Page 92 of Fate Awakened

“What if my choice doesn’t include you?” I ask, knowing my heart will never heal if he’s always around. A growl resonates from his chest, and his eyes flash silver before he steps back, breaking our connection and leaving me a little off balance.

“I don't know,” he says after a moment. “My wolf will fight to be near you. I’d want to respect your choice, but I’m an Alpha, my wolf is strong, and I can’t always control him when it comes to you. I wouldn’t be able to stay away,” he says, his voice melancholy as he admits he can’t give me what I want.

Wait a minute…

“You're an Alpha,” I repeat, not explaining my surprised response. This isn’t new information, but my realization is. “You could’ve used command on me to get me to do what you wanted. I know it works. Dante used it on me…” Before I can finish the explanation, he interrupts.

“He did what?!?” His eyes are back to silver, and I find myself reaching out and grabbing his forearm to ground him back in this moment.

Why am I not afraid right now?

“He used it to help me calm down from a panic attack.” I finish once I know he’s listening. His muscles sag, and he regains composure pulling me into his chest and wrapping his arms around me. I don’t pull away. I need this moment. I feel his lips kiss my hair, and I memorize his scent basking in the feel of him one more time.

“Why didn’t you use it on me?” I ask again into his chest, trying to understand how someone who could lie to me for weeks, didn’t just use command to tell me not to talk about the video.

“I would never take away your free will, Firefly.” His statement hits me right in the chest, and damned if the tiniest spark of hope doesn’t flicker to life.

“Thank you. For answering my questions,” I say, attempting to step out of the embrace, but his arm locks behind me, and he pulls my chin up with his finger.

His lips are a breath away from mine, and my eyes stare at him, questioning all of this.

I came here for closure, but my heart has other plans.

“I’m sorry I lied to you. You’re the most important thing in my world. Losing you was like losing myself. I know I hurt you, and I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to you. My world’s endless darkness without you, Firefly. I need your light.” With that, he closes the distance, and his lips touch mine.

Every emotion I have felt over the last few days pours into this kiss. It conveys every word left unspoken between us, our souls reconnecting. I feel the shards of broken pieces inside me begin to fuse back together as his tongue dances over my lip, requesting access. I comply, opening for him and letting him dive further into me.

My arms loop behind his neck, and I get lost in the intensity. The world around us blurs, and, for a moment, we’re the only two people left. No lies, no betrayal, no pain. Just our love, fighting to bring us back together. I pull back, needing air in my lungs, as I realize I’m crying again. Cain lays his forehead on mine, his breathing heavy.

We don't speak, knowing anything we say now pales in comparison to the conversation our hearts just had.

The sun sets behind us, and time no longer exists. The memory of the kiss on my lips feels like forgiveness, a closing of a chapter. He leans down, kissing the trail of my tears before pulling me back into his arms.

If I came here today with a million questions, I’m leaving with even more.

Do I forgive him? Can I trust him? Could this work? Is this what I want?

Question after question rolls through my thoughts before he finally speaks.

“Get out of your head, Firefly. I can feel your wheels turning from up here,” His statement reminds me of his words after he made love to me the first time, and I brace myself at the memory expecting pain to follow.

Nothing.

Letting out a sigh, I step out of his hold. Music is playing on the other side of the house, indicating the service is starting.

We walk side by side, just far enough apart to feel the magnetic pull between us. It sends electricity through my skin, urging me to reach for Cain’s hand. I resist the temptation, knowing today was a step toward healing, but it wasn’t the end. We need time. I need space.

Cain stands next to me for the length of the service. To his credit, he doesn’t reach for me, even when the tears start flowing again. Dante and several pack members stand up to speak, each ending with the same phrase. ‘Fates protect you'. Hudson’s parents are the last to speak, and I feel guilt as they talk about Hudson’s dreams for the future, and love for the pack is almost all-consuming.

They lost their son because of me.

I’m so sorry.

I hope they know how grateful I am. That I won’t waste this chance. That it mattered. Once they finish their speeches, Hudson's mom takes one last look at her son and walks back to her seat, tears shaking her body. Dante returns to the front, kneels before the pyre that holds the body of his fallen pack member, and sets it ablaze.

The crowd sits silently as the flames grow, heating the area and bringing light to the yard. I say my own goodbye, promising Hudson that I’ll live a life worthy of his sacrifice and thanking him for giving me this chance.

After the service, Cain walks me back out to my car. We haven’t said a word since our moment by the garden. He waits, holding open the door as I toss Liv’s jacket inside. Turning back to him, I try to find the words.

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