Page 31 of Christmas With My Ex

I force a smile, but it feels brittle, hollow. “Yeah, I’m fine,” I lie. “Just need to stretch my leg. You two keep it going, I'll be back.”

Without waiting for a response, I push myself up, my crutches scraping against the floor as I hobble away from the table, my heart racing. I can’t be near him right now. Not when everything feels so raw, so exposed. The betrayal cuts deep, sharper than I expected.

As I make my way to the door, the weight of it all crashes over me. I thought—no, Ihoped—that this time might be different. That maybe there was an ember still there between us. But now I see it for what it is. I was a convenient hole for him to put his dick. What an idiot I was.

I reach the door, my breath coming in sharp bursts, and I step outside, the cold air biting at my skin. I lean against the wall, giving my gimp leg a rest and wondering if I should get the fuck out of here.

I let the wind whip through my hair, trying to calm the storm inside me. But it’s too late. The anger, the hurt—it’s all too much. Snow and bum knee be damned, I’m done.

TWELVE

Nicholas

Have a holly jolly Christmas / It’s the best time of the year.

2:11 pm

The secondI see her walk away, my stomach drops. I don’t even have time to explain, to try and make her understand. She’s gone, storming out of the bar, and all I can do is sit here, frozen.

How am I going to fix this?

“Shit,” I mutter under my breath, barely aware that Benjy’s still talking. He doesn’t realize what just happened, what bomb he’s just dropped on her. But I do. I know how she thinks.

I need to find her. Now.

"Dude, I'm so sorry to cut you off, but I need to go make sure she is okay. Merry Christmas."

Without waiting for a response, I’m out the door, pushing past the crowd of smokers out front. My heart races as I survey the throng of people gathered, looking for her face. The cold hits me like a slap in the face as I crane my neck left and then right, but she's nowhere to be seen.

I scour the streets, looking for any sign of her. Nothing.

It’s snowing again, the wind picking up, and it’s hard to see more than a few feet in front of me. She can’t have gotten far, not with her leg like that, but I have no idea where she’s headed.

Or did she go back in the bar and I missed her? Maybe I'm overreacting. I run back in to look around and close my tab. She's definitely not anywhere in here.

The hotel. That’s the only place that makes sense. I start moving, almost jogging through the snow, hoping I’m right.

My mind is spinning, replaying everything in my head. I can't imagine how it must feel to know I was there with her after Benjy found her. I didn't speak up, I just stayed back and let him take control.

And then, after we were reunited, I should have told her then. But I was worried she would react like this, so I stupidly chose not to. And now it is ten times worse.

God, how could I have let this happen? Why didn’t I just tell her? I had so many chances to say something, to be honest with her, and now it’s blown up in my face.

And hers.

I push harder through the snow, my breath coming in sharp bursts. I should’ve known this would come back to bite me. Keeping secrets always does.

I’m almost at the resort when I see her. Hobbling on her crutches, head down, the snow swirling around her as she makes her way inside.

“Rives!” I call out, but she doesn’t stop. She doesn’t even look back.

I break into a run, my boots crunching against the fresh snow, the cold biting at my face. By the time I reach the door, she’s already inside, her crutches tapping against the stone floor of the lobby. I follow her in, the warmth of the hotel washing over me, but it does nothing to ease the chill settling in my chest.

“Rives,” I call again, more desperate this time. "Please, let me explain."

She stops, but she doesn’t turn around. Her shoulders are tense, her posture rigid, and I know she’s trying to hold it together.

I close the distance between us, my heart hammering in my chest. “I'm sorry you had to find out like that,” I say, my voice low but urgent. “I want to tell you why.”

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