it to take away the chill of fear coursing through me.

“Will Awakening me get rid of these?” I ask, finding my voice.

“No, Firefly. It won’t change who you are like that. This is a part of you,” his words don’t comfort me.

“I want to be strong enough to not have them. I wanted this to fix me,” I whisper, fully back in control.

“You aren’t broken, Firefly. You feel emotions deeply because of everything you’ve had to overcome. It’s not a weakness to be able to feel. It’s a strength, one most people will never be able to understand. Your heart is the most beautiful thing about you.”

His words hang in the air, and I find myself speechless.

He sees me.

“I’m ready,” I say, vocalizing the words I’d spent the last hour trying to convince myself were true.

I’m ready.

Chapter 25

Cain

Fucking focus!

You’ve seen this done a million times.

I chastise myself, hoping the argument will take away the overwhelming mix of emotions I feel.

I’ve never done this.